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AIBU?

To speak to the teachers at Parents Evening tomorrow re challenging DS (5)

82 replies

PaddyMac76 · 20/10/2013 18:55

DS (5) is in Class 2 (Year 1). He flew through Reception and loves school. His Reception teacher was amazing, I really can't fault her at all.
However, since moving into Y1, the books he is being sent home with are as easy, if not easier than the end of Reception Class.
Every day he brought home a new book, every evening he read it with no trouble, and I made comments in his Reading Record stating this.

Yet he was not moved up to the next level until I wrote an note to the teacher suggesting this.

I was concerned that he is being overlooked and just has a teaching assistant read 4 pages a day with him. It's not on.
I want him racing through his level, and pushed instead of just plodding, as the teaching resources are too focused on those that can barely open a book.

Tomorrow is Parents Evening, how best should I suggest to the teacher that he needs a greater challenge?

I just want the best for my boy :)

AIBU?

OP posts:
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MissBetseyTrotwood · 21/10/2013 17:23

Brave OP for coming back to a thread you've had such a roasting on.

Go and ask for advice at the parents' evening. Access to the school library etc.

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judgejudithjudy · 21/10/2013 11:44

yabu & shouldnt rely solely on the school.

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LoopaDaLoopa · 21/10/2013 10:56

Shock never taken your child to the library?! Shock

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mrsjay · 21/10/2013 10:52

yes yabu and really quite mean about other little 5 yr olds, why is your son the most important one in class over the others he is being read with by a TA every day and yet you are still moaning
I understand you want him to learn but being able to read words off a page is only one aspect of reading he needs to be able to understand what he is reading read with him at home and let the teacher teach her class dont make a full of yourself on parents night by saying things like I want him to race through books,

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EmmelineGoulden · 21/10/2013 10:32

Of course you aren't being unreasonable to raise an issue with the teacher. But you are being unreasonable to raise it as a suggestion she challenge him more. Instead ask why he is getting the books he does, and what would be most helpful in supporting him. Tell her he's racing through them and ask what it is he's supposed to be working on, because at the moment he doesn't seem to be getting much from reading them at home.

And you aren't being unreasonable to think every child should be challenged, not just those who are struggling. But it may well be that is happening, you just aren't aware of what the school are working on with your child.

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paulagil · 21/10/2013 10:10

I'm on your side with this one OP. So what I do now is to get DS (age 6) to read at home and to just use his homework book as a necessary evil. It's stupid because I could read fluently at the age of 5 but had to sit through years of group reading with other kids who could barely read. I remember sitting at a table at the age of 10 where we had to read a paragraph each. I'd finished the whole page by the time one girl had read her first line. And yes, I HAD understood it, thank you.

How about getting your DS a load of comics to read by himself, with you giving help on difficult words? I used to work in children's publishing and quite frankly, all the editors just wanted kids (boys especially) to read - and to read anything. This is why graphic novels were invented, as a cross between a comic and a book.

In my experience, if a teacher has behaved in a certain way already then she won't change. So get your DS some fun books and let him enjoy them.

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Eggsiseggs · 21/10/2013 09:39

Am a teacher and I don't think YABU to raise this with the teacher.
However, YABU to expect everything to be the teacher's job.

It's not about raising these issues, it's about HOW a parent raises them. Putting in more challenging books that he is reading at home is a subtle idea, but definitely say 'he loves reading in school! How can we support him at home, because I think he is starting to find it a bit easy and I don't want him to get lazy/to stop challenging himself'

A good teacher likes to see an involved, supportive parent.

A word of advice about reading in general, though: if your son is an able reader, embed this as a hobby/lifestyle NOT as something you do in school that he is good at. I have seen so many kids plateau later because they can 'do it', but they don't view reading as something you do for pleasure or by yourself.

Good luck! Let us know his you get on!

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Balaboosta · 21/10/2013 09:36

Yuck. Horrible post. Talk about stealth boast. Just talk to the teacher. It's what parents evening is - er - for.

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3bunnies · 21/10/2013 09:29

Mine refused to read in the holidays, I highlighted to them that they might have to go down a level, they found that out and subsequent years they did practice. I wouldn't worry too much and as a pp said it is in your son's interest that the others catch up as in juniors reading is used more for other subjects so you don't want the teacher to be spending their time teaching them to read. Also from my observations some children read v early others take longer. My girls are now catching up and overtaking some of the early readers, ds is an early reader but he may well be overtaken.

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SatinSandals · 21/10/2013 08:37

Car boot sales and fetes are wonderful for picking up cheap books.
I would work on the reading for pleasure. There is no point in decoding and racing through the levels if it is just to say 'my DS is on purple band', much better to be lower and read with understanding and enjoyment. Aesop was very wise with the Tortoise and the Hare fable!

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UptheChimney · 21/10/2013 08:33

DS refused point blank to read through the holidays

So your DS reads for competition and "being top" rather than pleasure? Not good. He needs to slow down, and read for the sake of of it, not to be "racing through" to satisfy the ego of one of his parents.

And again, a bit Shock that you hadn't actually discussed this with your DS's other parent.

I do get sick of parents using their children as some kind of ego extension. Take some humility with you to the Parents' Evening.

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BrokenSunglasses · 21/10/2013 08:29

I don't know if that makes it worse!

You are complaining about the teacher not giving him hard enough books when you haven't even had a conversation with your co parent about what you are both doing to support your child's reading!

