Yesterday I attended a Fox hunt with my DPs family.
I have been vegetarian for 25 years. I work in conservation, and feel very strongly about animal rights. I'm a country girl, so I appreciate that sometimes predator control is necessary, but I HATE the idea of it being a sport. In my experience the real sheep farmers just go out and deal with foxes, they don't get dressed up in fancy clothes and toot horns all day. I used to hear the hunt go past my house as a child, I would stand in the garden and scream at them when I heard the horns. Suffice to say, I have strong feelings about this...
I'm also a working class socialist and feel a slightly disporportionate inverse snobbery against the whole fucking tally-ho red coated brigade. It just makes my blood run cold.
I've always been aware that DPs family are into fox hunting, it's been a subject we agree to disagree on, I would never discuss it with them - I respect their feelings and that's fine. DP however, is a bigger animal lover than I am. I always assumed he felt the same way I did.
Until yesterday. DP had arranged for us to join his family to follow the hunt. We discussed it weeks ago and I said I wasn't happy with it and didn't want to go. He said that was fine, and we would make arrangements to meet them afterwards for dinner. Fast forward to Christmas eve - I asked DP what the arrangements were for Boxing day and he told me we were meeting them first thing to follow the hunt. I went ballistic - I felt that he had totally disregarded our previous conversation and had no respect whatsoever for my feelings. His solution was that I could "Just sit in the house on your own while we go out" and that would be fine...
I was now in a position of being damned if I did and damned if I didn't - I could sit at home and look like a stroppy cow, or I could suck it up and go for the sake of being a good girlfriend.
I chose to go. I thought I shouldn't judge until I've seen it for myself. Fucking hell it was hard - as the riders rode out, all 70 of them I burts into tears and had to hide myself. I'm a pretty emotional person and it just overwhelmed me. It was just so alien to me to be standing there while everyone was cheering them off to go and chase foxes...
We then followed the hunt, and to be fair they didn't actually do anything bad, they were just out for a nice ride. I get that, I really do. But I'm also mortally afraid of horses - fucking terrified of the bastard things. My dog is quite frail, and he's not as quick on his feet as he used to be. MiL grabbed him and paraded him past all the massive horses and I was terrified that he might get kicked or trampled on.
We placed ourselves right in the path of the hunt and stood by as they all thundered past us. I was friggin terrified for myself and my dog. (and I admit it, I was judging all the people as well, they're just so not my type of people). MiL and family had no idea of my real feelings, they thought I was enjoying myself.
So far, so good daughter-in-law, right?. I was proud of myself for going through that for the sake of my DP and to make his DM happy.
But he didn't acknowledge this. He said a weak "thank you for coming" on the way home, but that was all. I sat and brooded all night, then exploded with him that he ought to have been bloody grateful that I went through that for him, that I fucking cried and was terrified and not once did he ask me if I was ok. He should have apologized, told me he loved me for doing that for him, told me how grateful he was. Instead I got a half-arsed "Oh but I said thank you..." and that was all.
This morning he has said all the right things, but AIBU to expect a bit more gratitude and praise?!?!
I don't want this to be a debate about fox hunting - there are other threads for that, and I really don't care what other people do. I'm just pissed off with DP (again) for his selfish attitude and need someone to tell me if I'm right or whether I should get over myself!!!
AIBU?
AIBU to expect a girlfriend medal for attending a Fox Hunt with DPs family?!
CosyTeaBags · 27/12/2013 13:13
Although I may have to compromise my principles of not looking at other people's Schlongs if I did go and follow that particular hunt!!! 
I'm sure DP wouldn't mind though...
And your dog had to swim for its life during the hunt itself? Err, nope, never said that. I was giving you an example of why I was afraid of horses. Wow some people's ability to actually read what I've actually written is pretty limited isn't it?
As for referring to them as MiL etc, no - that was just for the purpose of this thread as it's far easier to write 'MiL' than 'My boyfriend's Mother' every time.
For the record I never refer to DP as 'Dear Partner' in RL either 
some things are just for shorthand.
