Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4

AIBU?

To think its weird to refer to your partners parents as in-laws?

76 replies

montgomerymadison · 26/02/2014 00:42

My colleague has been with a guy for one year. They are not engaged, nor do they live together yet she refers to his parents as the in-laws. His parents also live a few hours away so it's not as if she sees them frequently.

I'd understand in more long term relationships where you've lived together and had children and for whatever reason not been married to call partners parents in laws then.

Aibu to think the first however is rather odd?

OP posts:

Report

ginbin54 · 26/02/2014 07:33

YANBU.

BeaHive · 26/02/2014 07:39

Partner doesn't sound right until you, erm, are actually in a partnership; though boyfriend might sound a bit coy.

OddBoots · 26/02/2014 07:40

I'm married but unless I am referring to dh's family en masse I don't call them my in-laws, I'd say 'dh's dad and step-mum' or 'dh's oldest brother' or 'dh's youngest sister and her family'.

insancerre · 26/02/2014 07:42

YABU
What would you call them then, OP?

crochetedblanket · 26/02/2014 08:24

YABU. Marriage is nowhere near as important to my generation as it has been in the past. Terms like this will extend to non married people more and more.

shewhowines · 26/02/2014 08:32

It's strange to me if people over 25 call their partner "boyfriend". Thats for the young 'uns.

Dukketeater · 26/02/2014 08:46

Yeh I think its weird that early on...

I started calling the PITA that is my MIL, the MIL after we had a baby (but weren't married) because it was easier for strangers to understand but mostly I just call her 'his mum' because I don't like associating her to me!

And yes, amongst friends I call her the outlaw...

HavantGuard · 26/02/2014 08:48

No, not particularly. I only ever refer to mine as ILs on here and I'm married! In RL they're 'DH's parents'.

HavantGuard · 26/02/2014 08:49

Yes to boyfriend being cringey when you're over 25!

SeaSickSal · 26/02/2014 08:52

YABU, and does it really make a jot of difference to your life? Why are you thinking about this? People have too much time on their hands...

BringBackBod · 26/02/2014 08:52

Yabu.
It doesn't really matter that much does it?

Dukketeater · 26/02/2014 09:05

BF def cringey over 25!

mrsjay · 26/02/2014 09:07

it is just easier for people really it is usually said in a light hearted sort of way

mrsjay · 26/02/2014 09:08

so when does a boyfriend become a partner or does he progress to man friend

SaucyJack · 26/02/2014 09:13

I refer to my dad's partner as that-slapped-arse-faced-slag-he-insists-on-dragging-everywhere.

Perhaps this makes me sound resentful.

mrsjay · 26/02/2014 09:15

wee bit long winded that saucy

EverythingCounts · 26/02/2014 09:16

It's the length and seriousness of the relationship, not marital status, that counts for me. People who've been together for years and live together, no problem with saying ILs. But a couple who've only been together a year and don't live together and where she doesn't know the parents well - I would say they're getting ahead of themselves. So on that basis YANBU.

shewhowines · 26/02/2014 09:17

I don't think I could ever call anyone "man friend"

Obviously when you are 24 3/4 you can call him boyfriend, but on your birthday this must change to partner

LyndaCartersBigPants · 26/02/2014 09:19

I still refer to the ex's family as the ILs - is that allowed or do I have to call them my ex's sister and BIL?

I also refer to my BF as DP, even though we don't live together, because I'm too old to have a 'boyfriend'. We spend at least half our week together, go on holiday together with and without our DCs (who btw, refer to each other as step-sisters!) and would no doubt be living together if it weren't for the logistics of children's schools.

Just because we don't want to uproot our DCs from their friends and family it doesn't mean we're not committed to each other, so if I want to call him DP and his family the ILs I will.

So ner.

mrsjay · 26/02/2014 09:20

hehe @ shewowine I remember my neighbour would talk about her boyfriend coming to the house to meet her dds SHE WAS 85

Spaghettio · 26/02/2014 09:22

I called my DP my partner from the off. I'm in my thirties - boyfriend makes it sound like I'm 12! I'm not going to use manfriend or anything else. He was my partner - romantically, socially and everything else.

He's now my fiancé!

OTheHugeManatee · 26/02/2014 09:23

Not weird as such, just inaccurate as 'in law' they have no relationship to te person referring to them as in-laws.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

mrsravelstein · 26/02/2014 09:23

i call my MIL my MIL even though she's not, because it's a lot easier than saying "my husband's late father's longterm gf with whom he never lived and to whom he was not married".

mrsjay · 26/02/2014 09:24

i was joking about manfriend obviously, I just think if you are in a relationship for a shortwhile then partner is serious thing to say,

oldwomaninashoe · 26/02/2014 09:24

Ds4's girlfriend of 4 years now lives with us and I must admit the first time I heard her refer to me as the MIL I was a bit I prefer to be known by my own name and not catagorised.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.