to think this is too much homework for a three year old

[Waggamamma]

I've never posted in aibu before so getting ready to be told I might be unreasonable.

My ds just turned three and was moved into the preschool room at his private nursery which he attends two afternoons a week while I work.

Since moving up I feel they are setting too much 'homework.' In the last three weeks we've been asked to:

• Bring in an 'animal' (soft toy) for show and tell and learn 5 facts about that animal.
• Make a model that represents space and talk about it
• Carve a pumpkin for the halloween competition (and do a costume for the party). At three years old seriously?
• Learn two pages a4 of songs for the nativity in early dec.

Aibu in thinking this is a bit much for a preschooler who attends nursery ten hours per week? Or am I being a lazy parent? we do our own crafts/baking at home plus swimming lessons and trips out to see friends etc. It's hard to find the time for the nursery stuff too. We're struggling to fit it all in.

I was really happy with the toddler room the change to preschool seems the expect a lot overnight - learning the alphabet etc. He's moving to the preschool attached to our catchment school in January anyway so we can make use of the funded hours.

[3bunnies]

And I thought school was bad asking 6yr olds to build medieval villages! Ds does bring home reading books from nursery but that is only because he wants to amd we don't have enough variety at home. He has a home learning book which he can put things in that he does - e.g. a family trip and then tell the other children about but that is it. At his previous one he could bring a picture/collage in on their topic to go on the wall I he never bothered to do one. It isn't compulsory so I would just choose what you want to do. I probably would help with the Christmas lines, so he feels confident on stage, if he is going to the show, that is the sort of thing he might remember, other things I would quietly forget.

[midlandslurker]

autumnwinds - I appreciate that it isn't necessarily your point of view,but I wish EYF /Ofsted could actually grasp the fact that parents are paying for a childcare service and not lessons on how to play with their kids and aside from safeguarding issues its got absolutely nothing to do with the"hired help"how parents choose to spend their free time with their DC's.

So bloody what if they spend a day off watching Mr tumble on a loop whilst stuffing a greggs sausage roll down their gob !

I have a lovely child minder and I actually put it in writing (for Ofsted) that I didn't want any assessments/observations done whilst in her care.

As a working parent,my concern was for my DS to be happy and safe in her care, but I certainly would not be parting with my hard earned cash to be set "homework".

[sturdyoak]

Maryann it's the generalised blanket approach that is bad. Yes some parents may need extra support. However giving extra homework to 3 year olds will not solve this problem. Toy libraries, parent and child groups, library sessions with free book and toy give always would be much more popular and successful, IMO.

[LifeHuh]

Agree,midlands lurker - my DCs are older now but were in childcare just as childminders started to be assessed via Ofsted.
My Dcs were with their childminders for relatively short periods as I worked part time,and I didn't care what they did as long as the DCs were safe and happy.
We did plenty at home.
And DS was completely incomprehensible except to his family at 3 (and for some time after),so the talking about space would have been interesting...

[Lilacroses]

Sorry, haven't rtft but YANBU. A 3 year old having homework is ridiculous. What on earth are they trying to prove? Ok, send home a little letter telling everyone what is being planned for the term/week so that parents can talk about it with their child, even possibly a cd of songs to sing along to for FUN but that would be more than enough! This would completely turn me off a nursery.

[breatheslowly]

Making playdough at home? No thanks, that is part of what I send DD to nursery for. Same goes for most messy activities. Painting at home generally ends in tears because I won't let DD pour out the whole bottles of paint, then she slips over in a slick of paint on the floor and I have to get a crying child into the bath without getting paint on the carpet. I have little patience for playing with her on the floor, we might do a few jigsaw puzzles or play a game, but I have no desire for this to be imposed on me by the very nursery I pay to do it for me. Don't worry, DD has a good home learning environment (as well as nursery 5 days a week), it might not be the learning environment that an early years practitioner would design, but it seems to work for her.

[Tanith]

"Hired help"?! What an arrogant and condescending way to refer to a professional entrusted with the care of your child

[sturdyoak]

Tanith Yes, about as arrogant and condescending as assuming all parents do not know how to spend their time with their children in a meaningful way. Added to this, private nurseries and pre-schools do provide a service to the parents, as they are paying them.

[ConsideringTheFuture]

I wouldn't even call that homework tbh.

Learning a song, show and tell - both regular things my 3 and 5 year olds are asked to do. Crafty 'suggestions' also come home regularly and requests with ds2 to focus at home on a certain letter (jolly phonics).