Had visions of a giant penis being dragged all over rural Britain! Goodness me.... Now THAT would be worth going to see!!!!!
Is it Muffin.
. Had visions of a giant penis being dragged all over rural Britain!
Come on Mitchy! We need to know! What is Schlong hunting?
It's otherwise known as a hunt ball
Cosy we need to stick to the Schlong debate 
.
Come on Mitchy! We need to know! What is Schlong hunting?
I agree that people shouldn't have been so mean and that one poster certainly shouldn't have called you a cunt. However, as you've conceded, your title and OP was very provocotive and people reacted accordingly (your OP annoyed me tbh). I think most posters have calmed down now including you
I still think you should have stuck to your guns as you have strong views on hunting. I wouldn't not go hunting on Boxing Day because my partner's family object (as I know his brother does). But hey ho lesson learned about going against our gut feelings. I do agree with you that your partner should not have told you that it would be just seeing the hunt off when they intended to follow and I can see why you were pissed off about that. Personally I do not think it rude to refuse to do something that is against your principles and that you may be frightened by but maybe being pressured in to going says more about your partner and his family than anything. Couldn't you have driven to your partner's parents house after they had been out (I realise this is by the by now, really)?
We got my son to believe the Haggis myths until he was 14 and he is not stupid (just gullible like hos Mother). His paternal Grandfather roared with laughter when he was taken to look for their nests on the Cairngorms one Winter. 
Oh I bet his grandfather was SO chuffed with that!!! Brilliant!
LOVE that this thread is now about Haggis
For the record (as I'm sure the anti-veggie / anti-not-veggie-enough-I-bet-you-eat-fish brigade will shortly be here..) I don't eat Haggis (even if it were made out of schlong!) I'm vegetarian, I don't even eat fish 
, but DP only eats 'happy' meat.
Bless Mignonette I think you're not the only one that thought that Haggis roam around the scottish hills, Ive heard a few others confess to the same thing!
Peeking considering a Schlong is often used to mean 'Big' then a Haggis could use it as a substitute leg for the missing fourth leg. My Grandfather told me that they had three legs to make it easier to run around steep gradients . I believed him for more years that I am willing to admit.
Enjoy yer haggis then Cosy!
It might be useful to know that landowners have a legal responsibility for keeping livestock on their premises. So if the horses escaped on to land that wasn't theirs - you could follow that up.
I thought haggis was made out of wild schlongs? You know, one minute the schlongs are skipping happy and free across the moors, the next thing they've been taken down by a well-aimed shotgun and are being turned into a preserved meat product...
In that case, I'd happily buy Haggis, I'm all for a bit of free range, wild caught meat
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Peeking I know, the title is a tad evocative (I really didn't think about it when I wrote it!...I just thought of the event as a 'Fox hunt', as I assumed that was what they were still called. For the record, I also don't believe that girlfriend medals really exist in real life ;)
I had decided to ignore this thread, but then just couldn't help but defend myself against some of the jibes. I'm quite feisty and can't help myself sometimes. But you're right, I should quit while I'm ahead.
If you were on a track beside a field why did you and your dog end up in the field being surrounded by horses because the horses ran from the field and surrounded us on the track. There's no fence between the track and the field, it's open. There's a gate at the end of the track leading onto a bridge. The gate was open, and the horses crowded onto the bridge. So the only way for me to get past was to work my way through them, talking to them calmly. My dog took the sensible option and swam.
But once he got to the other side, they took up the chase again, he literally ran for his life. 
You know what would possibly help a bit? If the title of this thread was changed from "fox hunt" to the accurate "drag hunt". Then maybe people wouldn't worry quite so much about foxes being killed for sport. At least not in this context anyway.
Poor old Cosy, why not quit while you're ahead?
(If you were on a track beside a field why did you and your dog end up in the field being surrounded by horses... just for example...).
Have a happy new year and whatever you do, don't go to watch your prospective in-laws drag hunting tomorrow.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.