to think this woman is trying to screw me?

[RevoltingPeasant]

Okay, so on the weekend I very stupidly reversed into someone's car in a parking lot. The bumper, or just above, was cracked. It was my fault, I felt dreadful as I would have been gutted if it had been my car. I left an apologetic message with my full name and phone number.

Two days passed and I heard nothing. Then I had a text to ask for my full name (?) and registration. I immediately rang back and chatted to the woman. At first, she was rather stiff ('I fail to understand how you hit me...').

Understandable, that. I apologised, signified I was happy to pay damages, but would also understand if she wanted to go through insurance. She would take the car to the garage and see what they said.

Two days after this, nothing. Tonight I texted as nicely as possible, and asked if she had heard, reiterating I was happy to try and make amends.

Her reply: 'My mechanic is concerned due to the age of the car and the fact that the whole back wing has to be replaced that the car is a write off'.

Me: 'Really?! It did not look that bad, but then I am no mechanic. I take it you'd prefer to go the insurance route.'

Her: 'I will decide overnight as I will be out of pocket. I have to decide whether to let u get away with hitting me. I may ask to see the camera footage from XXX car park.'

Now, I felt terrible at first and would happily have paid any halfway reasonable repair bill. I said so several times. But I feel like she is upping the ante and kind of.... playing with me.

For some reason that text has really fucked me off and I am minded to go straight to the insurers myself and accept losing my no claims bonus. AIBU?

[forumdonkey]

Go through the insurance - it won't cost her a penny. This happened to me a few months ago in car park but the woman who ran into my car spoke to my witness (an employee of the supermarket) and then drove off. I got the police involved because it was basically a hit and run and only the police can request to see the cctv, data protection, so I doubt she be able to just take a look like she thinks (but that may depend who is running the cctv). Her insurance covered everything, including a hire car that I had to have for work business and it didn't affect my NCB or cost me a penny.

Tell her to take a running jump. I wish the woman who'd scraped down the side of my car had been like you.

And to add - the police didn't prosecute her for the hit and run. They just got her insurance details and passed them on to me

[zower]

Can I ask OP - you definitely took photos, is that right?

That should help you re. the insurance issue, no?

[Wannabestepfordwife]

Yanbu I would definitely go through insurers from now on.

When I was working insurance, if you weren't using and insurers approved repairer they would want a quote from 2 different garages, just in case a garage or claimant was trying to pull a fast one.

[eggyhead]

Never ever sort out repairs directly with another driver. ALWAYS go through the insurance company. It always costs more than you anticipate and people normally get the arse.

My Dad worked in Insurance all his life and this was his number one rule.

[ModreB]

I would agree to go through the Insurance.

BUT if you decide not to, make sure that you get quotes for the damage as well, as she could easily inflate the cost.

[Tiredmumno1]

I do agree with everyone else, you need to report it to your insurers.

But do at as soon as you can.

[Tiredmumno1]

it not at

[mum11970]

What make of car was it? Being a very old car it wouldn't take much to make it an insurance write off. Thing that sounds odd to me is she's saying it needs a new wing. The wing is on the side not the rear and unless you hit towards the corner of the bumper it would be unlikely (not guaranteed) that the bump damaged the wing. Do you have pics of the rear and the sides.

[AlbertaCampion]

Just wanted to add: if she is driving a banger and you go through insurance, they may well write it off. This is what happened to me when somebody put a sizeable dent into the rear of my car. Insurance wrote it off and I got a paltry £200.

So if you do go through insurance, it won't necessarily be a good thing for her! Something to bear in mind if she is being an arse...

[asmallandnoisymonkey]

It will be a condition of your motor insurance policy that you must report any incident involving your car that may give rise to a claim.

It could affect your policy if you don't. If you don't and your failure to do so prejudices your insurers position they may seek to recover any damages from you in the future.

I understand your no claims bonus is an issue for you but you pay your insurance premiums precisely so you don't have to go through this hassle.

[LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood]

OP. I've been trying to get back online to answer you.

I think it will be fine. But don't leave it much later.

