Wrong place but shit and piss and fckuty fcuk

[Mmmbacon]

Ds asking to use potty for poos, so we have potty about and I am happy to pop him on potty or toilet when her asks but usually he has finished when we get there,

So just few mins ago, ds who is just 2.1 asked for toilet, I took nappy off and popped him on potty, he sat for a minute but no results, I figured he might go again in a minute as he usually has a before bed poo, so I left him bare arsed,

he came to me to tell me he was doing poo instead of going the 3 feet to the potty, ended up pooing in floor and I stood on it not realising he was standing not squating so I didn't realise, so I begin clean up and he is still bare arsed and when I go to clean his bum, put nappy on, yep you guessed it he had pissd all over floor,

is there someone you can pay to tt little boys, had planned on tt at christmas but after the lsat 5 mins think I might just farm him out to someone else

Not when he was toilet training but when he was still in nappies, he went through a brief phase of sticking his hand down his nappy. I went to check on ds at bedtime and he was still awake. He handed me something and I realised a split second before I took it that it was a piece of shit he'd pulled from his nappy. Not my favourite present ever.

This is terrifying me!! (But bloody hilarious). Dd (just 2, not tt) did wee on DH this evening, I told him not to distract her with the iPhone when I was tying to coerce her into a nappy after her bath. Very very funny.

::howling with laughter::

DH thought I was ill when I reached "pissed on my pain au chocolat".

I can't think of any particularly remarkable pt incidents which means either (a) the worst is yet to come or (b) I am now immune.

I know this is evil, but the one about the dog eating it made me laugh. Poor bloody dog.

I was saying goodbye to a friend at our front door. DS, then 18m, came up behind me saying "boo, boo" in a slightly plaintive voice. I said "boo to you too, DS" and carried on talking. A little voice said "take, Mummy" and he put something in my hand. I held it, listened to my friend, then glanced down at the warm, soft thing in my hand.

Yep, he wasn't saying "boo" at all... And when I looked round, DS's nappy was hanging with one tab undone (no idea how his trousers came off, we were definitely not PT!) and he was looking ever so worried and saying "Mummy clean mess in dere", gesturing at the sitting room door.

I could hear my friend laughing all the way down the road.

Howling in laughter here, thank god I have never been "handed" a present like that,

Ok anyone else with stories to cheer us up?

This will completely out me but nvm.

DS (2.9) is recently tt but had a stomach bug a few weeks ago and had an unexpected last bout of diarrhoea.

'Twas a river of poo and no doubt, trailing down his legs and onto the floor below. As I went in to retrieve and rescue I noticed something moving in the shitty mess on the floor. Behold, it was a massive house spider. Poor thing had a very tricky time escaping that. I kept imagining it leaving little pooey footsteps behind it.

DS and I still laugh about it but then we have strange senses of humour I have reverted to making poo jokes.

piano- at least it was the dog who ate it.....

We are saving the story of 'who ate poo' for DS's 18th/ engagement/ first real girlfriend!

Thank heavens we are well beyond that sage.

My niece came up to me (aged 2 1/2 and potty trained), saying 'sorry, sorry, sorry' over and over. I asked her why she was sorry, and she pulled her hand from behind her back, covered in diarrhoea! I had to hoik her upstairs to the bathroom, stopping her from spreading shit along the way, plonked her in the shower and hosed her down. At which point I realised that, as her mum was moving house that day, the towels were packed and I had no clean or dry clothes for her!

Oh, and there's the time we found a poo at work (I work with small children!). Someone came down the corridor and asked if anyone had been to the toilet recently, as there was a poo in the corridor. On closer inspection, it was perfectly formed, and we could only assume that a child had had an accident and the poo had rolled out of their trouser leg on the way to the loo! We never did found out who it was.