To not want 3 year olds encouraged to have 'girlfriends' etc.

[theresmoretolife]

My DS is at preschool, and one mum is particular keeps saying my DS is her daughters boyfriend. She's always asking her daughter who her boyfriend is, and who she's going to marry. They're 3! AIBU to find this immensely irritating or should I just accept that she means no harm by it and relax a bit!

[RoonilWazlibWuvsHermyown]

YANBU. Whenever we used to see ex-ps sister, she would always be talking about her three year olds boyfriends and asking her "who's your boyfriend this week? Tell uncle ex-p who you kissed this week!" followed by "she's just like her mam was at that age, chasing after men already!". Its just creepy. Why why why would you want to encourage that kind of stuff at three years old?!

[Mojavewonderer]

I agree op it's just awful and I really dislike it. They are only children for a short while, why do people insist on dragging their kids up as quickly as possible.

[Lottapianos]

'Or I say you never know, your boy might be gay'

That'll shut them up quick smart!

[ButterMyArse]

A woman on a train was going on and on about how my 2-year-old dd was 'being a flirt' as she was laughing with a couple of men sat across from us. I kept my mouth shut but was getting angrier and angrier. Eventually dd's attentions moved to a group of young girls and she was smiling and waving at them. The woman exclaimed "Oh look, she's a little lezzer!"

I'm afraid I exploded. Why can't children simply be children without (some) people assigning adult motivations and feelings to their actions?

[DuelingFanjo]

Thepowerof3 I think I would be a bit worried about how much 'getting married is what you should aim for/want' stuff my daughters were being exposed to, to be honest.

[Beastofburden]

I dislike it, as I dislike putting small girls in bikinis. Boy/girlfriends belong to a later phase of life. Agree its all a bit "Under-fives beauty pageant" for my taste.

[TheRunawayTrain]

ThePowerof3 we were once 'invited' by DD1 tl go to her room. She was holding hands with her two brothers and her cousin (cousin was a boy too) as well as the cousin's teddy bear (who was meant to be a girl). Very solemnly, they all promised they would grow up and marry each other.

She's now 13 and dies of embarrassment whenever I show her the video I have of it. And she has decided that a) she will never be married and b) she will never ever have children. How it's changed...

[Lottapianos]

Dear god Butter, what an utter muppet. Some people are just so thick. When you 'exploded', what did you say and how was it received?

Well done for speaking up by the way

[bundaberg]

it drives me mad too. it's just WEIRD!

like when people say their baby is sexy and things like that. wtf?

[avolt]

I can't stand it personally. My dm once described my toddler as "promiscuous" which I thought was totally bonkers. She was at that stage of just being openly friendly to people and smiling at them.

Although dd has unprompted announced that she's going to marry a particular boy or girl. It makes me cringe, especially when the parent of the dc hears it. Believe me, we don't encourage it, it just happens.

[SirChenjin]

I hate this too - it's toe curling and completely inappropriate, but some parent's seem obsessed with their children having boyfriends and girlfriends. They are usually the children who grow up far too quickly sadly

[HeffalumpTheFlump]

Yanbu I don't like it either. I think children this age should be encouraged to have lots of friends, not one special boyfriend or girlfriend.

[MrsMook]

My friend banters about DS and her DD and it doesn't bother me. We're not really arranging a marriage a la Jane Austin era. (We'll probably have another round our DC2s are the same combination and age gap again). The joke came about from their first meeting when they fell asleep, stretched out and held hands looking very cute.

I had "boyfriends" between 4-9. The boyfriend/ victim would sometimes get a peck on the cheek that he'd rather not have had. As a teenager I wasn't bothered about boyfriends, and didn't dable until well into uni days. I'm married to my first proper boyfriend, so it didn't exactly corrupt my sexual morals. I have plenty of platonic male friends. It was a form of play. Anything involving a Disney princess gets into the theme on some level- yes the modern ones are a bit more assertive and sassy, but there's plenty of children's culture that sets the ideas of boyfriends and girlfriends up.

I'm happy to banter about it, but it's banter, and the reality is my DSs are perfectly at liberty to make their own mind up when the appropriate time comes.

[TallyGrenshall]

DS is 4 and he has a girlfriend. It started with a love note and 2 days later announced he was X's boyfriend and she was his girlfriend.

No encouragement from me, I was just informed

[SPsTotallyMullerFuckingLicious]

My son tells me he has girlfriends. He doesn't kiss them or anything though because that's 'eerrr' but he shares his scooter and toys with them

I dont have an issue with him saying it.

[Pigsmummy]

I hate it too, I also hate it when people that there babies are flirting, no they are bloody not, they are babies smiling at each other! Sexualising early is because of this shite.

[Pigsmummy]

Sorry I meant when people say that their babies are flirting.

[2rebecca]

Kids saying it fine, parents encouraging it yuk. Let them be kids. My best friend when I was 5 was a boy. I think friends commenting in a "he's your boyfriend" style did adversely affect the friendship as it made us feel awkward, but kids will be kids. Parents should know better.

[ButterMyArse]

Lotta - I said something like "do you mind? She's not a lesbian, she's not flirting, she's an infant. What is wrong with you?"

The woman blustered and said she was "only joking" and then sat there with a grim face.

Everyone on our carriage was silent, waiting to see if anything else would happen. Thankfully we were pulling into the station at this point!

[Thepowerof3]

Jeez, they've just been bridesmaids at a wedding that's probably why they said it! Why do some people jump to the most sinister conclusion!

[Lottapianos]

Good for you Butter. Hopefully she went away and had a good think about the idiotic nature of what she had said.

[NipLash]

I don't like this either. I remember it making me very uncomfortable and embarrassed when I was little, and it made me feel very awkward around boys.

[ElleBelly]

Yanbu. The MIL among others keeps asking DD this "have you got a boyfriend yet?!" now shes started school, and seems to find it hilarious, can't fathom how she hasn't got the message that I hate it, as I am stony faced each time. And it always seems to be utter fuckwits who ask.

[Thepowerof3]

My sisters DD kissed another toddler girl on the cheek when they were 15 months old and the other mother said 'No no, girls kiss boys' !