To wonder why my face has changed since having DD

[VulvaVoom]

I look old and my face somehow looks more hang dog and haggard. I have those brown marks on my face, which doesn't help at all but I had them even BEFORE getting pregnant.

I'm getting decent sleep now (she's 11 months old) but when I look at pictures of me on my honeymoon 4 years ago, I can't believe how lovely, glowing and well, quite nice I look compared to now. Now I look shit and I don't think any amount of face cream will do anything.

Not being big headed (I promise) but even though I'm overweight, I've always scrubbed up well and been fairly photogenic but when I looked at pics of me at a recent wedding, I look like I have no make up on at all even though I took care and time doing it - WTF has happened?? And how can I get my old face back :(

BTW I know it's not a huge deal and my DD is worth it but I'm suffering from depression, so my confidence is pretty crap anyway.

[DrCoconut]

Thank goodness the facial change is not imaginary. Mine is slightly asymmetric now and looks like it kind of slipped. I have nothing wrong causing it so it must just be the DC. I hate all photos except with sunglasses.

[IfAtFirstUDontSucceed]

I treated myself to a haircut today - the first in over 6 months! It made me feel fantastic walking down the high street afterwards. Unfortunately, the moment I stepped through the door at home 6mo DS decided that mummy's hair was amazing stuff to grab/tug repeatedly/shove in mouth.... Promptly scraped back in a bobble again :(

My diet is pretty rubbish at the moment and I do think that's contributing to how I look and feel. I didn't put on much weight after I had DS, but it has been creeping on while I've been on mat leave. I've developed a major sweet tooth, so while my meals are pretty healthy, I gorge on biscuits and I'm eating too much bread as well. Major sugar crashes!

I have now had some inspiration to get my wobbly arse in to gear. :)

[Echocave]

In my case it's a combination of lack of sleep, not a great diet and, frankly, age.

[VulvaVoom]

Wow, felt a bit sorry for myself when this got no replies but came back today and all of this. Thanks to all of you and I'm sorry some of you are feeling the same. I just cannot get my crappy eating under control at the moment and I bet that has a lot to do with it.

I have my hair done every 6-8 weeks and I love it for 2 days, then it just looks a bit limp again, like someone else mentioned WTAF happens to it?? Just after having DD I could wash and wear, it was a lustrous, glossy mane and looked great but I now have tufty bits sticking up everywhere (where it fell out and is growing again)

Also, I always try to make an effort to look smart and put make up on but glance at myself in shop windows or whatever and I look like a bloody hag!

This is a bit of a pity party, sorry and thanks for all the kind suggestions and commiserations

[stopgap]

I feel the same way. DS is two, has slept great since six months, but I look knackered and there is no pregnancy glow this time round.

I colour my hair, am in great physical shape, eat more organic food than you can throw a wok at, yet there is a vast difference between how I looked just after having my son and now. I never look well-rested.

[owlface]

Great post Trucks, thank you!

[KittensoftPuppydog]

Facial workout. I second that. Coming up to mid 50s and sag kept at bay with saying eee oooo eee oooo over and over again when I'm feeling a bit saggy. Try not to do this in public though.

[gnittinggnome]

Have you looked at Eva Fraser's Facial Workout? Good for a giggle if nothing else at the silly faces you pull, but given the face is basically held up by muscles underneath it makes sense to give those a good workout too!

Plus I absolutely second making a little time to focus on yourself, with exercise and wearing clothes that you really enjoy wearing. You don't need to spend the earth to get fancy, but relaxing and taking care of yourself are key.

[MrsKoala]

Wow trucks, good for you. I bought the shred but i keep in still wrapped in a drawer as i'm scared of it.

I wanted to start this week but have a chest infection and bad period so have eaten my body weight in cheese and bread products today and feel seriously worse about myself. Also bloody DS wont go to bed till midnight every night so i get no time :( I just feel if i could get him into some routine i'd be okay, i'd have time for me. it's 10.40pm and he's still fucking leaping off sofas.

[Kiwiinkits]

Trilogy Rosehip Oil is the BUSINESS for brown spots or scars of any sort. I swear that stuff has magical properties.

[AngryBeaver]

Google, Jeuvoderm Voluma. That is all ;)

[TrucksAndDinosaurs]

There not their
Dark red wine toes not ties
Damn you phone.

