to think dh should swap cars with me now ds is here?

[pumpkinsoda]

We have one car each, mine a 3 door hatchback and quite low to the ground which I bought well before dcs were in the planning. He's got an estate which we bought after we discussed to ttc.
Whilst pg I mentioned we should swap cars when lo has arrived and he agreed.
Ds is now 7wks old born after emc so I'm still a bit tender and struggle to get him into the rear seat and strap his car seat in. He can't go into the front because the airbag can't be switched off. Furthermore we have a large GSD cross and physically I cannot get the baby in the car with the pram in the boot and the dog. He's too big to sit on the front seat and he can't sit next to baby whilst I drive as it's too dangerous if I have to suddenly brake and he might fall onto lo. I do have to take dog in car to go to the woods as walking would be too far.
Now I asked dh to swap cars with me as all he needs it for is going to work (20min drive) and he doesn't need the space whereas I do. He refused stating that he feels like he's sitting in a bathtub (wtf) whilst driving my car and I should just cope with it.
This morning he took his car to work knowing full well I have a GP appointmnent and I struggle getting the lo in my car because of the cs wound.
Aibu to think he's being selfish driving the big estate whilst I have to struggle with my little hatchback?

[LiegeAndLief]

Oh my god. Forget the car, he spent his paternity leave on the computer whilst you were in hospital with a cs scar and a new baby?!

He doesn't want anything to do with the baby now because it's too boring?!

What a massive, massive twat. This is absolutely not normal. I'm glad you got your car situation sorted for now, hope he stops being so twattish about everything else.

[cathpip]

Your husband is being unreasonable, you know it he knows it. I do believe he is doing this on purpose in possibly the stupid hope that you will rehome the dog. Apart from having a monumental new mum head fit at him, you may have to just put dog in boot (under 30 mins is fine in a small space) child in back seat and use a sling for dog walks. That or steal his car keys :)

[myBOYSareBONKERS]

A great result - well done !!

See how it goes for a couple of weeks as he may try and reclaim the car as your "scar is healed now".

[KatOD]

Yay! Step 1...

[hippo123]

Great news, I hope it lasts too.

[ADishBestEatenCold]

Well done, pumpkinsoda!!!

[livingzuid]

So glad to hear things are better :) very well done on getting the car!

[VoiceofRaisin]

Well done! Maybe he is simply taking a little time to adjust to being part of a family unit now rather than an individual grabbing what he can for himself. Let's hope it lasts!

[RandomMess]

Well done you, carry on playing hardball - after all if he won't change now he never will and in some ways the sooner you find out whether you have a future together the better!

[ThePitOfStupid]

Well done.

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

Hope it works out for you either way

[clam]

Well done.
View this as the first step on a long road to 'training' him how to be a decent human being husband and father. Call him on every piece of shitty behaviour (that's important to you) and stick to your guns, as you have here.
There are plenty of people on here who will help you see when he's being a twat, in case he's got you confused.

[Theodorous]

You sound really lovely, hope it all works out

[pumpkinsoda]

Wow, didn't think I'd get that much of a response.
First of all I won't get rid of dog. I have bought the guards that go into the boot for both cars to secure him in case of an accident. It's not his fault I made a bad choice in husband.
I've read quite a few posts regarding emotional abusive relationships and found a lot of similarities and feel quite stupid that I never really realised until I had lo.
We have had a chat last night and I told him I need the bigger car saying how my scar still gives me discomfort and its not really acceptable him having the big family car when he's on his own. It's not all about himself anymore after all.
To my amazement he accepted it and took mine earlier. I hope this lasts.
In the long term I really have to think hard whether I want to be with such a selfish tw@t.
Thanks for the input, you've opened my eyes.
In my mind

[Theodorous]

I hope the op is ok today.

[HazleNutt]

what was said above, ask him: DH, why is your 'feeling' about the car more important than my very real physical needs and risk of hurting myself in the smaller car?

I would really like to hear how he replies to that.

[ThreeFromDesire]

Did he take the smaller car today?

[SpottyDottie]

I too,would like to know if he has swapped cars. I feel so sad for the Op, her DH should be supporting her. I had a cs with DS and my DH was falling over himself to help me. He'd even lift me out of the bath and get up at night because the sleep deprivation was crippling me. Swapping a car seems such an easy thing to do, so why won't he?? The visiting in hospital thing speaks volumes though

[neunundneunzigluftballons]

He is being a total arse. 7 weeks after a section the last thing you need is to be getting a baby in and out of the back of a car when it is not necessary. My God is he always such an inconsiderate person.

[bellablot]

Wow how selfish, this sort of behaviour would make me feel sad. However, would it be easy to walk to the GP? And can your DH take dog for walks morning and evening when home from work?

[HissyFucker]

The car situation is what brought OP here, but changing the cars over, or buying another one won't help here.

This man is just godawful, he's even worse wrt the baby than my (abusive) ex, there are so many similarities there though.

I don't think this is a salvageable situation my love, i'm sorry, but I think he really has to go.

Remember that this is HIS decision to be so awful, so selfish and so utterly crap as a father. None of this is your fault, you can't change this, because it wasn't your choice or within your power to make him this way. It's not within your power to change him either.

[Charotte31]

Selfish selfish prick!!!! My god I can not believe what I'm reading! Tell him your driving the bigger car and that's that! If you don't like the other car get the bus!

[GhouldenGreen]

Keep the car keys in with the nappies. He'll never find them. You don't deserve this treatment, you really don't.

[Retroformica]

He is a man on his own driving a family car which you need for pram/3 bodies/horrible discomfort after c section. Very selfish man. I'm sure he is more than capable of driving a smaller car and would get used to it.

Say he either swaps or you will put smaller car up for sale this weekend and buy another estate car.

[brettgirl2]

The bit I'm struggling with is that surely the dog was a problem before the child arrived? I couldn't fit a dog in the boot of my car which I drive 2 children including one under 2 around in.

C-section scar aside I had a 3-door car when dd1 was little and no problem. dh also had a small car (which frequently broke down so I was better off).

That said he's being an arse.