Earlier this year a local wannabe 'Queen Bee' decided to pick a fight with me over my role in a volunteer community project. After the weird phonecalls & nasty emails I resigned but did n't go into details with the wider group. The project is great and I did n't want to derail it with a personality thing.
The dust settled and I tried to patch it up by doing something for the group but got a direct mail from the 'leader' warning me off. I now avoid anything that the group do. In a small town this is tricky. I've also stopped meeting or discussing my life with friends who are close to her because I think that jealousy was a big factor in her outbursts.
So New Year is coming and as a family we've had an invite to a house party, today the host tells me if I arrive early I should be able to avoid the 'leader'. Small town political nightmare. The host is clearly in a tricky position. Do I:
Send family (our dds are friends) but I'll not go at all
Go early and leave early (DH once he's there will want to stay and there's a quiz planned so might be hard to leave)
Get verry, verrry drunk and cry in the kitchen?
Your thoughts please
AIBU?
was this a friendly tip off or an uninvite?
FestiveBlackBorderBinLiner · 18/12/2013 11:24
Thank you to everyone who chipped in on this thread - it all went well.
What helped:
re-reading thread before hand.
Got there earlyish, wore clothes I was comfortable in with expensive looking, but not really top & necklace.
Polished kids and even brushed their hair.
Had a beer when I arrived then quietly switched to non-alcoholic so I could drive escape at will
The one friend who knows the extent of the problem met up, got a beer down me then I moved around alternating between easy/hard people and took part in the quiz, talked to new people.
Timed exit perfectly, we left at a fairly natural break having enjoyed it all but before the pissed/couple negotation/bored kid zone.
The childfree that night Queen Bee turned up well after we'd gone to find the host desperately trying get a DD to sleep whilst the music was slightly to loud to talk with the occasional couple of women dancing to cheesy pop whilst the men talked surfing and drank beer.
So thank you, I'm making an effort to exchange chit-chat on the school run with those I see. Queen Bee has upset a couple of others recently and the project has n't quite taken off so possibly the whole thing will implode. Although curious I will be no where near if that happens and have a busy year ahead with work outside the local town so onwards and upwards.
Note: Made resolution to limit MN but this is just tidying up from 2013 
Cut out Christmas tree shapes in your knickers so that when you do your dump, you can leave little Christmas tree poos everywhere
right off to style and beauty to see if they can find me a sparkly jumpsuit with a rear trap door.
OP, you do know you have to do a live thread during the party, don't you? 
Go and have fun, we'll be here to support you.
Well done you!
This is real life not a desperate housewives series and in real life, people can't be that bitchy and rude and expect to get away with it.
You live in the same village so she's just going to have to accept that you'll bump into her every now and then.
I'll bet she's ridden roughshot over other peoples feelings too so a fair few of them at the party will be secretly gunning for you. Your confidence might even encourage others to stand up to her.
Don't shrink into a corner when she makes her grand entrance as she'll only make a huge point of ignoring you. (I've watched it happen so many times.) Approach her, wish her the best of the festive season and compliment her on her dress - she'll be forced to do the same. Then announce that you are having one last cocktail before heading off to meet with other friends. Make sure you insert a comment about all these social engagements you have to attend at this time of year.
Then get yourself another drink, kiss your husband and go back to the people you were talking to.
Use the time before she comes to make a number of contacts. Use every single social skill you have to get them on your side. Be on the charm offensive. Take an interest in what they have to say, ask lots of questions, compliment them, invite them over, etc, so that by the time she does turn up, you've already worked the room and will have no shortage of people to talk to.
As you leave, go back to those people, make a show of doing your goodbyes and remind them of any arrangement you've made to see them again. Thank the host for such a lovely time and leave with your arms draped around your lovely husband.
That is the way to put her in her place.
Now PM me the address so I can gatecrash
Nice dress -tick
Happy face - tick
Top Gear conversation topics - tick (means I can stand on the man side of the room)
Slurry gun - tick, pocket size
Happy Slappy Hand - tick, bling ring for bonus points.
I like the idea of the Mumsnet equivalent of a teenage house party being advertised and lots of random strangers turning up with scarves, Pom Bears, Fruit Shoots, etc saying 'No' and 'Did you mean to be so rude', cleaning the sink and the S & B ladies picking out an outfit for a good start the next morning.
Cheers everyone, I'm 40 not 14 and I refuse to be pushed around in my spare time I shall charm then fuck off when bored.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.