to be really cross with my eldest daughter's school?

[freddiefrog]

and to have expected them to call me if they were sending her home?

Came home from dropping DD2 at school to find DD1 (who is 11 and started secondary school, 2 and a half weeks ago) sitting on the doorstep as she'd been sent home from school for not wearing correct uniform

DD1 stayed over at a friend's house on Friday night - friend's birthday and they were going out for a pizza and a sleepover. She went straight there from school on Friday and friend's dad dropped her home Saturday afternoon. When she got home she realised that she'd left her school shoes behind. We tried several times over the weekend to contact friend to get the shoes back, but we didn't manage to get hold of her until quite late last night so it was arranged that DD would meet her friend in the school reception area this morning and get her shoes.

DD went off to school this morning in a pair of plain black, lace up plimsoll type shoes with a note from me explaining what had happened. They're not uniform regulation shoes, however, she was only ever going to wear them to school and change into her proper shoes as soon as she got there so I thought it would be fine

She got as far as the gate when a teacher picked up on her shoes and wouldn't let her enter the school grounds and sent her home. DD says she tried to explain to the teacher that her friend was waiting for her in reception with her proper shoes, but he wouldn't listen to a word she said and refused to read the note I'd written.

What if I'd gone off to work or out for the day assuming my DD was safely in school? No one called me, they're not allowed mobile phones in school (they're confiscated every morning and returned every evening) so she doesn't take hers in with her so had no way of contacting me herself

I've taken her back and she's now in school, in the correct shoes, and I've asked for someone to call me as I'm really cross about it.

[geekgal]

There's talk of trying to get a campaign going about uniform problems in this country on MN, they may look into it in future:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_campaigns/1845858-Mumsnet-School-Uniform-campaign

[Tee2072]

"I would try and make the point that if they think she is responsible enough to be sent home at 11, without them checking whether she has got there or not, then she should be responsible enough to be listened to and treated with respect."

Yes, exactly this. Talk about mixed messages.

[soapboxqueen]

I think you are absolutely right to complain. As you said, the teacher could have asked her to come back out with her shoes on to prove what had happened. Not contacting a parent or carer is very wrong. Anything could have happened to her on her way home and you wouldn't have known there was a problem for 6-8 hours.

However, while the teacher in question might just be a jumped up nutter. It's more likely that the head teacher has created a blanket policy so that it is easier for the entire staff to follow. No uniform at the gate, no entry. No ifs, no buts, no coconuts.

However, depending on how convinced the head is on this policy, he may just pass the buck anyway.

[Merrylegs]

Well. It sounds as though the Head agrees with you.

At your meeting you want to say something like 'how can I reassure Dd this won't happen again'. And 'how can we we make sure DD is listened to?' You want to be seen as a parent who is working with the school and then any future problems you might have will be taken seriously.

The Head has apologized so, you know, that's a positive and responsible move.

[Cerisier]

I hope the Head listens to your concerns OP and acknowledges that they messed up big time.

My mantra as a teacher is to treat students how I would like to be treated and how I would want my own children to be treated.

This teacher has a lot to learn. One lesson would be not to blindly follow diktat but to use common sense and common decency.

[WorrySighWorrySigh]

Apparently, the best way to address problems is to start with the small things (uniform) and work up (according to the latest newsletter)

Oh my!

I think you need to challenge the head's logic there. The head is going to swamp him/herself with the trivia of which there is normally much before tackling the big and important issues of which there are normally few.

This is a head who has made a wrong turn career wise and should probably be in charge of nothing more complicated than the stationery cupboard.

[melliebobs]

This is bonkers n beggars belief. Marking my spot to see what the head had to say for themselves. The member of staff too

[JenaiMorris]

The blazer story is shocking. What a dreadful thing to do

[freddiefrog]

Meeting went ok with the head. She was actually really nice and agreed with me that this morning should never have happened.

Yes, I accept DD was wearing the incorrect shoes but she should have been allowed into collect the proper ones

She said she had hoped to speak to the teacher concerned before our meeting but didn't get a chance and would be addressing it with him later today.

