to challenge a childminder contract?

[missusmrs]

We have been with our current CM for 5 months now and there have been various issues that have bothered me but I have never addressed - too much TV, pizza/fishfingers every night, panics over every runny tummy/spot etc - ringing calling me home from work etc.
We started potty training 3.5 weeks ago, we had our 2.9 at home as she was on hols for 2 weeks mid term so we we spent the time potty training and went back dry with no accidents. he has been with her now 1.5 weeks and he has had 2 accidents, both which have lead to a near meltdown on her behalf. Last week he had an accident at soft play and she was furious both with my DS and us wheb we collected. My DS1 (5.5) has since quoted her going on about a waste of money and how naught DS2 is etc. Since then our drop off an dpick conversations have only centred around toilet routine. yesterday he was at he park and had an accident she told my DH on pick up last night. At drop off this am, she has a right go at me wondering why he couldnt 'get it', most kids did at 2, she has never had a kid who had accidents (She 60 and has been a CM all her life). To such an extent I went to work in tears. It has since come to light (DH didnt tell me as he knew it would upset me) but she left DS2 standing in the park in his dirty and wet pants until she was ready to go home with other kids!!!! I just want to go home now pick them up and never go back - an option Im strong considering - where does it leave me in terms of our contract - I think I need to give her 2 months notice ..but I think her actions have invalided it in some way?

[nennypops]

Cover your back and write to her detailing why you took the children out, stating clearly that she was in breach of contract.

[AlbertoFrog]

You're doing the right thing OP

Hugs.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Mabey this is the wake up call she needs, sounds as though she has become too se in her ways and needs ofstead intervention

[Goldmandra]

If you report her to Ofsted they will either contact her to ask for an account of her actions by phone or it will trigger an inspection.

She will be given an opportunity to explain her version of events and tell the inspector her policies on behaviour management and toilet training.

She will, of course, give a very good account of herself and deny that she would ever neglect/humiliate a child by leaving him in wet/soiled clothing or express anger when a child has an accident. However, it will then be on record and she will have to be careful to make sure nothing gets reported again. That may well mean that the children remaining in her care are treated better in the future.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Yes report her to OFSTEAD she should nit be working as a CM

[Aeroflotgirl]

She sounds awful, she should not be a CM, I would remove him straight away, poor boy

[Rauma]

Pull the kids out of there and makes sure you leave truthful comments on any local childminders site.

[MsVestibule]

Do report her to OFSTED. She'll be advertising for more children soon and will possibly treat them as she has just treated your DC. I realise it's going to be her word against yours, but at least your complaint has been logged.

[Whathaveiforgottentoday]

Good on you. Please do report to Ofsted. I removed mine 2 DD's from a childminder and I wish I'd reported her as recently I've heard 3 other parents with similar but much worse complaints about her. I didn't want to report as it felt malicious but I wish I had, hearing what others went through.

[NadiaWadia]

She was 'shocked and upset'??? So she thought you would just accept your DS being treated like this?

TBH it sounds as if she doesn't even like children very much, so goodness knows why she has carried on being a childminder for so many years.

[Sharaluck]

This is so sad :(
I hope you find a lovely new cm very soon

[starlight1234]

shocking behaviour...I am a CM and yes I would say pull them out...

Not only is it neglect but also at the time of toilet training they need lots and lots of praise not to even feel sad about.

My Ds had 2 soiling accidents the first week back at nursery when toilet training... just to reassure you that Ds's is perfectly normal...

Hope you find much better care for your children

[missusmrs]

Thanks everyone for the input it has been a great morale boost to log on and read. It has been hugely upsetting for us all but we went round and collected them and told her they're not coming back. She was shocked and upset. We didn't engage on any issues/reason just said we would send it all in writing. As much as I hate confrontation and upset when I think of my little one standing in a wet dirty pants in the park I'm furious. Last week after his first accident at soft play she was very angry, as we walked home I asked him if she had been angry, he said yes, DS1 said 'furious' I asked DS 2 if he had cried and he said 'No..just sad'...deal breaker.

[underachievingmum]

So glad you have taken them out - you poor things!!

My childminder is fab - my 3.5 year old DS is having a period of accidents. Last time it happened with her she not only changed him but also washed and tumble dries his trousers as she knows I don't have a drier!!

There are truly fab ones out there - it's just finding them!!

[MsMarvel]

I'd imagine somewhere in the contract it mentions safe care, or along the lines of looked after well etc which she has broken so you wouldn't be the first one to break it.

[OurMiracle1106]

Surely within your contract there is a duty of care to your child ro provide a safe and healthy atmosphere. She has failed to do so by leaving him in dirty clothes and quite possibly the reason behind his accidents is anxiety caused by her. I should add the advice I got from the health visitor was to start introducing the potty at around 2years ish

[FabBakerGirl]

I hope you find someone better next time.

[Cakeismymaster]

You've done the right thing to remove. A few years ago when my son was about the same age as yours we had a very similar incident, except in our case the cm smacked our son and put a nappy on him - she said he was wetting himself on purpose. He had a visible bruise on his bottom where she had smacked him and it was my son who told me she had done that.
I reported her to ofsted and they investigated, at their leisure! And subsequently came back to me to say they could find nothing wrong with her or her setting nor any evidence that the incident happened so did not pursue it further, nor did they put a 'report' or whatever it is on her registration. I was made to feel like the one at fault..
I didn't pay her notice obviously!
And as a pp mentioned, it was slightly a tip of the iceberg as after that other things came out re her being horrid with ds, friend witnessed her shouting at him and him in tears etc.
so moral of the story is you have done the right thing but don't get your hopes up that ofsted will do anything. I also made sure I told the other parents about what happened but 2 of them chose not to believe me!

[NeedAdviceNameChanger]

I hope you're ok op

[Goldmandra]

Put what you have described in writing to her and say that you consider her to have breached the contract by not providing adequate care for your child, therefore you are withdrawing both children with immediate effect.

She sounds horrible. She probably should have stopped childminding years ago before she became so jaded.

[AnitaBlake]

Oh my goodness! I would be removing them too! DD1 has been at her preschool now since the beginning of January, we all send in changes of clothes for accidents, in fact today I was in early and greeted by a little girl saying 'I've wee'd my pants'! It's so normal for accidents to happen, and creating anxiety around it only makes it worse.

You're doing the right thing xxx

[Alliwantisaroomsomewhere]

I agree with all the other posters about removing your children immediately and about reporting her to OFSTED.

I am an ex childminder and get very, very upset about other CMs treating children this way because it give the other lovely, kind, decent CMs such a bad name.

Don't pay her another penny. I also agree that you must put in writing exactly why she can shove her notice period up her arse. If she pursues you for the money via the small claims court, then your letter can be entered as evidence against her claiim. However, only if she was EXTREMELY bloody stupid would she consider small claims court.

Hope your kids are ok.

[HadABadDay2014]

Never ignore your instincts, take them out and send an email stating the reasons why and that you will not be giving notice.

[floppyfanjo]

Report her now !!!!!!

She should never be allowed to care for children again and it should be recorded as such.

Oh and while you are at it I'd be thinking long and hard at why your DH thought not to inform you about the park incident and why he thought it was ok to continue to send your child there.............................