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AIBU?

To be pissed of with a yr 6 child strangling my 6 year old...

48 replies

ghostspirit · 20/09/2013 20:41

My 6 year old had to go breakfast club this morning he has only ever been once before today and that was couple of years ago. and a child from year 6 strangled him. I spoke to the head about it and she agreed its not on. anyway i went to pick up my older son from keystage 2. and she walked up to the boy and told him stop messing about with your orange then she just walked of and did not say a thing to him....and because of all that being on my mind i forgot my 3 year old and almost went home without her!

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littlewhitebag · 20/09/2013 21:19

So what marks does your child have? Are they still visible?

ghostspirit · 20/09/2013 21:22

yeah i know the discipline cant happen in front of me i get that... I think i had that feeling of my sons been strangled and your talking about an orange.... but yeah i get it

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ghostspirit · 20/09/2013 21:22

no marks now

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littlewhitebag · 20/09/2013 21:26

So in fact your child has not been strangled. If he had he would have most certainly had marks on his neck. Do you have a context for what happened? Were they playing? Was one child annoying the other? Was anything said by either child?

Smartiepants79 · 20/09/2013 21:34

To be fair without knowing anything about the other child or any corroboration from the breakfast club staff I'd be going in a bit more carefully.
What had happened before the strangling incident? Had there been an argument? Was just out of the blue (unlikely). In my experience yr 6 kids have little or no interest in 6 yr olds unless provoked.
Does the yr 6 child have SEN?
I would never discipline a child in public especially without doing a bit of investigating first.

ghostspirit · 20/09/2013 21:34

my son cried and the other child had his hands round his neck and squeezed thats enough.... it dont matter if there are no longer marks does not make it ok or mean that the child should get away wit what he done

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Sirzy · 20/09/2013 21:37

To be fair you have one side of the story here, and from a young child who may not be the most reliable.

yes raise it with the school but wait until the full story has been established before jumping to any conclusions.

ghostspirit · 20/09/2013 21:37

no my 6 year old does not have sen. they were playing some sort of board game and the game had finished so my son went to set it up again then the older boy strangled him. I don't think a year 6 has to be provoked

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littlewhitebag · 20/09/2013 21:40

I never said the other child should get away with anything if he has behaved badly. However, using the term 'strangle' is very emotive. I am trying to work out the context of what has happened.
It may be that your son misconstrued the older child playing or the older child was maybe being mean, however, as smartiepants79 said, there needs to be some investigation of what actually occurred before any disciplining is carried out.

ghostspirit · 20/09/2013 21:42

yes that is fair enough about it being looked at... if i should not called putting his hands round my sons neck and squeezing it strangling. then what should i call it ?

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Smartiepants79 · 20/09/2013 21:45

I asked does the older Yr 6 child have SEN. Not your son.
In my 10 yr teaching experience it is very unusual for a child to attack another child in this fashion without some kind of reason.
I'm not questioning that your son was injured. I'm just wondering, as any self-respecting Head teacher would, WHY he has been injured.
What preceded the attack? Are there any extenuating circumstances? The answer to these questions would determine how the older child was dealt with.

littlewhitebag · 20/09/2013 21:47

The definition of strangulation as far as i understand would be 'death by constriction of the windpipe'. That is not what you are talking about. Therefore i would not call it strangulation. I might say that a child put their hands round my child's neck.

ghostspirit · 20/09/2013 21:51

oh sorry smarties... The year 6 child could have i dont really know him.. he is in same class as my older son i do he has problems in class. is sent out alot and my older son said 3 teachers had to tell him to get out of the classroom for being discructive. and there are often complaints about the same boy. so yes could have i guess

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AgentZigzag · 20/09/2013 21:52

It is a very specific thing for your DS to say though isn't it?

And very worrying if a yr 6 did that to a yr 2, putting your hands round someone's neck is a very deliberate act.

But like the other posters have said, it's better to believe your DS in front of him but reserve total judgement until you've heard what the adults there say about it.

YANBU to be fuming on your DS's behalf though, how is he?

fixlepix · 20/09/2013 21:54

Firstly, I hope you little one was ok I imagine that must have been a terrifying experience for him/her, I would also like to know if the older child has SN and the biggest question on my mind is why on earth the breakfast club staff weren't supervising the children in their care more, well, carefully!!! And as for the suggestion above that he didn't need to be in breakfast club and it's your choice as a mother well that's down to whatever your circumstances may be so that comment is just ridiculous.

In short yanbu to be pissed off I'd be fucking livid, yabu to expect the child to be disciplined with you there. The head teacher would have to gather all of the information before anything could be done

littlewhitebag · 20/09/2013 21:54

I don't disagree that this needs to be looked into but you need to reserve judgement until you find out the full story. I hope you get to the bottom of it soon.

ghostspirit · 20/09/2013 21:55

i just asked my son when he did it could you breath he said no... and i just asked what sound was you making and he made a coughing/chocking sound so i think that is strangling..

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Sirzy · 20/09/2013 21:56

So you got a phone call to take your son to hospital then I assume?

Otherwise I would say the more you post the more it sounds like he is exaggerating!

AgentZigzag · 20/09/2013 22:01

I'm confused now fixle, I think the post saying he didn't need to be at the breakfast club was saying he shouldn't be there because the poster read the OP as the DS being 'strangled' when he was there two years ago and it's not on for him to have to put up with it, rather than he went two years ago and was 'strangled' this morning.

I think, it can read both ways, I presumed it was this morning, it'd be a bit late the OP getting round to complaining two years after it.

ghostspirit · 20/09/2013 22:07

zigzag yes your right. sorry it was not very clear... and yes would be a bit odd to complain about something that happend 2 years ago

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WorraLiberty · 20/09/2013 22:37

The head is probably waiting to speak to the breakfast club staff before taking any action.

BeetleBugBaby · 20/09/2013 22:39

Fucking hell if I found out this were true I'd go bonkers at them, could have killed him! I would make sure the Year 6 child was completely aware of this and what their actions could have caused!

fixlepix · 21/09/2013 10:42

Ahh makes more sense now

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