to not be teaching my 2 year old phonics?

[nancerama]

It seems that competitive parenting is creeping into my social circle of what were, up until now, laid back lovely parents of toddlers.

DS is 2.5 and his friends are all of a similar age, give or take a few months. Of late, everyone seems to be dashing out and purchasing Jolly Phonics packs or similar, because, apparently, their DCs really, really want to read.

DS loves books and we read together for around 1 hour a day, but I just can't bring myself to start formal education. My heart says we should have lots of fun reading together and understanding books, but my head (and my fellow parents) tell me that it's important to give him a head start before he starts school.

Please, fellow mumsnetters. Reassure me that they are all bonkers.

[harryhausen]

OP you are totally doing the right thing.

I'm book mad (it's my job). We constantly had books around and read bedtime stories every night etc.

My dd is nearly 9 now. She's extremely good at literacy (teacher put at 3 years ahead last parents evening). However, she hadn't learnt even one letter of the alphabet before school. It never even occurred to me.

I did the same with my son. While he's doing ok, he's by no means exceptional. I'm glad I didn't do anything any earlier. At 6, he's comes home to 'play' and reading/writing/homework is the last thing he wants. I can't imagine how much more full he would find it if I'd been drilling him in phonics since toddlerhood!

Keep doing what you're doing. Your way is what's recommended.

[harryhausen]

*dull he would find it.

[harryhausen]

I've just read the "jolly panics" typo. Utterly brilliant. It will be called this from this moment on

[CloverkissSparklecheeks]

YANBU in spite of what people on MN say I know quite a few YR teachers who say there are very few children who can read before school and usually those who can would have been able to read regardless of parental help.

There are some children who are interested at that age but using work books etc is unnecessary IMO. DS1 desperately wanted to read at that age but DS2 did not even know all his lettersnwhen starting school, he was not interested so we did not try really.

[pianodoodle]

Theres also lots of research of how learning to read too early can limit childrens learning capacity of other things,in Steiner schools they dont even begin to learn to read or pick up a pencil til they are 7,yet by the time they are 11 they are further ahead in reading and writing than mainstream schooled peers

Although I agree about not bothering about these things at 2 years old, I have to say from my experience of working in a Steiner school it definitely wasn't the case that they were ahead of mainstream schools by any stretch... certainly not in academic terms anyway.

[CreamyCooler]

I agree with Cloverkiss, my DC just seemed to do it by themselves. They were very, very late talkers but seemed to be really interested in letters when they were toddlers. My health visitor and speech therapist both said don't encourage the letters, you have to learn things in a certain order but I just knew something was happening even though they could hardly speak when they would point out letters and words. It was only Portage that were supportive.

[nancerama]

I think my peers are most definitely suffering from the Jolly Panics.

[Retroformica]

Continue as you are. If aged 3 or 4 she shows interest in letters, then maybe introduce a few jolly phonics but dont go mad. Life is for fun and play. To be honest it will make no difference in the long term either - kids seem to move sets constantly ending up naturally where they should be by juniors. A massive phonics push early on is often more about the parents ego. Yes parental support is central to a child's general long term academic success but at the tender age of 2, letters shouldn't be on the cards.

[Retroformica]

I also haven't found Steiner kids to be ahead by secondary age.

[hopskipandthump]

Didn't do any early phonics with DS1. Pre-school did it when he was 4 and reception continued it. He's in Y1 and a free reader who reads chapter books to himself in bed at night.

DS2 is in reception and just beginning to read - he is getting it very fast. No early phonics for him either.

DD is 2. I don't plan to do anything early for her. She watches her brothers do it though so sometimes I suspect her of secretly learning to read in order to catch me out when I skip bits of the stupidly long bedtime story she's chosen.

When they're ready they just get it. No benefit from early introduction IMO.

[spiderlight]

I was reading at 2 1/2 so I felt as though DS ought to be as well but he wasn't even remotely interested so I left it and just went back to reading to him. Had a vague attempt with some phonics flash cards at about 3 1/2 but again he wasn't interested at all. He started school at 4 1/2 knowing a fair number of letters and able to read his name but not much else - now in Y2 he's merrily reading Y6 books. So no, there's no need whatsoever to push flash cards at 2 1/2! It would have put DS off, I think.

[SkinnybitchWannabe]

Yanbu. None of my 3 ds were taught any phonics at home.
They are all amazing readers..middle ds hates reading but reads well, if that makes sense!
Im surrounded by mums who cant stop going on about how wonderful their kids are at reading.
Once a super braggy one wrot eon Facebook how she didnt know what books to buy her 10year old ds because he has the 'brain of a 14year old' I wrote, well for a start give the 14 year old his brain back then buy a David Walliams book!

[Grittzio]

Bonkers, enjoy playing with your DS, read to him, do some numbers, but forget what everyone else is doing. Let the school take care of phonics. I was always led to believe if you don't teach phonics correctly when kids get to school teachers have to correct which can lead to confusion, they would much rather have a clean slate to work on. Support it once DS is at school. My DS who's 9 couldn't read or write and is now in top sets, he soon caught up and was a summer baby.

[bigbrick]

I've never done this & my kids who are older are strong readers. I think pressure is off putting

[Mim78]

They are all bonkers.

They will have to start doing phonics from scratch at school anyway (my dd has just started reception) and when they do they all pick it up quickly - it's a really good system IMO but no need for a "head start". I won't make any difference as far as I can see.

Much better to encourage a love of stories as you are doing.

If they "really really want to read" or are super bright they will probably start recognising words anyway, and definitely letters. They encourage them to recognise and write their names at nursery/preschool. My dd didn't start recognising much more than her name before school but I'm sure if she was really keen on reading she would have.

[pianodoodle]

Once a super braggy one wrot eon Facebook how she didnt know what books to buy her 10year old ds because he has the 'brain of a 14year old'

Lol from some of the 14 year olds I know I'd prefer to have the 10 year old one personally

[sparklysilversequins]

I never did phonics with my dc, seemed like ridiculously hard work and making things far more complicated than they needed to be. Made sure dc were surrounded by books and read to them every day. one free reader at age 8 the other level 9 at age 6 but that's by the schools reckoning I would say she is pretty much free reading now, age 7.

[Aquariusgirl86]

Nope I also have a 2.5 year old and am not doing this

[Crowler]

Once a super braggy one wrot eon Facebook how she didnt know what books to buy her 10year old ds because he has the 'brain of a 14year old'

And this is why I'm no longer on FB. I can't stand it. I find bragging just unbearable.

[harryhausen]

I'm toying with giving up on FB for this reason too. You wouldn't believe the pile of crap that someone wrote on there last week. I would repeat it, but would be scared it would out me.

[YouTheCat]

Oh go on. I could do with a laugh.

[nancerama]

PM it Harry. Please!

[Crowler]

Come on Harry Hausen.

Paraphrase, maybe?

[eightandthreequarters]

Four is very young to start phonics, I'd say five is better and six better still.

Two is so out there I won't even comment.

[harryhausen]

Well, parent had been into school for a delayed parents evening ('checked into' the school on fb!). The moment they came out the fb status appeared. Basically saying that the teacher had announced her dd was 'beyond awesome', had declared her 'a genius' and he wished that more pupils were exactly like her. It went on, was like an essay. 'Amazing' was used 10 times, stunning 4 times. Apparently all said by the teacher.

The girl's 10.

Of course, we were all desperate to know this. Cue comments from friends saying things like

"Awwww she's do special hun" (she's not)

"Well, she has an amazing mother" (she isn't)

Blah blah blah.