You get out all your old baby things, give them to dad and then he'll bring them over and I'll pick what I want

[HuiledOlive]

Is this a reasonable answer to 'do you want to borrow anything for the new baby'?

My youngest is 8, the baby things are not carefully filed away for when Princess Sister had a baby, they are instead randomly scattered in lofts, sheds and with other friends who've borrowed them.

AIBU to be a bit pissed off that I'm expected to get EVERYTHING out, she can't even come and get it herself and I'll be getting the rejects back! Oh and I am recovering from cancer (not seen dsis throughout my illness)!

I'm happy to dig out some items but this seems too much to me. They are far from struggling financially so I expect there will be a good deal she doesn't want.

[UriGeller]

Draw her a map to Mothercare.

[MomOfTwoGirls2]

Tell her it is scattered all over (your loft?) and that you haven't the energy now or in the near future to go searching it out, but herself and her DH are welcome to come over and dig through your loft for it themselves.
I'm sure she will refuse, and then you can make same offer to your work colleague.

[Sharaluck]

Just say sorry you are too busy and you doubt she would want anything anyway.

[FryOneFatManic]

If she couldn't be bothered to see you, then yes, give the stuff to pregnant work friend, who I bet would really appreciate it by what you've written.

[MerryWinterfel]

Give token tatty stuff to sister and nice stuff to unexpectedly pregnant friend from work :) If questioned by family look very hurt and say how nice the stuff was and how lovely, ramble on until they give up and go away :) Job done :)

[whois]

What sebsmummy1 said. Happy to dig something specific out but you're not up to collating everything together.

[DeWe]

You'd unfortunately offered it all (and it was then taken) a couple of months ago before you knew she was pregnant didn't you?
Sorry and all that.

[NigellasDealer]

mm just say ooh sorry it was in the attic and there was a leak!
then invite your young colleague and her partner over to dig it out.
and please do not worry about what family will think.

[daphnehoneybutt]

The bitch doesn't even want to see you.

I agree with PP - say it's got damp / eaten by mice.

[frogslegs35]

Nah don't waste your time OP.
If she's interested, kindly draw maps where the items now live and send her to view them/pick them up.

[HuiledOlive]

Thanks for your kind wishes, its been a bad time health-wise but I'm nearly out the other end, fingers crossed.
I might dig out a few things to show willing. I think its the fact the I'm pretty sure she'll turn her nose up at it anyway that makes me disinclined to go to a lot of trouble.
There's a young woman at work who is unexpectantly pg, she and her bf have very very little money and no parent support. I feel much more inclined to give it all to them. They would come round and dig through my loft for it too rather than expect us to. But I'm worried about reaction from family.

[MamaMumra]

I have to say that you did offer - I think she doesn't sound like she does wants anything or she might have been specific, so I wouldn't worry about it.

Sorry you've been through a rough time though OP.

[JohnnyUtah]

I don't think you should have made the offer really, she sounds really ungrateful. I think that won't work for me is the best answer now. Sorry she is so unsupportive of you.

Ps Love your username!

[HuiledOlive]

I guess it hurts more than normal because we wanted another dc, but the illness has prevented it, a fact that has not even been acknowledged by dsis or other family members.

[StyleOverSubstance]

Poor you! Sounds like you have had more than enough to worry about with your illness without pandering to spoilt little sister. Would just take the approach others have suggested - already given away or mouse got at it as it will save any family argument if she is the 'favoured one' and if there is anything you want to off-load to save yourself a trip to the tip or charity shop, give that with the proviso that anything not wanted/needed they should take to charity shop.

From what you have said though - I suspect she will be having all new stuff anyway and is not really interested, so it would be a shame to waste your time when any items will not really be appreciated.

Hope you are on the mend now OP, take care of yourself and don't worry about the baby things she may/may not want.

[formerbabe]

It wouldn't bother me if my sister had a baby and wanted all my baby stuff...but I have a close relationship with her....I think there is much more to this isn't there op?

[PurplePidjin]

be blunt. text back "i'm fine although still weak from the chemotherapy did you want to meet up now i'm out of hospital?"

but then i can be a heartless bitch

[HauntedNoddyCar]

Is there anything you actually want gone though? I'd send that with a note to give what she doesn't want to the charity shop. Don't look a decluttering horse in the mouth and all that.

Otherwise some vague excuse about having given it away or mouse attack is good.

[ReadyToPopAndFresh]

Do the mouse thing. Or a variation on the mouse thing. Then give it all to freecycle

[Quoteunquote]

Just say, "Nope, that won't work for me", repeat until she comes up with a suggestion that does work for you.

[expatinscotland]

Tell her you got rid of everything long ago.

[HuiledOlive]

Do you Rambling? I would never consider asking someone to get all their stuff out on to someone else and then pick over it.

I just wouldn't.

[RamblingRosieLee]

yes I do think its a pretty standard answer!

[hoppingmad]

Crazy pregnant people get on my nerves. When dsis was pregnant I gave her all of my old baby things, seemed logical and I thought no more of it.
Fast forward several years and I am pregnant with twins - dsis gives me a load of baby stuff (so far so good) then, after already giving her a load of presents for her family for Christmas she says "you aren't getting anything as I gave you all those baby things". Fair enough except it turns out to be everything i gave her AND she promptly states she wants it back as she is pregnant again. So, knowing how fussy she is I don't bother using any as she will complain about something - all is returned and I then get a phonecall moaning about missing sleep suits!! Argh, sorry for the rant but I've never mentioned it to anyone in rl and it's festered!!

I now give all my items to social services, they are much more appreciative!!

[RamblingRosieLee]

Just say NO.

I presume they realise your stuff is all over the place.

Gently let her down, say " I went to look for X and I actually think I remember now, we gave it away...and I couldn't find B, so its best you get your own stuff."