My friend and I were at a local mother and toddler group this morning and we were having a private conversation regarding her on going situation with her partner. Don't want to go in to details but the basics, he works away a lot. Doesn't contribute much in the way of finances (apart from rent), emotional support, practical support even when he is home.
My friend started to get a little upset and I was aware that 2 women were able to overhear the conversation and suggested leaving and her coming to mine for a coffee to talk properly. She agreed and then said sometimes I feel like I'm a single parent, and it's tough.
Well woah did these women not rip her to shreds. She was already upset and they didn't pull any punches saying, she has no idea how hard it is to be a single parent and the long and short was man up and she was selfish. I told my friend to get her son and I would meet her outside.
I politely suggested that the women should keep their nose out of a conversation they overheard and were not directly involved in and that actually they were unaware of the full circumstances therefore really should not comment.
I am not for one second saying the two situations are the same there are obvious differences but she was just saying that was how she sometimes felt. I also don't think single parents have an easy time of it, neither to people in my friends position or even people in stable loving family's. We all have problems, I know not all single parents have this attitude but this isn't the first time I have came across women/men with this attitude.
This isn't so much as a AIBU as it is a bit of a whinge and wondering others opinions...?
AIBU?
To think these single parents don't hold the monopoly on difficult parenting...
MeepMeepVrooooom · 06/01/2014 20:59
sock really? Thanks!
Just waiting for the day ds and friends discover Bad Bob and think it's a light saber...
invicta & Andro That was exactly what she meant. I just don't understand why this is so offensive to a lot of single parents, I am one and it really doesn't bother me.
When it comes to people who's partners work Mon-Fri for example 8-8 and are home at the weekend and really pitch in pulling their weight within the family I can see why the comparison would come across as insulting and naive to some but this is a completely different situation.
Plus it was none of their bloody business. Poor woman doesn't want to come back to the group now I will drag her kicking and screaming 
OP my DCs spend more time with my DM than their a DF. She's always been (mostly) very helpful to me. Having been in that place herself she knows how hard it is. She recently fell very seriously ill and spent a long time in hospital. The battle trying to get the Ex to have them even for one evening in the Holidays so I could visit her for 30minutes was tough. Even offered to take them to his one night and he was 'busy' 
I can see where some people think they get child free weekend's from though. I can think of two SP friends off hand who either goes off with GM or the Ex practically every other week. I just don't think people should generalise that all SPs have such support readily available because they dont. I can see why a lot of people who basically do most of the work can see themselves as feeling like a SP. I can also see the view from the others that it isn't really as they have some relief for want of a better word coming. There's not usually someone on their way home to us/will be home at the weekend so we can 'clock off' in a sense neither.
A lot of the time lps find it very difficult having to deal with a hostile ex on a weekly basis, and having to deal with the emotional side wrt the impact on dcs. There's a lot more to it than the practical 'weekend off' it's the emotional burden that's so draining imo.
Of course being married to a useless/abusive etc partner isn't better 
but single parenting is a tough job in the long term. Also sadly there still seems to be a stigma to deal with/prejudice etc, at least where I live
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