To feel a bit crappy over a flamin' photo

[junobaby74]

Please be gentle with me as this is one of my first but I just wanted to ask the opinion of all you lovely ladies out there about something that has just happened.

So my mum came round with a photo album of loads of family pictures from this year, including our summer hols and they are lovely, happy people, beautiful scenery but......I look totally awful on every single one I'm in. Fat and old. I actually thought I was looking all right at the moment but after seeing those pictures I'm thinking "what the hell"? It doesn't help that sister and sil's all looked good on them either - tanned and slim (God I sound so jealous). Am I being a vain and shallow twit or has anyone else ever felt a mite down after viewing picture after picture of themselves looking nothing like they imagined they did?

Please be nice. I have a couple of nights out planned over next few days and am seriously thinking about putting paper bag over head eek!

[Chocolatehunter]

My dh tells me that I do the Chandler from friends smile in photo's!!

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

Jessie

Yes, it's my smile and the way my mouth looks that makes me hate photos

[Lyonesse]

I know how you feel. I have a very strong bone structure and while it looks ok in real life (I hope!), in photos it makes me look like an Easter Island statue. I also have very pale eyes which handily turn me into Satan in every photo with a flash.
I hate events that descend into endless photos, so my smile gets more and more rictus like, and my eyes get squinty-er. I agree it's nice to have a few photos, but put the camera down for a while and have a good time, rather than plotting your next FB profile picture no doubt where you look amazing and I look like a minor character from X-Men

[AllDirections]

DD1 is a keen photographer and when we went to an award ceremony one evening I asked her to try and take a good photo of me while I was looking my best. She took one, looked at it and said she'd take another one. She looked at this one slightly longer before saying she'd take just one more. She looked at this one for what seemed like ages before saying "You look much better in real life Mum!"

I'm just not photogenic.

[Juniperdewdropofbrandy]

boatclub that's awful!

[Juniperdewdropofbrandy]

I look better in photos than real life. People even say it! But I always look like I have fat arms so probably have? I'm losing weight since starting work so hopefully won't have such fat arms soon?

Sorry you've felt this way. I agree with having a photo of yourself done up, a practice fun. Wear something flattering and you'll look great. Enjoy your night out.

[celestialbows]

I look shit in photos . It's depressing cos I don't think I look that bad in real life. Doesn't help that my DH is a photographer and uses his family for his website often without me vetting the pics!

[ExitPursuedByADragon]

[Lazysuzanne]

how you look depends alot on the light and I think photo's must do something nasty to the light

[Lazysuzanne]

Photo's lie!
I can look in the mirror and think I look perfectly reasonable, then take a picture of the reflection in the mirror and in the photo think I look terrible.
The photo isnt the real you it's just a fleeting moment, the real you is the living moving version where your inner beauty is visible.

Er sorry that sounds so cheesy, but inner beauty is what doesnt show in photo's

[MartinPlattRGN]

Digital makes some people look funny. My stepsis is much prettier than me in real life and on video but not in still photos, it's bizarre!

[JessieMcJessie]

Agreed. I really hate 99 out of 100 pictures of me yet, like Jamie, i think i look OK in the mirror. I have worked out that the reason is that i have a horrid smile- makes my eyes disappear and bag up and my chin look huge. It's not a weight thing either, so can't do anything to change it. It depresses me hugely that everyone else looks in photos just as I see them, so the photo me must be the real one and the mirror me wishful thinking. I avoid having holiday pics taken even tho my poor DP always wants me posed in front of this view or that, and he is ridiculously photogenic so i soil all the ones we do together. i feel for you chocolate, I have actually thought on occasion that if DP proposed i might say no just to avoid the wedding pics. Like the OP for me this is more than just a fleeting "yuck, what a bad pic" it is a genuine trigger for self- loathing. I cannot understand people who merrily post selfies and holiday pics all over Facebook. interestingly i have felt this way since i was a teenager, it's not that i look back on teenage pics now and think i look OK. once when i was about 13 i said to my Guide leader "oh, why do i always look so awful in photos?" and she replied "well, the camera never lies". Am still scarred by that 27 years later.

[ExitPursuedByADragon]

I have lost shed loads of weight but still look shit on pics. In my head I am fabulous.

[sparkle12mar08]

This happened to me back in June. I thought I was doing okay on my diet, and I'd started running a few months beforehand and was up to 10km distances. On photographs at a friends party I look fat and about 4 months pregnant to boot. I know I have a diastasis still, but I was disappointed at the fat around my face, neck, arms, and bum too. I look happy and relaxed, don't get me wrong, and the colours I was wearing suited nicely. But ultimately, I look fat and there's no getting away from it. So I'm working a bit harder at getting my fitness together, but I'm still struggling enormously with eating at the moment. There's a whole lot of ishoos there for me to deal with, but at least I can face what I am now with a clear view.

[boatclub]

I never felt too awful about photos until my mum passed on some photos that her friend had taken of me and my kids where mum had cut me out of a couple because I looked "just dreadful". Cheers mum

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

GoEasy

That's food for thought

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

I feel quite/very happy with how I look (even in the mirror) until I see pictures of myself. It's worst when someone says "That's a nice photo" or "That one is a really good likeness" because that brings home that I really look like that.

So, since self-esteem is all in the mind I like to kid mine. Don't have photos taken. Simple!

[junobaby74]

Poor you chocolate, that is the one day in your life when you do want to look drop dead gorg.

I know I'm probably being over critical. I showed them to daughter before and she said it's just the angle, before then going on to say 'it's not your body that makes you look fat it's your face, look you have about three chins'. Thanks darling for the kind, supportive words. Very glad to know that it's not just me who has really started hating seeing pictures of myself. Sounds like I'm not alone!

[dirtyface]

aww op i am the same

in pics i either look WAY better than i think i do in rl or WAY worse

more often worse

[GoEasyPudding]

I know how you feel.
A whole summer of bad photos has sent me running to weight watchers.

The ones my DS took were the most honest as he doesn't know the unofficial rules about taking snaps of me which are, no legs, no tum and have the camera on multi shot so out of 20 frames there will be one that will pass my critical eye.

ExitDragons, you must allow photos of yourself to be taken because yes, your DD will want memories of you in photo form - so don't miss out.

Another mumsnetter posted this link recently about this issue. Mommy Stays in the Picture. It's about the importance of having pictures taken with the kids, no matter what.

linkylinky

[Chocolatehunter]

Count yourself lucky. This week I had my wedding photographs back and I hate every single one of me. I thought I looked nice and don't remember seeing huge eye bags, plus I'm not overweight so don't really have a double chin, yet every photo is eye bag and double chin central. I feel really vain not to like our wedding photos but I wanted at least one day in my life where I could look at photos of myself and think I looked lovely.

[WilsonFrickett]

Oh god don't start me on the jowls tothesea.

I remember being fascinated by my GGM's jowls when I was tiny. And here they are, a pair of my own to play with. Yay!

[ExitPursuedByADragon]

Until she looks in the mirror

[ExitPursuedByADragon]

I do everything in my power not to appear in any photos.

It is sad really as there are so few photos of us as a family. Thousands of DD, but when she looks back when we are dead and gone she will wonder if we ever existed

[Pawprint]

I have cringed at some pics of me when I thought I looked nice but definitely didn't.

Don't be too hard on yourself.