To think lying about not being biological father is really scraping the bottom of the barrel?

[MeepMeepVrooooom]

ExH has no contact with DD. Has thus far never paid a penny towards her (she is 2.5)

I put in a claim with CMS and he has now told CMS that he isn't her biological father. He bloody well knows she is his daughter.

Due to the fact that we were married at the time DD was born and he is on her birth certificate they are not taking his claim seriously and will continue with their case. Apparently this is quite a frequent way NRP try to get out of paying child maintenance.

This really is pretty low isn't it? Regardless of the fact CMS aren't taking it seriously I still want to smoosh his face. It isn't about the money, it isn't even about him implying that I was sleeping with someone else. It's the bloody fact that he really cares so little about our daughter he is willing to lie about that, and for what? To not part with a precious penny?

[MeepMeepVrooooom]

Caitlin It's in order to keep the same number so ExH messages still come through without actually coming to the phone I use I'm confusing myself already.

[Caitlin17]

OP transferring numbers may make their heads spin in customer services what you could do is ask them for a new number for the contract. You can legitimately say you're getting nuisance calls then buy the payg.

[MeepMeepVrooooom]

RandomMess that isn't a bad idea, do you know if it's possible to transfer a number from a contract to payg sim and get a new number for my contract?

I obviously don't want to pay a contract for a sim I won't use.

[sashh]

My cousin did this.

It cost him £400 for a DNA test that told him what he already knew.

[RandomMess]

I'd be tempted to get a new sim and phone and keep that one going - just turn the sound off and let put a noose around his neck of him wasting money texting and phoning you when you don't even read/Check them

[Fluffycloudland77]

You can report him to the police for that one text message you know. We did it.

[BrunoBrookesDinedAlone]

Just hold the thought that this morning he is faced with the stone-cold fact that HE is the needy, hysterical one sending all the screechy texts and YOU... err, clearly don't give a shit. No matter what he tried to tell himself, each text he sent has only underlined for him just how much you don't give that shit. This morning, he is going to be feeling grim. and furious. And utterly powerless. Hahaha.

[balia]

Well, I suppose you could use the phone call count as a measure of how close you are getting to some actual cash for DD, as it must be a sign of his desperation. What a total shit. Definitely continue the claim; you can think about his pathetic text messages when you are having a few little treats with DD on his money.

[ROARmeow]

You and your lovely DC deserve better than that drip of a 'man'.

Sending you and a hug for your DD.

[MeepMeepVrooooom]

Do you need to be in contact with this man at all ? I would change your number and go total no contact with him.

I was going to change my number but not until my contract is up. Once contact had stopped I was advised to keep my same number for a few months to collect any evidence of abusive behaviour. I rang my mobile phone provider and they said it could take up to 7 days to do and my original phone number would be cut off during that time, so I figured it was easier just to wait.

I am considering doing it a bit sooner as I switched my phone on this morning to 12 messages 12 even though he never got one reply.

[LaurieFairyCake]

"Yes it constantly amazes me how your teeny, tiny penis and inept, laughable sex drive created this precious child. I will be saving your text message to show her when she gets older as obviously it won't ever be appropriate for you to see her ".

#couldnt resist

[Anniegetyourgun]

Gosh, you can't back out now, he will tell everyone that he always knew it wasn't his child and the fact that you didn't pursue the claim proves it!

[Oldraver]

OP... Do you need to be in contact with this man at all ? I would change your number and go total no contact with him.

He can tell CSM a many times as he wants that he isnt the father but they wont take any notice (unless he pushes for a DNA test which he would have to pay for when its confirmed he is the father)

[MeepMeepVrooooom]

I have several police reports from when we were together and immediately after. I also have every text message sent between us. I have always been very careful about what I have written in case I ever need to use them.

It's frustrating that even when away from someone they still try to control you, he doesn't care for our daughter one jot but see's fit to attempt at using her as a way of manipulating me, it doesn't work anymore because I do tend to not respond however it is only since finding MN and having alternative ways to vent that I have managed this. I was always able to ignore messages and phone calls up to a certain point. They always get progressively worse when I don't reply, I think because the lack of control infuriates him. I am now at a point that I can ignore them entirely and don't feel the need to post for advice about it anymore but tonight's one really hit a nerve.

He is a horrible drunk of a man and I truly hope he one day crawls back under the stone he emerged from.

Thanks for your replies

[Dinnaeknowshitfromclay]

Keep those texts for a rainy day, Meep!

[Purplepoodle]

I would tell him if he continues abusive calls and texts that you are passing them on to the police and recording all calls to your phone.

[IneedAsockamnesty]

Yes you do that's how we knew they had sent other people

[puntasticusername]

You're doing the right thing to be venting about this on mn rather than replying to his texts. He sounds like a nasty piece of work. Keep ignoring him while pursuing the money he owes for your DD. to you.

[MeepMeepVrooooom]

He know's she is is and would not go for a private test. And quite frankly I am not paying for one to be told what we both already know.

If he requests one then that's fine, I have nothing to hide. Can't believe people have sent other people what proper scumbags.

[mumandboys123]

We were married and my ex was on the birth certificate - I'll never know what he told them but there was a demand for a DNA test. Very annoying - he was the one having the affairs, not me!

I would personally do the DNA test regardless if offered - it puts a stop to any kind of doubt, real or made up.

sockpixie they can send someone else but they have to go with a photograph that is signed by the person taking the swabs as a 'true likeness'. In the event things don't go quite as planned, my understanding is that you get to see the photographs.

[RandomMess]

If they go down the DNA paternity test it is proved that they are the bio dad then the cost is added to their maintenance bill!

[MeepMeepVrooooom]

There is no DNA test to be done. The fact that we were married and he is on DDs birth certificate is apparently enough proof.

I suppose he maybe could appeal against it or something but not sure if it's even possible. I have never looked into this side of the system.

The way things are doesn't bother me in the slightest, what bothers me is messages like the one he sent which are so nasty about my child. For that I could kill him, I won't obviously but feel like I could right now.

I know I'll calm down in a day or two.

[IneedAsockamnesty]

I have several clients whose ex's sent other people to the appointment!

[MeepMeepVrooooom]

Perhaps one day he will get syphilis and not get it treated

I can hope.

[mumandboys123]

My ex did this. When it came down to it, he didn't go ahead with the DNA testing. I couldn't tell you why but I would hazard a guess it's because he realised that paying to find out something he already knew was pretty pointless. He likes to hang on to his money!

I wouldn't close your case. You have nothing to hide. Go through with a DNA test and then sit back whilst they collect direct from his wages (assuming he's not self employed - my ex is so we've never had a penny) and just smile to yourself every time you get your bank statement. They're scum. Pure scum and don't deserve beautiful, healthy children.

I was very angry aobut this for a long, long time. Don't let it bother you. It's very much his problem, not yours. Laugh at him and move on from it. (And keep those texts, they may help you show your little one exactly what dad was like in the years to come). Good luck!