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AIBU?

To not let my 1 year old breastfeed despite her crying in hunger?

95 replies

HopLittleFroggiesHopHopHop · 27/09/2013 15:31

She's not eaten ANY food today, tried to give her porridge, apple puree, strawberries, 'organic' crisps, sweet potato and lasagne so far. She hasn't had a single mouthful, I last let her breastfeed about an hour after she refused breakfast, and she had a big drink then at about 10.
This is a very regular occurrence but she usually breastfeeds on demand a lot.

She's taken a tiny bit of water but is pushing away snacks still, and clawing at my top for milk, pretty upset.

Should I just give in or should I wait out and hope she takes real food when she's hungry enough?

OP posts:

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Charleymouse · 27/09/2013 15:51

I would deffo feed her breastmilk. I dont think it is unhealthy to do so.

BaldricksTurnip · 27/09/2013 15:52

Also just to add at this age babies are still supposed to be drinking roughly a pint of milk a day.

TinyTear · 27/09/2013 15:53

Feed her. some days my daughter just isn't hungry and just wants milk. i give it to her... why let a baby go hungry??

oscarwilde · 27/09/2013 15:55

Every hour, you must be exhausted and very very frustrated.

Prepared for a flaming on here but I don't think you are being unreasonable to want to stop and you may yet have to force the issue. However, if you make a huge issue of it she will just dig her heels in and ultimately you will cave rather than see her so upset and hungry.

See a doctor and make absolutely sure that there is no medical reason for it. Then get on with the weaning. If you want to continue bfing but in a more moderate way, then I would restrict it to 3-4 times a day.

Wrong forum for this however, I would ask for this to be moved or I would repost and set out what you are actually trying to achieve and get some good advice on how to achieve your aims.

oscarwilde · 27/09/2013 15:58

Also if she is unwell you will get this anyway. But your OP states that it is not unusual

guiltyconscience · 27/09/2013 15:58

YADNBU it's your body your child you should go with your gut instinct .

NoComet · 27/09/2013 16:01

Just let her feed, all the older DCs are passing colds and sore throats round school.

It's very likely she's caught a bit of a virus and milk is all she feels like.

agendabender · 27/09/2013 16:02

Feed her. I'm glad you are. Nursing meets not only her nutritional needs, but also her emotional ones. If she's gaining on the same centile then that's how big she is, there's no need to go up the chart (and the charts are flawed in many ways, of course) and someone has to be at the bottom, but the bottom is the bottom of the normal range! If she does find food a challenge she's really lucky to have a mummy who still lets her breastfeed. Hurrah for you!

DoudousDoor · 27/09/2013 16:07

This won't be popular but have you tried distraction? For months DS wouldn't eat unless the TV was on. So he watched Postman Pat/Button Moon/Teletubbies (argh!)/Thomas the Tank Engine ad infinitum.

Now aged 2 he will eat happily without TV.

During this time I had friends tearing their hair out cos their DC wouldn't eat. But they refused to try different techniques like the TV.

If that doesn't work then yes, I would continue BFing.

kali110 · 27/09/2013 16:08

Ahh op i dont think yabu. Hope it gets better soon x

monkeymamma · 27/09/2013 16:22

If she is at home with you and your boobs at the time she'd normally have milk the habit will be hard to break (i had very similar with ds). I found it helpful to go out somewhere exciting, with lots to do and lots of other children, so ds was distracted and often forgot about feeds. Try to avoid showing your anxiety re mealtimes, offer something when you're eating and as she gets older she'll start fancying some of what you're having (especially, I found, with meals outside of the home.) Ds liked fruit pouches, especially plum blueberry and vanilla, probably because they have intense flavours but very smooth texture, so eventually I gave him these (plus whatever he wanted from our plates) rather than faffing about making delicious organic meals for him to refuse :-) probably my approach wasn't ideal - and I wasted a lot of time feeling guilty about it - but I can happily report that age 20 months he now eats everything (with great gusto) and we are often complimented on how well he eats/how adventurous and non-fussy he is with food.

waterrat · 27/09/2013 16:33

Wow op some unfair comments here - the vast majority of 1 year olds are not breast fed there is nothing wrong with wanting to stop feeding on demand - she is breast feeding like a newborn !!

