Am I being unreasonable to dislike this response to my status?

[Finsmum86]

Me and my partner have banter about him not clearing up, me being a nag etc. It is only a joke, which I would have thought is pretty standard husband/wife banter.

I put a status today saying 'After waiting six days for the bathroom to be cleaned, I am doing it myself. Men!'

I meant it in jest, and other comments from friends were along the lines of 'i wouldnt trust my husband to clean the bathroom' and 'they do it on purpose so we don't ask them again'. All in a lighthearted manner, with said husbands joining in. My partner did not comment, as his phone is broken so does not have immediate access, although I told him about it, and we were laughing about the comments.He was not annoyed in any way.

A few hours later, I noticed a comment on said status from partners aunty saying 'I dont see my nephew criticising you on facebook. It doesnt make you look good.'

Now I am shocked and a bit annoyed because we were having a joke, and partner was laughing along too. I have always had a distant friendly relationship (she lives far away) with her, with no issues.

I removed her comment and replied to her via inbox, saying sorry she was offended but my comment was in jest and that I think she has found fault were there isn't any. I also sent her a link of a past status of OH's where he had made a joke about me nagging him (which she had actually liked!).


Was I being unreasonable to post this status, or is she being unreasonable?

[JapaneseMargaret]

You've gotta hand it to the guy. He totally gets out of pulling his weight, and has his wife thinking that it's funny.

He should be running an MRA/PUA master-class.

[Newyearchanger]

Its a cheap laugh.. Unless he is amazing at housework and loves it and that is the joke

[Littleen]

This is exactly why I removed my mother and all others of that age of my fb! They just don't get stuff, and always have an opinion of your status. Pff, ignore her!

[meganorks]

From what you write alone there is no way of telling youare joking ttherefore YABU. She read it at face value then overreacted.

Personally I think putting f it on fb stops it being a bit jokey anyway

[LaGuardia]

I could not have waited six days tbh

[Newyearchanger]

For some reason I just can't stop laughing about
racist bingo

[alphabook]

There is nothing more irritating/boring to me than "aren't men useless" posts.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

Sorry but I love like terry and June got a FB page

[TheArticFunky]

I don't like gender stereotyping men are just as capable as women when it comes to housework, my dh is actually far more efficient than I am.

If I had seen your status I probably would not have commented and if I had commented I would have made a comment about men being just as capable etc. I think the Aunt was being unreasonable but everyone has different ideas about what is acceptable to post on a social media site.

My mum and mil just don't get social media at all. My mil thinks it is basically a dating site and thinks that I shouldn't be allowed to be on there without dh . My mum thinks it is similar to yellow pages and has asked me to look up random info about her neighbours. .

[Leonas]

Don't worry about it - she didn't like it, tough. Your DP thought it was funny so don't feel you have to defend it to his aunt or anyone else. It wasn't offensive or particularly derogatory, and I hardly think it was on a par with out-and-out sexism. It's not really divulging your innermost secrets either - I've seen a lot worse regarding other peoples relationships on FB!

[LEMmingaround]

My dd does this, passive aggressive bloody jibes at her DP on facebook - and yep, it doesn't make her look good.

[Pagwatch]

My fb and his wife post oh so funny snipes at each other. Often about who has not made the tea. She also posts a lot of things she has cooked. He posts lots of photos of things he appears to be about to eat.
It's like terry and June got a Facebook page.
It's baffling.
I hope the 'gosh, silly old men just can't manage housework, the poor loves' ends before much longer.

[mistermakersgloopyglue]

The responses on all sides of this thread are batshit crazy to be honest!

[rookiemater]

I really like what Composhat said :

A handy tip would be to not play out your relationship through Facebook if you don't want public comment on it.

YABU - if you post derogatory stuff about your DH on Facebook, even if it's meant to be in a jolly, ho ho aren't I funny way, it's nice that at least his aunt sticks up for him.

[flowery]

Not sure what I said that made you think I wanted to start an argument, I can assure you that's not the case.

If you can't see the correlation between the OPs comments on Facebook and my post I obviously didn't explain enough. While the OPs comment was undoubtedly meant in a lighthearted way, it was stereotyping. People who suggest that stereotyping based on gender is unacceptable sexism are being told it's only lighthearted and that they need to get a sense of humour.

My point was that I think a couple of decades ago or so, people challenging "lighthearted" stereotyping on racial grounds (which virtually no one would consider acceptable or amusing these days) might have received a similar reaction. Hopefully, in years to come, gender stereotyping will be equally unacceptable.

I took from your post that you didn't think my comparison was valid, and I took a guess as to a couple of reasons I could think of why that might be.

Perhaps I misunderstood but I didn't have a lot to go on! If you think my comparison is not valid, that's fine and I would be interested to hear your reasoning.

Not sure I understand why you're sorry I saw something sinister, or where you think I saw something sinister -I can assure you I didn't. I just find it easier to discuss things with people if they are able to articulate that they disagree with me and explain why.

[Mishmashfamily]

flowery do you really want to start a racism argument on a thread which has no correlation to it what's so ever?

I feel sorry that you see something sinister when there truly isn't.

[TamerB]

It is a control thing and not possible. You post a comment and people are free to respond - not all will respond the way you wish.

[flowery]

"racist - bingo"

Er..interesting argument. Difficult to interpret though.

I'm assuming you disagree with my comment, which is fine, however from your remark I'm not sure whether you a) think sexism is less serious than racism or b) think people never used to make "lighthearted" comments stereotyping people of a particular race.

Either point of view perfectly valid. Perhaps you could clarify which it is, and I'd be happy to discuss it with you.

[DownstairsMixUp]

This is why I have a fake name so no one can search me and only have about 20 people on there who have the same humour as me. I'd actually delete her! Hate people who read too much into a bloody status.

[JessePinkmanIsMine]

If you post things publicly, people will comment. They will sometimes comment with things you don't necessarily like or agree with. You might find out what people really think of you. That's the nature of the shite that is facebook.

Yabu to expect everyone to keep their mouths (or fingers I suppose) shut on a website that encourages people to gob off.

[LessMissAbs]

YANBU some of these women sound very "surrendered". What is wrong with your comment? Unless you live in some strict religious sect where duties between the spouses are strictly regulated!

[WillSingForCake]

If a man had written something like "my wife scraped the car today. Women!" then I expect you'd be rightly offended by the gender stereotyping. It works both ways.

[Mishmashfamily]

racist - bingo

[flowery]

I expect people used to be "lightheartedly" racist as well. I expect people who challenged that used to be told to get a sense of humour as well.

[SomethingkindaOod]

Your first mistake was to mention FB on here, your second was to allude to the fact that you do anything related to housework!
This means that you have no life and have come here directly from 1955 according to the rules of AIBU. Under no circumstances does this mean that you were having a joke with friends without any spiteful intent towards your partner on a well known social media site until a PO faced individual took the hump and showed themselves up to be humourless on your status.
People, I would imagine that if the OP was after a critique of her relationship she would have posted in the appropriate relationship section....
YANBU, I would block her in your situation.