I pointed out the uniform issues were causing a lot of upset with parents and told her about the facebook group, She is awarr of it and setting up a monthly parent forum and asking for parents to act as form reps specially for stuff like this

As for the sending home without contacting me, the teacher is supposed to take a list of Names so the office staff can contact parents and thinks I probably got home and called school myself before the office called. She did assure me that the school will contact me should it happen again

So meeting was ok!

[Lancelottie]

Well, semi-OK.

What if your DD had not been able to get home? Would contacting you to let you know that she'd left school be OK then? Surely a slightly better practice would be to have the child wait inside the school while they contacted a parent?

DD has no way of getting home outside regular school times barring a five-mile walk through fields. If other children are in that situation, what would the school's policy be?

[WorrySighWorrySigh]

As for the sending home without contacting me, the teacher is supposed to take a list of Names so the office staff can contact parents and thinks I probably got home and called school myself before the office called. She did assure me that the school will contact me should it happen again

Sorry but that is an utterly disgraceful response.

What were the school going to do if they hadnt managed to get hold of you? Was someone going to go back and get your DD?

Or more likely, there would have been a collective shrug from the school.

The school my DCs attend has an awful lot of looked after children, an awful lot of children with chaotic home lives. Sending a child home without thought is stupid beyond belief.

Get back to that head OP, her policy is potentially endangering children.

[Ginnytonic82]

The teacher refused to read your note and then sent home a year 7 without contacting you? That's terrible! If I, or any of my colleagues did that we'd be in serious trouble. The school has a legal duty if care for your daughter and should have made every effort to get in contact with you or her other nominated contact. As for refusing to read correspondence from a parent, that is ridiculous! What if your Dd had injured her foot over the weekend and needed to wear her plimsolls for medical reasons? You need to speak to the head, and ask your daughter for a description of the horrid teacher, if he's in playground uniform duty, it shouldn't be hard to identify him. Good luck!

[Justforlaughs]

I hope that she does take it up with the teacher in question and that your DD is ok over the incident.
Our local comp. is similar - in fact, if yours had had a male head teacher I might have thought you lived round here! Lots of children sent home for having the wrong uniform, down to having plain black "school shoes" which had a grey sole!!! My DD's friend had her coat confiscated for a week (not cold enough to wear coats yet!) - and got absolutely soaked on her way home! Children not allowed to remove school jumpers or even roll the sleeves up. I'm all for strict uniform rules but sometimes they can go to far.

[GoldenGytha]

Your DD's friend had her coat confisticated for a week Justforlaughs!!

That is bloody shocking and disgraceful, how can a school have authority over who wears coats or not,

And as for kids not even being allowed to roll their sleeves up! Words fail me.

How can any of this be good for our kids education.

I'm so glad that my DC school had none of these crazy rules.

[auntmargaret]

If a school confiscated my daughter's coat, I'd be reporting them to police for theft. What statutory right do these schools have to act this way? I'd be livid if my daughter got wet because the coat I sent her in was misappropriated. Thank Goodness I'm in Scotland, none of that stuff here.

[sashh]

Check the rules policy.

I went to school riding a dinosaur and we had to wear correct uniform on the way to and from school, not just there.

[JenaiMorris]

But sashh, often people don't have any choice about the school they send their children to. We were fortunate in that there was an alternative to schools obsessed with enforcing rules at all costs near us, others aren't so lucky.

[GoldenGytha]

Glad I'm in Scotland too auntmargaret

My DC have all left school now, but we never had any of this kind of nonsense here (Aberdeen) either.

I'd be beyond furious if my DC got wet just because the school saw fit to confiscate their coats too. What bloody right have the school got to do that?!

[BettyBotter]

Hi Freddie
So the head has mollified reassured you with a friendly chat.
So what will the outcome be? Will your or you dd get an apology from the teacher concerned? Will the policy on sending home be changed? How will you actually know that the teacher concerened has even been 'spoken to'? Will the teacher listen next time a year 7 needsa to tell them something?

