to refuse to answer job interview questions relating to childcare?

[UnexpectedlySingle]

I'm a single parent trying to get back to work after 7 years as a SAHM, but in virtually every job interview I've had I've been grilled about what childcare provision I would have in place if I got the job, even asked about my marital status, ages and number of my children! I am fairly sure they are not allowed to ask this (would they ask a man??). I have
not had any job offers yet and I am wondering if refusing to answer these questions would work in my favour or not. Opinions please?

[glasgowsteven]

A friend of mine put on her CV

Assistant manager at Comet

to explain the last 10 years on her CV

Closed down, no way of checking.....

[SirChenjin]

Really - your company assess candidates on whether they say at interview they have childcare?? Bloody hell - we could be lynched for that . We have to submit all our paperwork to HR post interview showing exactly how the candidates have matched the pre-defined criteria - and having childcare in place isn't one of them.

[LaGuardia]

In the job I have now, which I got last year, they didn't ask me about the DCs at all. I was up against 30 others, male and female, and one of the oldest. I was the last to be interviewed, and, at the end, I turned back to them and said "I have childcare all sorted, I will work hard and won't give you any trouble"! I got the job, and my boss has recently said that my little speech at the end got me it.

[SirChenjin]

Men do get asked this question - DH has been asked (he returned the interest in the interviewee's childcare arrangements and they both realised at that point they would never work together), and there was a similar thread recently where other posters reported that their DH/Ps had also been asked the same question.

All you can do is say that you will put arrangements in place, and leave it at that.

[whatever5]

I agree that it is unlikely that they would ask most men the same question.However (and I might get flamed for this)...if you had been offered any of those jobs with an immediate start,then you wouldn't have been able to take it.Thus putting the prospective employer right back at square one re : recruiting.

People can't usually start a job straight away anyway though can they? Most people have to give at least a months notice. I have to give three months.

[whatever5]

If they ask about childcare it would suggest that they are going to consider your answer when deciding whether or not to give you the job. As they aren't allowed to do that, I would just lie and say that it is covered.

[HildaOgden]

You could get an au-pair,maybe?

I agree that it is unlikely that they would ask most men the same question.However (and I might get flamed for this)...if you had been offered any of those jobs with an immediate start,then you wouldn't have been able to take it.Thus putting the prospective employer right back at square one re : recruiting.

I'm guessing that prospective employers are seeing that this is your first time back in the workplace after being the main carer for your children.They know that you will need to arrange childcare for the first time (and all that entails).I think that if you had previously been employed elsewhere full time then this issue wouldn't be ringing any alarm bells with them,if you know what I mean?They would know that you have previously managed to juggle both roles successfully.

I think if a man's CV had him as being the full time carer then he would probably raise the same query in their minds too.

[nobeer]

A woman I worked with back in the 90s was asked a similar question. She asked the interview panel if they had asked the same question to the male candidates, and proceeded to give them a lecture! She got the job. I'd love you to do the same, but the job market is a very different place nowadays and it seems companies can get away with more than they used to.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

it is illegal and discriminatory to ask you if you have children/plan to etc

i am a nanny and the odd interview i have been asked if i have children - i say no - they have then asked if i want them/plan to have them etc

this is against the law - they wouldnt ever ask a man that!!!!


problem is, if you tell them its illegal, they think you are arsey likely to not get the job anyway :(

the last time i replied that no i didnt and unlikely to have any as cant (which is sadly true, or i would have hopefully 1 or 2 dc and be a mum) :( they then dont know what to say

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

anyway in ops case, the reply at the beg of thread is good- that if you get the job you have got childcare sorted and have a supportive family :)

[MsPickle]

But they aren't asked about protected characteristics if you've already had the "so, tell us about what you've been up to for the last 7 years" conversation. It's different if the interviewer says "so, married? Children?" In my case I was made redundant on maternity leave. I saw no reason to hide that as I work in a field where having been 'dormant' for 12 months is easily find-out-able. No interviewer said "so, how are you going to juggle kids and working", it was me saying "I want to look at part time roles only and I'll can do early starts but need to leave at x" and it being pretty bloody obvious why! Outside of formal, structured interviews which don't tend to happen with SMEs or mid sized businesses there's always an element of the 'personal'. Of course you choose what you give up about yourself but anyone I was interviewing who resorted to monosyllables or aggression if they felt a question was badly phrased or whatever would be out of the running. Interviewers are humans. Conversations develop. And as long as the decisions are made on the basis of competence the conversation can flow. And to be honest if it's not flowing and it's your potential boss you're talking to, do you want the job anyway? Your example of the "how would you get here for 9" may not have been a challenge to you, it may have been the interviewer responding off the cuff thinking "but I'm sure X says she can't be here until 9.15, how come?" I think it's easy to assume that your interviewer is working to a perfect script. We know that interviewees aren't so why assume they are?

