Is my mum being unreasonable to think that I took a risk?

[SeekingEmployment]

Be warned that this is a strange story.

About a year ago I was approached by a weeping woman outside a Superdrug store requesting me help her pay for a medicine she desperately needed. I was obviously wary at first because I didn't know what her agenda was and so I refused. When I walked out half an hour later I saw her standing outside the store and sobbing. I felt awful and she seemed rather genuine to me so I bought the medicine for her. It only cost me £3 as she had enough to pay the other half.

She never went out of my mind and I have always wondered why she was in such a horrible situation. :( :(

Strangely enough, I saw the same woman while walking home a couple of days back. I recognised her but she didn't recognise me (probably because she was so distressed when we had met). I asked her how she was now and if everything was OK. She said her daughter was very sick but she couldn't remember our meeting in Superdrug. I have no idea what compelled me to do this but much to her complete surprise, I gave her 10 quid for her daughter.

She was tearful and seemed genuinely shocked. Now here comes the part that made my mum think that this woman is an ex-con . The woman asked me if I lived nearby and what I did for a living. I didn't answer her questions directly just wished her luck and left. I also made sure I wasn't being followed when I went home.

My mum is rather paranoid and she thinks that this woman will now hang around that area and wait for more handouts or maybe follow me home and harass me. She even alluded that this woman might try to rob me

I understand that perhaps it is best to stay away from people one doesn't know well but surely my mum is being a bit too paranoid by worrying so much?

[RedHelenB]

I disagree that she is a scammer as she didn't ask for money, op offered her £10. If my kid needed calpol & I had no money I would need it THEN, not in the morning when maybe I could get a prescription off the doctor( ours won't give for that sort of thing) & if you're on benefits you might well have no cash & no credit card. Well done OP _ i think you were very kind hearted!

[DeWe]

I've had that in Oxford. Lady was obviously unlucky because the next time I saw her she was asking for money as she'd lost her purse, and another time she'd run out of petrol and just needed to borrow some money that she really would pay back.

And at the end of the day was picked up by car...

[PurpleFairy3]

Wow! Reading all these stories... I don't drive, but I would NEVER pick up a hitchhiker or give anyone a lift. The sad but true fact is, you can't trust anyone in society today. It might just be me though, but I'm an extremely wary and cautious person. These people know what they're doing; they're not stupid, they will have an extremely well thought-out story ready to get you to trust them.

When I was a kid, I think I was about 9 - I was out with my mum riding my bike. I had ridden ahead of her and had stopped at the road to wait. A man came up to me and started talking - asking me where if I lived nearby and what I was up to that day. He then asked me if I was waiting for my friends - I replied "No, my mum" and pointed behind me. He responded "Oh right" and walked off pretty quickly. Both me and my mum were very freaked out at this incident. Ever since then I've been incredibly paranoid.

Having said that, I do think you did a nice thing. Fair play to you because I myself wouldn't have. I don't know if that makes me mean or just paranoid?

[Idespair]

I think the woman is a con artist, sorry. It is unlikely she will follow you home or rob you though because she probably stays weeping outside chemists to get money off strangers.

[BurberryQ]

but agree with Afiach - if someone is that desperate for money that they can have real tears then whether it is a scam or not, they really need that money -

[BurberryQ]

sounds like a scammer tbh

[Afiach]

I think you did a nice thing. I tend to not think too much when I'm a situation like this, because if someone's in such a bad place in their lives that they need to scam like that, I'm happy to give them a few quid.

I took a stupid risk a few weeks ago. Someone flagged down my car on the edge of town- I thought there'd been an accident- So I pulled over. The man then asked me where I was going and if he could have a lift to the bus stop on the other side of town! He wasn't hitchhiking, he'd stepped out in front of my car and waved both his arms. However, he very obviously had SN and I wondered how he would get home if I left him. So I gave him a lift home, and then thought, fuck, that could have been a very clever scam.

