to not want to bother my Uncle with my friends request?

[WonderBarbara]

Hi all, wondering if you can give me some advice on a dilemma I am having,

A friend of mine, lets call her Jane for this, recently told me she is planning to work for a scheme abroad, lets say just for this, its Melbourne, as part of her scheme she would be living in work accommodation provided. I said "oh its lovely there, my Uncle lives there!". She then told me that the company requires her to put down an Australian address, as a second address for administrative purposes and that they will not accept her otherwise, and she asked me if she could put down my Uncle's address.
I was a bit taken a back to be honest as my Uncle is a 70-odd year old gentleman who doesn't know Jane at all, and I think it would be a bit silly to phone him and ask him, as it doesn't sit well with me - I just think its weird. I do trust her, and she is a good friend, but I just think so much could go wrong, i.e. would my Uncle have the authorities knocking on his door for her, or get her mail posted to him? would he have to provide proof or give a reference? She assured me that none of this would happen and it is required purely for administration, as her main address would be registered as the place she would be staying.

I just don't know if I want to bother my Uncle with all this to be honest But DH thinks I could at least phone him and ask him, or give Jane his email address so she can ask him herself.

What do you think? AIBU to think she should sort out a second address herself? Or shall I contact my Uncle?

[Isabeller]

"I want to have all the details of the scheme so I can explain it properly to my Uncle" it seems perfectly reasonable for you to look into it yourself before approaching an older relative with a potential imposition and you might discover a perfectly valid reason to say "no I couldn't as him to do x".

[EldritchCleavage]

I don't buy the 'just for administrative reasons' excuse. No one seeks an address just for that. But equally, I wouldn't seek clarification, I'd just say no to Jane.

[happystory]

Just say no

[Tabliope]

Say your mother says he's got the start of some illness and she's told you not to bother him. Lots of good replies from people that you can use. Horrible to lie but by asking your uncle you're putting him on the spot to say no and feel bad towards you.

[Morloth]

Yes be aware it may be to do with 'sponsoring' her.

Australian immigration is serious business. Not to be messed around with.

[TootiesFrootie]

Sorry, but you are being a bit of a wuss
Tell your friend that you are sorry but you have had a rethink and you don't want to ak your Uncle after all. That's it! No apologies and no explanation. Repeat as necessary.

Don't overthink this..

[MidniteScribbler]

It sounds odd to me. Many visa applications do ask for you to nominate someone who will sponsor you (I sponsored my (now ex) husband when he was applying to come to Australia. I had to show evidence that I could support him as he had no access for any government benefits. When he landed in Oz he was interviewed by immigration and I actually got a phone call asking me to confirm that I was sponsoring him and that I was willing to be responsible for any costs, accommodation, etc.

It seems really dodgy. Are you sure she doesn't want to list him as her "sponsor"?

[Rootvegetables]

I think I had this when I had a visa there you can just put a hostel address I think it's just a box they need to tick. I'd just keep it vague say you haven't been able to get in touch if she asks, I wouldn't give his address.

[zatyaballerina]

That sounds dodgy, why would they be expected to have an Austrailian address? And the company provides accommodation? It makes no sense.

I wouldn't bother your elderly uncle with it. Even if he would be happy with it (unlikely), I still wouldn't because it just doesn't make sense, the company sounds suspicious. Just don't.

[LemonPeculiarJones]

The thing is, it's v unlikely it's just needed purely for administrative reasons. That would make it completely superfluous. There is probably some reason it's needed other than that - it could rope your uncle into being responsible for something with regards to her stay. And even something trifling would be an annoyance - he doesn't even know this person.

Perhaps ring the scheme and enquire about the purpose of this second address?

Or of you can't be bothered (doubt I would be) say your uncle said no.

Doesn't sound like your friend even asked you really - just assumed!

[WonderBarbara]

Then again.....actually, come to think of it, the easiest hassle free way would be a little white lie....as much as I don't like lying I am so frigging tempted

[WonderBarbara]

Thank you again for replies!

Sorry I disappeared, got caught up in the chaos that is dinner and bedtime with dc etc.
I don't know enough about the scheme to explain it really. From what she was saying it really is simply a scheme that takes workers from UK but they must put down an Aussie address, even though the company provides accommodation, its the first time I've heard of it so perhaps I will ask her for more info. I hate the idea of lying to her, would there by any way I could contact my uncle and ask him in an VERY light hearted, no pressure, very easy going way? I was thinking of contacting him and asking if he had heard of any of these schemes and the company and kind of very slowly drop my friend in the conversation........

[Yonionekanobe]

I agree with BackforGood. This seems a bit odd. If it is a scheme to allow people from overseas to work in Australia why the need for a second address?

[Cheddars]

You could say you've phoned but he's moving to a retirement home soon so it won't be possible.

[McNewPants2013]

I would ask my uncle, I am a rubbish liar and wouldn't lie to a friend anyway.

[Crinkle77]

All sounds a bit odd to me. As others have suggested just say you have asked your uncle and he said no. She will never know

[SuzySheepSmellsNice]

When I went to Mexico to study, my fairly new Mexican friend who I'd only actually met once in real life told me I could stay with his gran for a few days while I got myself sorted out. Lovely. So when I finally managed to get to the city I was going to live in, I called her number from the bus station to let her know I had arrived. I got a taxi to the house, introduced myself as her DGSs friend, and she showed me to my room and got me some dinner. We got along brilliantly, she kind of adopted me into the family and I ended up staying with her for the year! I had a wonderful time, and got to experience a much more authentic Mexico (food, customs, language, culture etc) than any of my friends.
Turns out her DGS had never even mentioned me to her, I was just some random 20 year old English girl who turned up on her doorstep looking scared and tired! thanks Alistair but bless her, she took me in.

I don't think its always a bad idea to help out a friend in need. This lady had never even met me, and now she's like a second Gran to me :)

[CoffeeTea103]

Just say that you ran it past your uncle and he wasn't too keen

[SupermansBigRedPants]

I'd fib too, no point causing grief for yourself with either your uncle or your friend when a wee white lie'd prevent it.

[BackforGood]

Good idea by Lj8893
As an aside, what kind of a scheme recruits people in the UK, but will only employ them if they happen to already know someone that's living out there ? I would be checking that she knew it was all 'legit', and getting her to ask why they wanted that and what they did when people don't know people.

[MackerelOfFact]

I'd fib too, say you spoke to him and it turns out he'll be moving house soon and doesn't know his new address yet.

[Lj8893]

To be honest I would fib and say my uncle said no.

[missgrainger]

Tell her he's moved to New Zealand

[trashcanjunkie]

You could fib and say your uncle wasn't keen....

[trashcanjunkie]

You could fib and say your uncle wasn't keen....