Oh, and as a recruiter I'd want to feel you had a plan. Don't need to know the details just confidence that if offered you could say "yes, I can start in X time."

I wish you every success with your search. To be getting to interviews is excellent and the right role will come. Keep on swimming!

[missymayhemsmum]

I have been asked this at interviews- I smiled, looked surprised, and said "I don't think you're supposed to ask that at interview these days, but I have childcare organised, and enough family backup to deal with emergencies" It seemed to work, they were falling over themselves to tell me about their family friendly policies....

[MidniteScribbler]

Most interviews I've done say something along the lines of 'do you have any commitments that would preclude you from being able to work the hours we require?' rather than asking about family. You can then answer 'no' or 'yes' as appropriate. I've been an interview panel where one man was training for the Olympics and wouldn't stay past 4pm so he could go training. Others have been enrolled in courses and would need to have left by 5pm (for example) to get to their classes.

[scantilymad]

Those dates are necessary but DOB is not. Although you are right. Blame Brussels for another rather patchy directive!

I think its to stop instant judgements based on age with DOB clearly shown. To be frank, if any prospective employer is taking the time to go through your CV that carefully then they have probably decided you are a candidate they want to consider, regardless of age.

[UnexpectedlySingle]

I don't have DOB on mine but someone made the point that my age could be worked out by looking at dates of employment and education, but surely you would need these on a CV?

[scantilymad]

The Equality Act prohibits questions like these. CVs are no longer required to have DOB on and it is actively discouraged.

[UnexpectedlySingle]

Ooo good stuff helpyourself

[Helpyourself]

"I've got a lot of support and I'm well organised..."
Follow up with an example from your work life where you had to juggle two conflicting demand, eg. "I instigated a change to a rolling schedule for team meetings so all off site staff kept in touch."

[Pregnantberry]

Asking about marital status would definitely piss me off. There's no reason to ask that other than to try and judge you.

From the gov.uk website:

"You must not ask candidates about protected characteristics and:

their health
if they’re married, single or in a civil partnership
if they have children or plan to have children"

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

Ok, you are giving too much detail. One person will know something about one of your options and will pick a hole in it just because they can (a la holiday club woman - who in fact wasn't being unreasonable as she may have requested flexible work to be in at that time etc).

Just stick with, "I have made suitable childcare arrangements to fulfil XYZ hours" - however, if you actually DO need some flexibility then this will have to come up at some point - for example "my preference would be to do longer days Monday and Friday and a slightly shorter day Tuesday - Thursday but if this is not possible with the business needs I can make alternative arrangements"

[MinesAPintOfTea]

I have in the past got a job after smiling and answering a question with "I don't think that question is legal." But the job was the sort where an ability to stand up for your own opinions was considered valuable.

[UnexpectedlySingle]

I do think it can be a good gauge for finding out how family friendly they are though? The last one asked how I'd manage to be at my desk for 9am every morning as holiday clubs round here don't start till 9am. I called them back the following week and was told the woman who interviewed me wasn't in yet as she doesn't come in till 9.15am as she has a child!! That REALLY pissed me off.

[UnexpectedlySingle]

At the moment I'm being very honest (probably too honest) saying there are out of school clubs, holiday clubs, childminders and their dad is around (even tho he lives 50 miles away and only has them weekends!!)

[FudgefaceMcZ]

YANBU and it is in fact illegal, but that doesn't stop them as realistically who's going to bother with a tribunal over it, with all the expense and stress just to be told they shouldn't have done it but aren't liable for any expenses as you might not have got the job anyway. However, you should feel free to say 'I don't believe my childcare arrangements have any bearing on my ability to perform this role' and if they press it further then tell them that the line of questioning is illegal, because tbh at that point they are probably not going to give you a job anyway. I got this a few times before getting current post and it really put me off ever working for those employers even if they offered me something great in the future, as it gives the impression of being a 1950s work culture without respect for modern equality standards (you can bet they don't ask dads about childcare- my ex never was!) Current job is great, has a high % of women working there and generally a great culture wrt family and life balance, and most people working there are very happy as a result. It's an employers market at the minute but it won't always be and they're doing themselves damage losing out on your skills through their prejudice!

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

I think it's legally ok to ask but even if it's not - what OP wants is a job, not a tribunal case, so practical ways to handle the question as several have suggested seem the most helpful.

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

What are you currently saying in reply?