I was in a similar position once - though rhe other woman was a parent at an activity my DD1 attended and was perfectly decent - but it looked at first that it was a minor dent. A week later the estimate (entirely genuine) was for £350 and I decided to go to the insurance. It was ok. But they did ask why I hadn't reported it sooner and bleated a bit about my not making any arrangements direct that would 'invalidate my insurance'. I certainly wasn't going to let them wriggle out of paying up and to be fair they didn't try.

I'm just warning you not to leave it too long. Don't agonise over it anymore.

Best of luck. I'm sure it will all be fine.

[rockybalBOOOOa]

Insurance all the way. Do not engage any further with her. Have you got her registration? Contact your insurers, pass on the info you have. Don't stress, stuff like this happens all the time, it's what we pay insurance for.

[FortyDoorsToNowhere]

I don't think she has insurance.

[SauvignonBlanche]

I wouldn't trust her, go through your insurance.

[RevoltingPeasant]

Thanks all :) esp Lady for coming back specially!

I am going to pick DH up but will ring right after. Yes I have photos of the damage. Tbh I'd be prepared to believe it was a whole wing and pay for it if she were just straightforward.

Hope ins won't be too cross with delay, but there's only one way to find that out!

[RevoltingPeasant]

Forty that did also cross my mind.....

[Tiredmumno1]

Good Luck Peasant, I am sure it'll all be fine once you get the ball rolling with your insurers. At least you won't need to have anymore contact with her.

[HarryPotterMadMum]

A similar thing happened to my MIL,I luckily,was able to to take pictures and verify the whereabouts of the lady that hit her and where I saw her when she had come to a stop. The other lady scraped down the side of MIL car and wasn't going to stop til MIL got out and made her. Then she tried to claim it was the MIL fault (even though she was stationary) and made up a load of rubbish about her car! Some people will try to get away with so much. They are just idiots.

[Grotbagstwin]

It could well be a write off, Someone reversed into my car 3 weeks ago, the car is worth £1000 - new door resprayed and fitted is £1200.
I gave the lady the option of if she wanted to go through insurance or through a garage and she chose insurance, if its £50 or £5000 claimed on your insurance the premium will go up the same amount.
My advice is ask her for a written quote from the garage (all garages offer this for free, I got two quotes for mine) then if she wants to get it fixed away from insurance you pay the garage directly not through her, then there is no way she can pocket some of the money. Or just call your insurance and give them her name, reg and number and let them deal with her and if she messages you say the imsurance is dealing with it.

[Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme]

This happened to me a few months ago. I caught a car in a car park. Scraped down two doors and just caught the wing. Took pictures and left my number.

Lady rang a couple of days later. Was a bit snotty about it but couldn't blame her, wasn't her fault and she now had to run about getting quotes, making phone calls and getting her car repaired. Gave her my insurance details and she said she'd ring me and let me know what she was doing.

Insurance company wrote to me a week later. I rang and they just wanted to confirm that a claim made against me was genuine. I said sorry but it was and would this invalidate my policy? She said no they just needed the details. I emailed them the pictures and never heard anything back. She never got back to me to tell me she was definitely going through the insurance. They didn't seem to mind that I hadn't told them.

Luckily I've got protected no claims. I paid a mate with a bodyshop twenty quid to touch up the small scuff on my bumper and that was it.

You might not be so lucky if your no claims isn't protected, it might cost you next year when you renew your insurance.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

"'My mechanic is concerned due to the age of the car and the fact that the whole back wing has to be replaced that the car is a write off'."
My understanding is that a car is considered a write-off if the cost of the repairs exceeds the value of the car post-repair. So I would interpret that text as a snottily-worded 'my car is so old the garage laughed out loud at the mere idea of repairing it.'

[Lora1982]

Id wait and see what she decides. I couldn't afford to lose out with higher premiums. She might not have meant it how its come across in the text

[microserf]

Definitely deal with your insurers only from now on. My nanny had someone lightly graze her car and then try to claim for all sorts, and started personally harassing her. Both employers had to get involved to make it stop, which it did because basically it was fraud. Your insurers will put her to proof, sit back and let them sort it out.

[tropicalfish]

perhaps someone has already said this but car damage is very expensive to repair. She is probably not trying to fleece you but is frustrated through no fault of her own she is in this position.
You think it is only a crack but that crack could cost £2000 to repair. Her car might only be worth £1000 , which is what she was referring to.
Certainly I would go through the insurance as that way you will not have to deal with her directly.