To think that this is way too long to eat a meal?

[Dollslikeyouandme]

We sat down for tea at 6.45pm, too late but I get back from work really late on Thursdays and that can't be helped.

It's a meal that ds likes, and not a big meal it's on a child sized plate. It's now 7.50 and he's still at the table eating,

[AwfulMaureen]

Treacle I'd be very worried about a child like that....is it possible he has some kind of eating disorder? Staring at his food with a miserable expression and not eating it seems like anxiety in the extreme.

[Feminine]

Sometimes children do this to control situations.

Your son sounds cute, but he is doing it with every situation isn't he?

It would drive me mad

[Dollslikeyouandme]

Yes we always eat together at the table, I do get fed up though after a bit and leave him sitting there once I've long finished.

[treaclesoda]

sorry for the thread hijack, but it just struck me that the child I know doesn't appear to be not concentrating on eating, doesn't appear to be daydreaming, it's quite the opposite, he concentrates very intensely on what is in front of him, it's like he is concentrating so hard on it that it overwhelms him. His little face is just a picture of misery when you put food in front of him, he knows he has to eat something, he even feels hungry, but it's like he just can't do it.

[Starballbunny]

DD2 could take that long easily, I have up in the end, stuch CBeebies on and left her to it. Nagging just made her slower and eat even less.

The only thing that has made DD2 eat is puberty, at almost 13 she final eats a reasonable portion in finite time.

[pixiepotter]

oh ok- missed the point!

[pixiepotter]

It's fine we don't and never have, eaten before 7.

[trashcanjunkie]

We have the opposite issue

[AwfulMaureen]

Treacle it's a case of sittiing, watching and stopping them from dreaming/playing....until they learn to concentrate on the task.

[TeamWill]

No playing with food in this house - warning and then remove it if he continues.

[girlywhirly]

This sounds a bit odd, but could you get him into the bath and into pyjamas first before he sits down to eat? Or even dispense with the bath on Thursdays? You could chivvy him through these and still be sitting down to eat at 6.45. Definitely set a time limit for the meal after which you remove the plate. Kitchen timer ticking away should help make him aware of the passage of time, and you can give occasional warnings as well.

[Redcliff]

Meant to add to my earlier post my DS is much better now (he is 6) and nowhere near as slow . Good luck and your DS does sound lovely. Jealous that yours will play for hours - mine needs company all the frigging time !

[treaclesoda]

see, I've always thought 'just take the plate away, they'll soon learn' but actually the child I know who dawdles so much over his food just doesn't. If you take his plate away, it makes no difference next time. So, he goes to school with no breakfast, he eats maybe one bite of a sandwich at lunch (school have contacted parents with their concerns) then he comes home and eats no dinner either. You'd think if this happened a couple of times he would learn but he doesn't, and naturally after a couple of days of no food his parents don't feel they can continue with it.

[merrymouse]

Also, I think that being slow goes with the territory for children of this age. If you can't tell the time and you don't really care if you will be late for whatever you are doing next it is difficult to be personally invested in being punctual.

Older children who can tell the time and don't want to be late tend to be quicker (although that may only be in the 10 minutes before they have to leave).

[merrymouse]

I think if he is taking that long to eat a meal he has had enough food during the day that you can take his plate away without worrying that he will go hungry.

[MsLT]

Chewing food slowly is fine IMO. Playing with it (e.g. diving potato wedges into water) is not.

[pricklyPea]

I think playing with the food needs to be stopped personally as that would drive me potty. He can go play in the bath after dinner but not with the dinner. I'd just say either eat it or you play in the bath. But my dc is only tiny so I'll probably eat my words later. :)

[Sharaluck]

Too long.

30 mins max for meals.

After 20 start hurrying him up and then take plate away when time is up.

[AwfulMaureen]

God I've never understood this complaint from parents...I hear it so often! Just take the bloody plate away! They soon learn to speed up!

[TheScience]

We use a timer for DS - he gets 15 minutes after everyone else is finished.

[Dollslikeyouandme]

He is Pavlov I know I'm biased but he is great.

Just annoying when he's playing diving men with two potato wedges and a beaker of water.

[Dollslikeyouandme]

Unfortunately he can't eat as he's in an after school care. On Thursdays we have freezer food/pre prepared day so tonight was scampi wedges and peas so 15 minutes in the oven. Problem is I don't get in until well gone 6.

Timer in the morning sounds great he'd think that was quite fun, he's just such a dolly daydream, he can concentrate when it's something he's really interested in so play lego or colour in for hours without a peep, I guess dinner, toilet, getting ready are boring to him.

Funny thing is he didn't used to be this slow he was quicker when he was a toddler.

[PavlovtheCat]

oh he sounds lovely! Sorry, that doesn't help when you are in a rush, but what a delightful little boy!

[CrohnicallyFarting]

If it's only a problem on Thursdays, could you alter anything to make it easier?

Where is he before you get home from work? Would it be possible for him to eat there- even just an afternoon tea type thing so he could have a lighter meal when you get home?

Do you ensure that dinner is ready as soon as you get in instead of having to cook? Thinking slow cooker, or prepared meals to microwave.

Is there any meal he is quicker to eat? Maybe something that can be eaten with his hands like pizza?

In the mornings, could you use something like a sand timer for each stage so he can see how much time he has left? So maybe a 15 minute timer, turn it once for him to eat breakfast, once for his poo, once to brush teeth/do hair, once to get dressed. (Obviously only if you're sure he's just messing and doesn't need longer to eat or poo) and a reward for sticking to the time (like a sticker chart) or consequence if he doesn't (eg once he's ready he could watch TV so overrunning means less TV time).