Nose members of the public

[nesticles]

DH and I are both blind and very comfortable about talking/answering questions about it. but since having our sighted ds I am getting increasingly angry about one question members of the public ask us "is he blind too?" and when we say no they often go on to ask "was that a fear?". I litterally see red lol and often find it hard not to flip my lid. I know people have questions as we do things differently like pull our buggy and have Guide dogs but really? am I being unreasonable? DH things I might just be a bit over sensative. Am I? or is it a rather rude question?

oh nesticles the dog and the map is the best thing I've read all day...!

"how do you have sex?".

With the lights on.
Or
With the lights off.

Whatever you prefer.

And still laughing at the dog reading the map.

froken-this really is a genuine question as I was reading your post about your dps aunt and uncle,if someone offers them a seat on a train-as I would do if I was in an easy to access seat-and they are told they are as capable of standing as the person offering the seat is it surprising the same people would be reluctant to offer more assistance with regards to changing train etc.
I really don't want that to sound arsey but surely a simple 'no thanks I'm ok' is all that's needed,if I offered my seat for any reason but was given a response like that I would be unsure about offering help for anything else despite the offer of a seat being nothing to do with the actual ability to stand rather offering someone whose journey may be harder than mine whether that's because of pregnancy.disability,young children,age,luggage etc

I love this thread!

All of this slightly tangentially reminds me of Eric Weihenmayer who I think was the first blind person to climb Everest and he had this theory about sighted people who have this "even I" syndrome.

Here's an Q&A he did about it:

INTERVIEWER: Explain what you mean by the "Even I" syndrome.

WEIHENMAYER: It's funny, because people will come up to me after a presentation, and they'll say, "Man, I think that's so incredible what you did. Even I with two perfectly working eyes couldn't make it up Everest." And I laugh, because here's a guy who lives in Orlando and smokes a pack of cigarettes a day. It's like, "Dude, do you think the difference between success and failure has to do with perfectly working eyes?" It's a compliment in their minds, so I take as that, and laugh. Two good eyes may be part of the equation, but there are so many other qualities that make a person successful, like the skill and talent you develop, the time you devote to it, and your persistence

INTERVIEWER: And the fact that he has a beer belly and hasn't exercised in two years.

WEIHENMAYER: Yeah, you're 70 years old, you're in Orlando, you've never walked more than a mile in your life. What makes you think you could climb a mountain with perfectly working eyes? It goes well beyond that. They mean it as a compliment, and I accept their intent.

I really don't thunk it is ment/said in a rude way. Dp's uncle is tge loveliest guy, his tone would be more jokey than dismissive.

Ok,I really didn't mean that to sound off but I was thinking how I would react because I have offered seats before and been made to feel stupid and rude for doing so.
I think most people do have a genuine intention to help but feel afraid of saying the wrong thing.

I have often wondered if blind people should be offered seats in public transport or not.

Sure, most are quite capable of standing, but they may not be aware of when a seat becomes free and are more likely to stand, or for longer, than the other passengers.

It is a lovely thread :) OP you made me properly laugh with the dog reading the map / eating the map. Still giving me the giggles.

YANBU to be annoyed but people really don't understand all the different reasons for blindness. I already tell everyone DD is doomed to be a spec wearer because both DH and I have terrible eyesight. This might be complete bollocks

Anyway if you don't mind me saying so your thread is a breath of fresh air - really informative and funny too. You sound awesome and your DS too. Laughing at the spoon loading thing too - DD calmly hands spoon over for me to load, then seizes it like a tiny savage.

I don't think he's particularly clever, I think he's realised the quickest way to get more food is to give mummy back the spoon. as I type this he is repeatedly banging himself over the head with a stacking cup and laughing. Although saying that the baby lab has done a study with blind parents and sighted babies that does suggest that sighted children of blind parents are better at communicating by six months than sighted babies with sighted parents. it is only a small study for obvious reasons but interesting never the less.

Lo ds at your "tiny savage" comment ds is exactly the same. I find the offering a seat debate quite interesting cos if someone offeres me a seat I'll always take it as I like to make sure my dog is out of the way so she doesn't get trodden on and i'm really lazy lol...but some bline people (the really grumpy ones) imo get really arsie about it for some reasonn I found that when I was pregnant people stopped offering me a seat weird. I got asked once if my dog needed a seat as well. can you imagine a 26 kg black lab sitting next to you on the DLR reading her Metro? lol

Don't let her read the Metro, it is full of right wing crap!!
I will get her a subscription to the New Statesman if she promises to give up her seat!!

PS could you write a blog? I love your writing style and keep giggling at the thought of you being drunk and laughing in the middle of London.
I am sure you have more tales to entertain and lighten us?

Can the dog help with my crossword clues?

I wish I had seen your dog on a seat!