I wouldn't let the head soft soap you with platitudes on this one. I'd want actual evidence of real action and some 'retraining' for this teacher regarding safeguarding and listening to children..

Don't let this lie without getting a real response for the sake of the next dc with the wrong buttons.

[LynetteScavo]

Glad you got a meeting with the head, and it was sort of OK.

I would have been beyond fuming!

So angry for you...my DC at that age would have been home alone all day.

The fact that this happened has 1) turned my stomach and 2) glad that my DS goes to a reasonable high school, who while are strict on uniform, would never have had this happen.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Both Ds1 and Ds2 went to really academic, selective schools, with a really strict uniform policies, when we lived in England - and even they were sensible and realistic, and were prepared to be flexible where there were genuine reasons for not wearing all the correct uniform. Like when ds1 injured his foot, and couldn't get his school shoes on. Or if a child lost their tie - the ties were only available at the school uniform shop, or the office, both of which are on school grounds - otherwise a boy who'd lost their tie would have been in a catch22 situation.

Re. coats - I would not stand for the school telling me whether my child could wear a coat - and I would be kicking up merry hell if they confiscated their coat and the child was soaked by the rain on the way home.

[freddiefrog]

Sorry, was posting from phone earlier as kids were on the computer so I was trying to make it brief fat fingers!

They know she's within walking distance due to the entrance she uses at school. Basically, the school is in the middle of a housing estate, the walkers have use an entrance at the end of the footpath, which is where she was stopped. Buses and those who drive enter via a bus/car rank at the rear of the school (the residents complained about the traffic congestion so they created a separate drive way iyswim)

But yes, I agree that they should take them into reception and have them wait there until they've contacted parents if they really must insist on sending them home and said I thought it was dangerous and irresponsible to send kids home, especially the younger ones, without letting someone know. As it was DD1 was sat on the doorstep for 5 minutes, but school weren't to know whether I was home, whether I'd gone for a day out with friends, at work, whatever. If something happened, I wouldn't know for at least 7 hours. She "took my comments on board"

The head knows exactly which teacher it is and promised me she was having a meeting with him directly after our meeting as she wanted to address the issue with him

Anyway, it wasn't the complete waste of time I thought it would be and she didn't deny it happened, it was good to hear about the parents forum and actually, she's a nice woman who seemed happy to listen to what I had to say.

We'll see!

[freddiefrog]

I'm not too happy about the coat situation, I don't see that a teacher (who no doubt travels in a nice warm car and wears a coat when it's cold) can dictate when my child wear a coat to school, but having said that, DD would rather freeze than be seen dead in a coat, so I'm not sure it's a battle worth waging at the moment.

The children have to keep their blazers on at all times, unless a teacher gives permission to remove them in class - all during that heatwave in July the kids had to wear blazers to and from school, in 30 degree heat, ridiculous. When we got home DD mentioned that one of her friends asked to remove her blazer in class today as she was hot - the teacher wouldn't let her as her friend said "can I take my blazer off" instead of "may I?" It seemed a bit power crazy. Poor girl was hot and uncomfortable, not bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready to learn

If she repeatedly went to school in non uniform shoes, I'd expect them to bollock her. Not one day in a pair of plain black inoffensive pumps when her proper shoes were waiting for her in school

They just need to be realistic and apply a bit of common sense. With the best will in the world stuff like this happens.

I'm going to email the head and summarise our meeting, reiterating my concerns.

[redcaryellowcar]

I am in total agreement that you should write to them, it doesn't sound like this teacher even tried to listen to your daughter, which I find particularly amazing as I am sure if your daughter wasn't listening in and around school to a teacher she would be in all sorts of trouble!

[Orangeanddemons]

As a teacher, can just say, it is against the law to send children home if they are wearing the wrong uniform. My school never ever does it, they have a nice pile of second hand uniform for offenders to wear, including a nice line in black slip on pumps.

I cannot, just cannot believe what happened here, it breaks every safe guarding rule there is