[TrucksAndDinosaurs]

Style and Beauty and the low carb/5:2/exercise forums deserve - they have made me look and feel so much better since I started reading and acting on advice from their after 2 years haggard puffy baggy sadness.

Jillian Michaels DVD 30 min day x 5 days a week.
Low carb/primal/bit of fasting/bin bread and beer and sugar, eat meat veg fish fat nuts yog cheese drink dry wine.
Reading about 'getting colours done' and working out what mine are
Embracing the fitted garment instead of the flappy tent
The bra interventions - I'm 32DD not 36B who knew?
Getting long lank hair into a choppy toffee coloured bob
Threaded brows
Short plain buffed fingernails and dark wine ties
Coconut oil and hot wet muslin face cleanse
Hot lemon water first thing and 3litres water a day
Chuck out bobbly/sad/ill fitting garments and reorganise pant drawer and wardrobe
Use BB cream and quick lick brown
Mascara and cream blush and bright lippie mixed with Vaseline
Don't keep nice stuff for best - wear it and feel nice even if you're just going out for milk and petrol
New dark skinny boot cuts taken up and hemmed by a pro tailor
Under eye cream always
One seriously early night a week

I tell you what, it's fucking amazing. I'd basically given up age 42 after 2 years of tested-to-destruction sleep deprivation and SN parenting drama. It was bloody MN that showed me how to get it back. Oh I love you guys.
OP, it's not gone. It's there. Carve out 30 minutes a day for yourself and 15 minutes after DC in bed and take it back, you're worth it :)

[MrsKoala]

Right - inspired by this thread i'm of to Style and Beauty to see what's new.

[MrsKoala]

yeah, Seapriestess i'm thinking about something like that, i had a bit put aside to sort my boobs out after being utterly ruined, but may re-allocate the funds to sort the old boat race out. After all it's only DH who sees the thrupennies now.

[TheSeaPriestess]

I felt like this and had Botox! Fucking brilliant stuff, sod spending £300 on useless face cream! It's worn off now so I look shit again but even now my forehead wrinkles are nowhere near as bad as they were.

I'm going for the slightly cheaper and less invasive fringe now to cover them next as I'm skint.

[BigBrassBand]

I think a lot of it is to do with actually being too tired, so the facial muscles are slack... If you want to terrify yourselves, look downwards into a hand mirror!

Lots of veg helps, NO booze or fagarettes, exfoliate your face and use that Boots serum stuff before moisturiser. Try and sleep. Stress and tiredness face must wear off after the first 3 years, I hope!

[fiatpandababba]

I got married 2 years ago and I was glowing - and looked so young. I was 36. Ds is 10 months old and I swear I don't recognise myself - my face looks grey, hangs down - hair limp, sweaty and messy from running around all day. I don't wear make up anymore - maybe that would help. Yuck! I also feel like I've aged.

[MrsKoala]

And seriously what's with the hair loss? i've been moulting for a year and my lovely locks are now half the thickness of what they were even before pregnancy?

[Teapigging]

I look back at photos of me with my month-old baby and see the remnants of my pregnancy glow and my lovely glossy pregnancy hair, despite a C section and sleepless nights. Now he is a gorgeous toddler and I look about 200 years old. It must be cumulative sleeplessness..?

[MrsKoala]

Sorry to MErail OP but...Lineup - i have tried loads of hairdressers over the years and they all just stick with what i've got (long dark straight hair with a fringe). If you have any London hairdresser recommendations i'd be most grateful :)

[lineup]

ah Mrs Koala, I hate it when hairdressers just play it safe!

you must find a picture of celeb hair cut/colour you like and show it to them (many are too tired/bored/ to suggest new styles sometimes). Keep trying hairdressers until you find a good one who listens! it took me 2 years to find mine she is precious - doesnt make me talk rubbish small talk and just tells me how well i look (even if I look awful that day!)

[lineup]

also - i had post natal depression when dd2 was 6mths, until she was 3 it was an awful time when i hated my face, body, country i lived in, i just couldnt see logic or truth in anything

antidrepressants were the only thing that brought me back

are you taking ad's?

[MrsKoala]

ohh good idea about the hair cut. Since I had DS my haircut i've had for my entire life which has always been commented on doesn't suit me any more WTF is that all about?!

But i find hairdressers make no suggestions and just recommend i stick with what i've got :(