[Trills]

I agree that
1 - she is a scammer
2 - you have not risked anything other than losing the money

[Lovecat]

Bloke knocked on my door a few years ago with a very plausible story of his little daughter with cancer, they needed to raise xx amount to get her to America for treatment - you do read about that in the papers and he had what looked like proper ID and photos of a little girl in hospital with no hair... I gave him a couple of quid and wished him luck.

2 weeks later he knocked again and started to go into the same spiel - I interrupted him and said he'd already asked me, he apologised but there was something about him (couldn't get away quick enough) that raised my suspicions and I called the local police about him. Turned out he was a childless heroin addict and is currently in jail for taking in several thousand pounds in his scam. I'm more that he cynically used pictures of a sick child to fund his addiction than anything else. It's made me very mistrusting.

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

Where I live there's a woman that stands outside the supermarket trying to get people to give her money as her cards been stolen. It hasnt, the shop know of her. She's also asked me for money before. I would never get my purse or phone out incase someone was trying to steal them.

Some bloke stopped me and DH once trying to persuade us his car had broken down and could we go with him to help. Tried the same trick with DH's flatmate the next night.

[NorksAreMessy]

You did a kind thing, it doesn't matter whether the woman was genuine or not.
What matters is that YOU did a kind and compassionate thing that you should be able to be proud of.

It is understandable that people have been conned and scammed, but it is similar to the no-troll hunting policy on MN. If that woman was genuinely looking for help and you refused because you were cynical, that would be sadder.

[Budgiegirlbob]

It is a risk, bu she could well have been genuine.

My friend's DH was driving home and stopped at a petrol station about 100 miles from home. He filled up his car, and then realised he had lost his wallet. He had some cash on him, but was about £10 short to pay for the petrol.

He asked a man at the next pump if he could lend him a tenner, and he would send a cheque back to him. The man gave him a tenner, and refused to accept the money back, saying that he hope someone would help him if he ever had the same problem. (of course, looking back on it, he may not have wanted to give his address to a stranger).

But sometimes things really are exactly as they seem, and are not always a scam

[eurochick]

I think it probably was a scam because of the free prescriptions point. Many gps will write a prescription for something you can get over the counter if you are hard up. But it's 13 quid and presumably you can afford it so no harm done.

[Crowler]

We did have someone ring our doorbell at 2am a couple of years ago with some obviously false story about losing keys needing train fare blah blah and my husband gave him money through the mail slot to go away. Sometimes, even if the story is fake - you know the person is not in a good spot in any case so you give the money.

[alreadytaken]

No she isn't being unreasonable, it is a risk. There are people who target those who have are generous and if you had said where you lived you might find dozens of people at the door saying they have problems and asking you to buy things. However helping someone to buy medication was a nice thing to do and the woman didn't approach you the second time. She might just have wanted to know where you live in the hope she could repay you one day.

Better to take a small risk now and then than never help anyone.

[Crowler]

OP that was a really nice thing you did. If she was indeed in a hard spot with a sick kid, think of how much you've helped someone.

[cory]

Everything in life is a risk assessment, including lending a helping hand to strangers. If the worst comes to the worst and this woman is a fraud, how much have you actually put at risk? Very little, as far as I can see. You have not given out any personal information, no bank details, anything. You will have lost a total of £13, which you can presumably afford to lose. Far less risky than clicking on a dodgy link on the internet.

[CrohnicallyLurking]

"It only cost me £3 as she had enough to pay the other half"

If she was a scammer surely she wouldn't have paid half the money? She'd have claimed she had no money at all, and been asking for donations, if Seeking had insisted on getting the medicine, she'd have let her pay for it all rather than handing over money for something she didn't actually want?

Some people are no good with faces, and it was a year ago and who knows what she's been through since then?

[Lj8893]

This woman does sound genuine but I can completely understand your mothers concern.
There are many many scammers (and alot of them very clever) around nowadays.

[DropYourSword]

Bloody phone!

All, not ask.
Asking, not adding.
Rather, not target.