AIBU to think I got dumped?

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

Feeling pissed off so bring it on AIBU.

Been dating for 3 months. Last time I saw him was last Wed/ Thurs morning. Thurs eve sent him a text apologising (leaked in his mattress) and saying to let me know about the next (now this) week.

Usually would've heard something by Mon the latest. Nada. So Tues eve I texted: 'Oh dear, not even a text this week... X'. He read it an hour later at 8pm. Nada.

This morning I sent a pissy text that if he doesn't want to speak to someone than maybe let them know, esp. If they (I) are the people who like him.

At the beginning he was more into me and after a while I thought, yeah let's give it a go. So I thought we were on the same page.

He is extremely busy at work and has different sports in the evenings, which makes me pissed off he manages to do everything but spare 10 secs to text me.

[leobear]

I'm sorry, but it does sound as though, in the words of the book, he's just not that in to you. Move on. And I mean that kindly.

[Llanbobl]

Delete his number so you're not tempted to text. Block on FB so you're not tempted to perk at what he's up to and walk away with your dignity intact.
If he's been busy with work he'll be in touch, if not cut your losses......better now than when you've invested more in the relationship

[pictish]

Sinful someone here has issues and it's not the OP! How fucking rude are you?

[pictish]

Who says he misconstrued her text?

OP your conduct has been appropriate and restrained, and not at all needy or insistent.

I wonder if he has met someone else? That might explain the abrupt cut off. Not saying he has of course, it's just a thought. x

[BuzzardBirdBloodBath]

Controlling bitch? wow, what a lovely way to speak to someone

[sweetestcup]

I know you didnt mean the text to be sarky but the problem with texting is we cant use facial expression, voice and body language to convey what we mean - which is why texts are often misconstrued.

[DownstairsMixUp]

I hardly think two texts over five days is "needy" I would personally just ignore and delete his number, sounds like a time waster.

[pictish]

I agree with Harold - it's way too shabby for you, right?

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

Ni, he didn't miss anything, he ignored my perfectly reasonable 2 texts over 5 day period. Considering he would always be in contact before I don't see my reaction surprising.

Who are all those people who have those completely strung free uber casual sex encounters where woman can't initiate contact without being considered to be a needy psycho?

[StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes]

you are massively over reacting he missed a few days texts ... so what, he rang and explained. think you are projecting other stuff into this and come accross as needy, angry and possibly in need of returning to GP for support.

[ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee]

Has he called back yet Drink?

I have no idea what some posters are on, or what axe they have to grind, but a couple of texts is not 'needy' and your text was NOT sarky. Perfectly normal.

Was his blah blah blah very important stuff? Anyway, a couple of texts to you takes seconds, even if he didn't have time to meet up this week.

I'd listen if he calls again - but it probably wouldn't change my mind that he's not for me, if he's not that 'into you' right now, it wont get any better and who needs that?

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

Aaargh, wrote a post and then deleted it.

[pinkyredrose]

sinful two texts make someone a clingy controlling bitch and a psycho?

Someone's clearly ruffled your feathers, I hope you get the help you need.


OP you are not in the wrong here. He's ignoring you and that's not on.

[AlexaChelsea]

Yeah, I'd let him speak. There's no excuse to not take a minute or two to send a text, but I have this issue with DH and it's frustrating when he says he was too busy to reply or such. It takes one minute!

He might have a good answer. Wait and see.

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

Well he did call on Thurs and left a voicemail. Hi Drink. It's Twunt here. Hope you're alright. Sorry for not being in touch, been dealing with different matters blah blah blah, although that's not your fault and I should've got in touch. Sorry I didn't catch you, will try to later.

You think he called again? Noooo.

I suppose he will soon. Not sure how I will deal with ot. Spoke to a friend and he said not to say much just let him speak.

[Zoe456]

Yes, a different thread perhaps but I wouldn't be brave enough to sleep with somebody if they considered me needy if I texted them I am not judging at all I swear but if it's supposed to be fun then how is that fun? God, it's no wonder I have had just one (short) relationship in the six years since xh. I think I'll just hunker down. These threads scare me.

[Latara]

What a wanker.
Sorry but after 12 weeks he owes you more than just to ignore you - a phone call at least.

Sending him 2 texts in a week is not at all needy when you've been together for 3 months and are sleeping together! I would have done the same.

On a different subject, hope you get on ok coming off the Sertraline and are having some support from your GP or CMHT?

[Zoe456]

Dating terrifies me. That you could be sleeping with somebody who doesn' t even owe you a text (never mind a conversation) when you're dumped I think I'm too frightened to sleep with anybody ever again. I'm just not brave enough to be dumped without so much as a text! It's a bit mad Ted. :-p Stick to Candy Crush!

[meganorks]

Yes you have been dumped. I think it was the mooncup. One of the more disturbing things I have learnt about on mumsnet and I am female!

[DSM]

No idea what that sudden pasting was about, OP you are still, I maintain, in the right. He is an arse. Any man that decides after 3 months that he's 'just not they into you' and can't even be bothered to text you to let you know, is an arse.

Your texts weren't snarky, psycho , nor are you, in any way coming across as a clingy! controlling bitch.

sinful - you are being really nasty. You sound like you have issues.

I like what haroldloyd said!

[Rosencrantz]

He's just not that into you. He'd be texting if he was.

Get over it, move on, stop wasting your energy on someone not worthwhile.

[HaroldLloyd]

I just think that people that are like this with partners get some sort of kick from being chased, you've only sent two texts, that's not so bad, but I would now delete his number.

Dump and delete.

I think you know when someone isn't as interested as you would like, I always have.

[HaroldLloyd]

I wouldn't want a boyfriend who didn't text or get in touch with me fairly regularly, so that's fair enough.

Rather than feeling dumped looked at it this way, he wasn't giving you what you wanted and you make the decision not to bother with him any more.

So your actually dumping him.

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

I just wanted to meet a bloke that likes me and I like him. I ran 2 businesses, have a toddler and am busy too. But clearly not that busy as not to spare few secs for. Text once or twice a week. Without fail we would text and see each other once a week on average so yes, I found it strabge that abruptly stopped.

Why shouldn't I enquire? I won't anymore. He did just call but I'm working and need to compose myself before calling back.

Either way, I think a bloke who cannot find a spare minute for me in a whole week is simply not interested.

[HaroldLloyd]

No one is saying that OP. but what's the point of sending angry texts?

It's either some sort of misunderstanding, in which case he will get put off, OR

He's a knob, in which case don't stoke his ego.