Libraries are not the only way to obtain cheap books anyway. I appreciate that many people might have difficulty accessing libraries, but you can use the book people, charity shops, share with friends, buy books on special offer at supermarkets. There are loads of options if reading is important to you.

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redskyatnight · 21/10/2013 08:28

This is a good site for children of your DS's age.
www.oxfordowl.co.uk

Do you read (more complicated) books to him at home? I always think this is great for helping a child improve their comprehension (particularly if he's reluctant to tackle books himself which it sounds like he is if he didn't want to read over the summer).

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CreatureRetorts · 21/10/2013 08:26

What about reading/library at the weekends? sorry for my YABU! Now makes more sense.

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JumpingJackSprat · 21/10/2013 08:22

Before you blame the school you need to look at your own actions - get him some books instead of leaving everything to the school.

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JustBecauseICan · 21/10/2013 08:20

So she can't get to a library.

Kindle daily free books?

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PaddyMac76 · 21/10/2013 08:20

DS doesn't live with me full time, I have him two or three nights a week. This is why I have never taken him to the library. I work full time.

3Bunnies no, DS refused point blank to read through the holidays.

His comprehension of the text he reads is spot on, he will tell me what he thinks is going to happen in the book, and reads with some expression now too.

I've spoken to EXP now, and he does have a library card, and goes there, and has a house full of books at home, he has an older brother and sister, his DSis is an avid reader, and EXP does read lots of stories of varying difficulty to all of the children together, discussing the text they don't understand.

Thanks for your advice, I will go into Parents Evening tonight with good advice

OP posts:
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dellybobs · 21/10/2013 08:18

babybythesea
Just because its not a 'decent explanation' in your eyes does not mean its not true. My mum would have to borrow lifts from friends/family while they did their shopping so she could get hers, this was once monthly so would she would be a while in the supermarket getting her shopping and then they would run her home.
I know a library trip to some seems like nothing and they could just 'pop' in and out and return books when they needed but it really isnt as accessible for some.
I remember another time when i did have a library card after my school trip and borrowed a book while i was there, we missed our weekly lift to town and a got a library book fine for returning it late the next week! So for some people the library is a luxury.

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UptheChimney · 21/10/2013 08:10

Im confused why people think its shocking that hes 5 and not been to the library

There may well be logistical reasons for not having gone to a library, but in the context of the OP appearing to be a pushy parent, who is dismissive of the teacher's and the TA's professional judgement, and of other children in the class, it seems very hypocritical. And entitled and lazy ...

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SatinSandals · 21/10/2013 08:05

I lived in a small village as a child and we had to get a bus to town. My mother had to get shopping, we had to eat! There was no shop in the village. We went to the library when we went to town. If she went without us she went for us.
OP hadn't even thought of a library, she said it was a good idea, which it is. It doesn't matter how many books you have at home it is wonderful to have the freedom to choose your own.

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AngelsWithSilverWings · 21/10/2013 08:00

I agree that racing through the levels is a bad thing.
My DS raced through the levels ( not pushed by us but by his own desire to compete with another advanced reader in his class)

He was classed as a free reader by the end of Y1 and we just let him read quietly to himself , occasionally checking his comprehension. This was the school's approach too.

He has just started in y3 at a new junior school which insists on every child reading out loud once a day and it has become very clear that he has absolutely no understanding of how to read punctuation.

So he can technically read any word and his phonic knowledge is great but he misses the subtle differences that punctuation make to a piece of writing.

This has also caused a problem with his own creative writing too.

My Y1 daughter is moving through the levels at a much slower pace and I'm pleased.

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northlight · 21/10/2013 07:48

YY to the above comment about simply decoding versus being able to understand and reflect on reading. Reading in school is about developing the higher reading skills like comprehension, prediction, character development, inference and understanding the writer's craft. Read and run won't achieve those skills. The children who do best at reading are those who read at home for enjoyment and have stories read to them regularly.

OP, there is a very strong reading/writing link and probably the class work you are dismissing is designed just as much to promote writing as reading. Also early readers go through stages. Early readers are developing their decoding skills. Practising readers are applying what they have learnt and becoming more fluent. Readers have internalised the skills required and can just read without consciously thinking about the process.

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babybythesea · 21/10/2013 07:46

I'm not sure that's a decent explanation dellybobs.

I live in a small village at least 15 minutes away from anywhere. There's no bus at all here. But we do go into the town (mainly because there isn't a village shop either). So it would be easy to tie in a trip to the library with a trip to pick up shopping. Unless her village also has a shop and a bank and a post office and the school, so that she never needs to leave it, a library visit is unlikely to be that hard to sort out.

I should admit that we don't go to the library either. Mainly because our house is so full of books that we read two or three stories a night to dd1 and we're not even close to a quarter of the way through them! I'm not at all a compulsive book buyer, oh no...!!

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dellybobs · 21/10/2013 07:35

Im confused why people think its shocking that hes 5 and not been to the library. Maybe the OP lives in a village and can't get there. I assumed she had a similar situation to when i was younger and we lived in a small village and the nearest library was a bus ride away. The library just wasnt an option , as we didnt have the money to go on the bus. I think i was in juniors before i first went to the library on a school trip. I relied on my books from the school, because they had all the books children needed there.

If i were you OP i would just politely ask the teacher if they were able to move him onto a higher level of books.

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PervCat · 21/10/2013 07:33

I think the op has gor the message !

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