Ds2 gets 2 sheets of homework on a Friday to complete. Things like 'copy these shapes', try to draw this letter, choose the odd ones out. It takes 15 minutes ish and he loves it.

[onlyfortonight]

...frankly I'd get the 3 yr old to make a Powerpoint presentation for the cuddly animal, make a working replica of the solar system...(remember that Pluto isn't a planet, just a massive meteorite). Carve a selection of winter veg for the 'complete' halloween experience and write a new carol for the nativity play (my 3 yr old agrees with me that old carols are just too retro).

...or I'd ignore all their competitive mother homework ideas.

Speak to the nursery manager...they have really overstepped the mark!

[LittleRobots]

Gosh how scary. Makes me so pleased looking back that our pre school focused on learning through play! I even chose a school that was very play based for reception (and yes, she's still managing to read basic phonics, count, simple add and take away etc all without homework or formal learning!)

[KitZacJak]

At that age it is basically homework for parents (as if you haven't got enough to do!).

[ConsideringTheFuture]

I struggle to understand some people's horror with 'homework' for young children.

Ds2 (3) spends 15 minutes at the weekend on his school homework. If I didn't TELL him it was 'homework' he wouldn't even realise we were doing anything different!

Honestly, what has happened to people interacting with their young children? Do you (general) not play with and draw/colour with your 3 year olds anyway? Do you not read with them, practice counting or shapes or sing songs? For the most part, things like this is what 3 year olds homework is.

Just because school is there, that doesn't mean you have to rely on them to teach your child everything

[LittleRobots]

I do tons and tons of things with my children. That's a bit of a false argument. Why on earth would a child need to be sent home with a worksheet with circles on when there's plenty of real circles you can talk about in the home.

As a teacher I really don't equate worksheets with teaching or learning at such a young age. Its busywork and generally not really advised! There's plenty of playbased activities that provide a lot of scope for learning.

I don't understand why you would think that parents need homework in order to interact with their children. What an odd thought. I'm glad my interactions with my children aren't restricted or limited by homework sent home. I'd honestly look at other pre schools or nursery as I wouldn't agree with their ethos.

[ConsideringTheFuture]

Little robots - I think you've missed my point.

For parents that do interact with their children anyway, the type of homework a 3 year old gets will usually be the same sort of stuff they do. So not much point in moaning about in on principle.

For those that don't bother with much - the 'homework' may be the only motivation they have to do something with the poor kid.

For those that really don't give a shit, nothing will be done regardless of any homework.

I don't see why it's a big deal. My 3 year old is really 'into' shapes ATM. I have numerous note pads and pieces of paper scattered around where he's spent time drawing and colouring in shapes anyway. Drawing a few more on a piece of paper sent by school is no different.

[sturdyoak]

ConsideringThatFuture If you really want to lessen social inequality then cover all the curriculum in school / pre-school. The children who have parents who can't or won't support homework will not be in so much in a position of educational disadvantage then.

[ConsideringTheFuture]

The full curriculum IS covered in school though. Without fail, in every Primary Year/school I've ever known.

Teachers ask parents to support learning. To practice at home. Is that really so unreasonable?

[sturdyoak]

Considering Asking is not unreasonable. Homework at 3 yrs old is. A little booklet of suggested activities is more than sufficient.

And since when is carving a Pumpkin an activity that a 3yr old can do? The parent undoubtedly will do most of this.

[sturdyoak]

Added to this the children with parents who don't or can't support will feel terribly left out by comparison.

[TeWiSavesTheDay]

A 3 year old is NOT at school.

They are 3, learning through play via child led activities. Homework of any kind isn't child led, because it's a set task to do by a set date whether the child is interested or not.

[Morloth]

I don't need instructions from daycare on how to interact with my child.

Raising a child, isn't actually rocket science, the vast majority of people know how to do it.

[ConsideringTheFuture]

So what age is acceptable then? 5? 8? 12?

Homework at some point is inevitable. Surely it's better to start early with the idea of homework so that it becomes a normal part of a child's school experience?

[sturdyoak]

When is acceptable? Secondary School. All the rest leave to the parents. Supply books for reading, curriculum maps so a parent knows what their child is learning. Parents can decide whether to do extra at home or not.

[sturdyoak]

We had no official homework in primary. We learnt timetables and spellings at home and could take our reading books home to read.

When I went to Secondary homework was a novelty in the beginning, it felt grown up. They eased us into it. They taught me to the end of A Levels and I went on to do a Degree, as many others did from our school.