I will make sure to offer blind people with dogs seats in the future, my dp's aunt and uncle don't have dogs anymore but I can understnad that a dog needs to be kept out of the way!

I can very well believe the reaserch that says seeing children of blind parents have better communication skills early on, I have been told stories of dp's cousin guiding his fathers hand to a drink on the table when he was a very small child (they said when he was ds's age which at the time was 8 months, I don't think it really could have been that early but I could very well be wrong!)

Op, my dad was blind (RP) and I'm laughing and nodding at some of the comments. My mum got "do you have to dress him" said in front of him once, and more than one person thought that he was faking it to get benefits. She got the sex question and people were always explaining things to the guide dog instead of him. I'm proud that I had such an inspirational role model for a parent - there was literally nothing he couldn't do, and always felt that disability is more a mindset issue than a physical one.

Lol at do you have to dress him. Dear god do these people think we're deaf as well? I'd love to write a blog but being a mummy of a very lively but wonderful ds leaves me completely nackered. Oh god I have so many tales. I lived in central London a few years ago and my dog and I were doing some shopping in a Tesco local (one we used regularly) and I walked out having payed for my shopping and got half way home when someone tapped me on the shoulder and told me my dog had some bread in her mouth. I thought it might just be a piece of sandwiche...but no it was a foot long french stick that she had stolen that nowone in Tesco had the courage to tell me about. we lived at this place for another year and I was so embarrased that I always sent dh to do any shopping. She is sucha naughty little monkey but having the freedom to walk down fith avenue by myself makes it all worth it.

OP i am doing yet another night feed with my pfb and this thread has made me so happy! You sound so LOVELY!!

Plus your child is amazing!!!

Love the stolen bread in Tesco story!!!

Just read in the paper about a guide dog who pulled away from her owner to push the baby's pram out of the way of a car. The car hit the owner but at least the baby was safe. Bit of a Sophie's choice for the dog.

nesticles You're missing a golden opportunity there! Train that dog to recognise gin and packs of fillet steak. Start NOW.

at your shoplifting, map-reading dog. And at Jesus (and there's a sentence I never imagined writing...)

p.s. there was a story in my local paper about a bakery turning away a customer with a guide dog 'because we don't allow dogs in here'. The owner was VERY apologetic when he realised what had happened. But now I'm wondering if the shop assistant used to work at your Tescos and believes all guide dogs are bread thieves...

I am loving the map reading, gin thieving guide dog. Definitely needs to be part of their training.

NeyiteFri, It is so lovely to hear that about your dad. I hope ds feels like that about us when he's older. Dh and I have never let it stop us doing anything including skiing and working/studying in the states. Jesus I would but am vegetarian so not sure what I'd do with the meat but bring on the Gin., knowing my bull-in-a-china-shop dog she would send all the bottles flying and then I would smell like a gin and tonic lol. I guess I could smell worse! Edam my dog has developed a reputation for stealing bread as she's done it at the co-op as well but unlucky for her I noticed and took it off her...if only she'd start stealing cute shoes I’d work with her. My puppy is definitely a character...we could be in any part of the country and she will always try and take me in to a William Hill. I have no idea why that particular shop is attractive. I know the girl who had that unfortunate accident, but I might sound sceptical I can't imagine how a dog would be able to push a buggy out the way if anything the dog probably got scared and somehow pushed in to it and it was a complete coincidence. My dog and I are a very close and bonded partnership but I don't think she would understand about saving a life. I just feel it makes a better story if the guide dog made a conscious choice to save the baby probably the papers sensationalising things.
I don't think ds would ever help me find a drink...knowing my son he'd probably be trying to take it for himself. I find it so interesting the people always say to us "god it must be so blind being blind and having a baby!" but the honest truth is that we've been blind all/most of our lives...so we're good at being blind, it's just the parent thing that's hard work and that is the case for every first time parent sighted or not. I was used to finding work arounds...but i was not used to fanjo stitches and no sleep lol.

Ooops should read "got it must be so hard being blind and a parent!" too much wine whilst ds is at dm's for the night. have been to see the Bodyguard a-fucking-mazing btw.

Unfortunately Edam Guide Dogs are refused all the time from places even though it is illegal to do so. I have waited many times in the rain (once even 37 weeks pregnant with pgp) and a taxi saw the dog (it was early Jan) and drove off. Bastard! makes me anbry!

nesticles, I'm curious (hopefully this is not a question that the english find offensive... )...how did you find life in the USA as a blind person as compared to what you find in the UK? I am American, so am biased, but feel that disabilities of all sorts are far more accommodated in the USA. For example, I have never seen anyone refuse service to a blind person, or someone in a wheel chair in the USA, but saw that type of discrimination all the time when I lived in the UK. I was just wondering if it's my bias (or even just that most of my time in the USA was in either LA or NYC and my time in the UK was in London and maybe none of those cities are representative of the rest of the country.