Ds (5) had a hard time settling into school last year, we had lots of issues regarding another child, this year, p2, the boys have been separated and we have had a fab year so far.
Yesterday afternoon the school head teacher called me to say that another parent had called the school, extremely angry & threatening, because ds had hit her ds on the bus.
I collected ds from the bus stop & the driver hadn't mentioned it, so I told her I would go speak to him,
Head teacher warned that the other mum was demanding my details, she was wanting to come to my house or come to the school for me in the morning.(!!) she had asked the head to pass her number over to me because obviously the school wouldn't give my details.
Anyway.. I spoke to ds who said he didn't hit the boy. (which I later found out he did).
I called the mum who was seething with rage, she said her ds had bruised eyes, a bump on his nose, a swollen ear/face and was covered in scratches. Ds had used him as a human punch bag and she was calling the police.
I was mortified and said I would go speak to ds again, also that the head was going to speak to the boys in the morning.
I done the homework & left to get dh from work - explained the situation to him in the car (ds in the back listening to everything the other mum had said)
Ds immediately admitted hitting, straight away 'I did it daddy, I hit him and I'm really sorry'. He told his dad that there was a game with dinosaurs which he was losing so he hit boy on the face once but only once.
I immediately called other mum, said I was so sorry and ds had admitted hitting her ds, he will be punished and apologise in the morning.
The mum had calmed down and thanked me for calling.
I still wrote a letter to the head to say ds had lied and I'm not sure what actually happened on the bus and asked her to call me when she had spoken to them.
So last night. Ds was in huge trouble. I spoke to him about it being okay to lose in games, he couldn't always win, and it was wrong to hit anyone at all.
He was put to bed after dinner & homework.
When my phone went this morning I was expecting the worst. Instead the head teacher was totally honest and explained that the other boy had no marks on him at all (no bruises/scratches/cuts) and that ds had hit him once (not like a human punch bag), and ds was also hit on the arm- the boys mum had gone way overboard called the bus company and asked them to ban ds from their busses, being threatening etc. She assured me that it was a 1 off incident between two 5 year olds and there was no chance anyone was being banned from busses/arrested by the police/killed - (the mum had said she would kill her ds if he had hit anyone).
It was all blown out of proportion.
I have already told ds he isn't going to football tomorrow, he isn't having any tv or ds time for a week.
Just noticed it is his friends birthday tomorrow, they are having a party. Other mum won't be there because it's a small outing with only a few of the boys. The other boy is new to the school so isn't friends with birthday boy.
Dh has stated that there is no way he will be attending the party. I'm not even 100% sure ds knows it is tomorrow as he hasn't mentioned it.
I know the venue is expensive per child and have a strict capacity. So admittedly I'm also worried about upsetting another mum by not showing up.
So really my question is, am I going overboard by not letting him attend the party?
Is it a punishment if he doesn't remember the party or should I tell him that today is df's birthday and he can't go? Or should I let him attend but remind him it was arranged before the bus incident?
This is the first major punishment ds has had and I've no older children, I honestly don't know.
Sorry for long post, I didn't want to miss anything and please don't be to hard on me if it's blindingly obvious he shouldn't attend.
AIBU?
Aibu to stop ds from going to a birthday party tomorrow.
PrammyMammy · 22/11/2013 18:41
5 year olds fight, it's not ideal and shouldn't go unpunished but it does happen. I would let him go to the party and, as he admitted that he hit the boy, I would lift the football ban.
As for the other mother...
When I read your OP I thought you were talking about teenagers and even then I thought the other mother was way overboard with her reaction.
Crikey, read the post and didn't realize you were talking about 5year olds - thought they were 11 or something by the amount of damage your Ds supposedly did
I think you should let him go to the party, the other mum totally over-reacted to what sounds like a childish scuffle (but still punishable as you have done).
I think that's a good idea prammy, with any luck it'll have gone right over his wee head but they do sometimes worry about the strangest things 
. If the other mother had been "normal" you'd probably never even have heard about this incident, it would've blew over before the kids ever went back into school the next morning.
Blimey the other mum was way ott by what the Hm said....I think I'd let him go as he has lost treats already....thank goodness the other mother won't be there! Five year olds banned from school busses
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