Of course she won't eat solids if she is bf every hour !

Please feel free to gradually reduce feeds - perhaps you need to post In a more sympathetic forum asking for advice specifically about cutting down feeds

A one year old really does need more than just milk.

MikeOxard · 27/09/2013 16:49

Ds is 14 months and is the same about bf and food. He's chubby though, always has been. Very different to dd who was skinny but ate more at 6 months than ds eats now! I just let him have what he wants, and he is gradually eating more especially now on the days I work.

I think its ok to let them go at their own pace. In rl people always say 'don't give in', I don't know why. Give in! Make life easy for yourselves, and just don't stress about it. If baby starts losing weight or is otherwise unhappy then there is a problem, otherwise I wouldnt worry. X

OHforDUCKScake · 27/09/2013 16:52

My 2.4 year old feeds every 30-60 minutes day and night.

Its not easy is it?

However, at 1yo you really dont have to worry about it being unhealthy.

My son barely ate a thing at that age, on top his diet was hugely, hugely restricted, he is allergic to 29 different foods.

Breastmilk has soooooo many different vitamins, nutrients and fats and calories.

I too was worried (despite being told it was ok!) and when he had his annual blood test at 18 months old I asked them to check his calcium, vit D, b, iron etc and it was all absolutely fine.

He eats like a bird now, still but hes on 90th centile so we have be doing something right.

appletarts · 27/09/2013 17:00

Ummm, she's too hungry to try solids and is distressed because you are pushing her to do something before she is ready because it is convenient for you, not her, feed her for god sake and go and see your health visitor to get some on-going support while you wean your child, it is obviously triggering something for you and is causing a problem for her. Bit sodding irritated to be honest that there's a baby clawing at her mum for food and mum is sat there on the frigging internet!

FrigginRexManningDay · 27/09/2013 17:07

If you feel you want to wean her off the boob can you try giving her some breast milk in a beaker? I wouldn't worry about actual food or rolls of baby fat,some kids have them some kids don't.

squoosh · 27/09/2013 17:11

I agree with waterrat.

gymphobe · 27/09/2013 17:23

:-O

feed her.

oscarwilde · 27/09/2013 17:34

I agree with Waterrat too.

StarlightMcKenzie · 27/09/2013 17:36

cakesarenottheanswer Please can you tell me how your friend got the lip tie cut. I am trying to get my 15month olds done and having no luck so far I'm getting desperate.

Dobbiesmum · 27/09/2013 17:39

I was going to suggest letting her pinch some of your food but someone beat me to it
It works for us for a different reason, it's the perfect way to introduce DD2 to new tastes. There's nothing more interesting to a child than somebody getting something you're not! Try letting her nibble from your plate or doing a one for me one for you type of approach.
And try to internalise your frustration, they pick up on it and play up more I find.

SaucyJack · 27/09/2013 17:43

YANBU to want to cut down on breastfeeding at that age. She's 12 months, not twelve days.

A year of frequent, demand feeding is bloody good going. You should be pleased with yourself.

I have no practical advice tho on how to handle the sitch. Both of mine happily weaned themselves.

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Locketjuice · 27/09/2013 17:48

My sons exactly the same but with formula/cows milk... I let him have it in the morning once breakfast has been refused and then if he won't eat lunch/dinner he doesn't have any until bedtime, doesn't bother him one bit wish he would get hungry just so he would eat!

FlapJackFlossie · 27/09/2013 17:49

At last, some sense from waterrat and SaucyJack !! ^^

thebody · 27/09/2013 17:53

I think you are a star to have breast fed for a year. good in you. if you want to stop now that's perfectly fine and ONLY your decision. no one else.

your dd is feeding like a new born and so is full up.

bf is lovely, but your needs are just as important as your dds.

I bf all of mine for a year and then stopped. it's hard but the milk dries up after a few days of pure agony and your dd will move on.

this is totally your decision not outs or your dds. just yours.

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