Friend - Rent - She wants me out!

[PuffandStuff]

My friend was given an HA flat a few years ago - she has since moved in with her husband to a beautiful (mortgaged) home and I have been renting her flat. I recently lost my job but because its a HA flat I can't claim HB - She begged me to move in against my better judgement as she wanted someone she could trust in it (told her she needs to give it back but she says it her flat!)

I have been working self employed and have some money coming in soon but at the moment I'm in arrears with my rent - which when it comes through I can settle up with her and find another flat - she is fuming and wants me out - I am penniless at the moment and have nowhere to go - if she could wait 2 more weeks I can pay her all that I owe her - she won't wait - I'm one month in arrears at the moment.

I'm refusing to budge - she has threatened to come and throw all my stuff out! We have been friends for 20 years and I can't understand why she is being like this - AIBU?

[Cravey]

I don't think the whys and reasons matter, both these are breaking the law. Op needs to seek advice ASAP. She will without a doubt be implicated in this subletting saga.

[JaquelineHyde]

The OPs current situation is heart breaking and I hope that there is news of her husband soon and that the sale of her house goes through asap.

However, there are families on the housing list in situations similar to and worse than the OP's. Families who are living in nasty dangerous conditions, who have been waiting years for a housing association property.

The OP is doing the right thing in moving out and returning to her Mum's where both her and her daughters can stay knowing that, although they are a little cramped, they are safe and not under the constant threat of eviction.

The OP was wrong to take up her friends offer of the flat and has learnt her lesson the hard way. Now the OP must report her friend to the HA so that the property can be reclaimed and a family in a situation similar or worse than hers can be allocated a safe home.

If the OP fails to do this then I can not have any sympathy for her situation and would not expect anyone else to sympathise with her either as she would be showing such disregard for others when she knows exactly how hard life can be.

Move out and report your 'friend' OP!

[Jolleigh]

Not read ALL of the thread but from what I've read, I don't feel there are enough people pointing this out:

OP and the 'friend' went into this agreement with them both being in full possession of the facts...if OP hit money worries, there would be very little that could be done without highlighting the illegal sublet. The friend trusted that the OP wouldn't allow that to happen and as technically she's the one doing something illegal, she shouldered that responsibility so that her and the OP could enter into a mutually beneficial agreement. The OP has not kept to her end of the agreement and now the friend is panicking.

Neither of you smells of roses and personally I think those knowingly entering illegal sublets should be subject to the same penalties as those subletting.

Have the decency to get out of the house ASAP so that the HA can give it to someone truly deserving. Tell the 'friend' that if she doesn't inform the HA that the property is now vacant, you will.

I suppose whether or not you pay what you owe will depend on whether you have any intention of salvaging the friendship.

[BinarySolo]

And the op had somewhere to stay, albeit a floor at her mother's house. I'm always slightly suspicious of threads that have massive drip feeds like this after the op has been told they are being unreasonable.

How long have you been back in the uk op? How long were you working here before you lost your job? If you're self employed are you registered with hrmc?

[WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo]

Spot on, different there is a queue of people waiting for properties, there is no way for us to know if Puff is going to be even eligible for social housing. I suspect she might fail the habitual residence test.

[differentnameforthis]

it suddenly seems very fair that you get a break!

More fair than those who are currently on it, who have probably been on it for years, who are also living on floors, in properties with less than adequate facilities.

The housing situation isn't ideal, but to let people jump queues is unfair, regardless of their hardship. It can take years to get to the top of a list, why should op walk into a home when someone had been waiting several years on a list?

[differentnameforthis]

Why are people on becool's back? the ops update doesn't negate what she is doing.

Yes, I agree that she has been through a shit time, but that doesn't mean she can break the law & take away a home from someone who has been waiting years for it. A lot of people on the housing register aren't there for fun reasons either, and many have escape bad situations themselves.

Bad situations don't give us the right to lose our moral compass & jump queues when we see fit.

[QuintessentialShadows]

Poor you. It must be hard selling a house in Egypt in the current circumstances. How are you getting on with that?

I agree you need to seem somebody about help. Not least there must be some diplomatic channels to see about finding out about your husband. Can you do so through his place of work?

[differentnameforthis]

You are already 4 weeks behind in rent. You want her to let you go 2 more. You are taking advantage of her good nature, because if you were renting from anyone (inc council) you would not be allowed to get 6 weeks in arrears with no come back.

I think you would be wrong to shop her, as some have said you should, because I bet she isn't (or wasn't) charging you the going rate, I expect that you didn't pay a deposit either.

Just because she is a fried it doesn't mean that you can expect huge favours. Ok, so she shouldn't be renting it out, but it is unfair to drop her in it because (oh, how unreasonable) she wants you to pay the rent you agreed to pay!

[WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo]

No, Cravey, the housing association will not 'be kind enough to help them out with somewhere to live' it doesn't work like that. OP needs proper advice from Shelter, preferably as the CAB are worse than useless in my experience.

[skyeskyeskye]

I have read the full thread and advice now is different to what I was going to put because of the additional info you have given about having to leave Egypt. If you had stated that st the beginning, it would have gained you different advice to what you received.

Please go and see shelter, CAB, SS, your MP, anybody who can help. If you have had to flee another country, presumably losing all your possessions as well as your home, then you need proper advice. I would have thought that you would qualify for some housing if you have four DC.

Regarding your H, you must be worried sick and is anything being done to help locate him? Are the embassy involved?

[Cravey]

Call the ha and explain the situation, you may find they are kind enough to help you out with somewhere to live. Don't talk to your friend until you have spoken to the ha. Maybe also think twice if you fond yourself in this situation again. You are abetting her. Well in the eyes of the law anyway. It's fraud. It's a huge crime. Not just for her though so be careful what you say to the ha.

[burberryqueen]

becool, that is not "cool" at all leave the woman alone

[Awomansworth]

BeCool Have you actually read the OP update...

FFS... what sort of person kicks someone when they are already on the floor.

[BeCool]

Wow puff YOU are waiting for the sale of YOUR house!!!

You do know social housing is for people who are for do many reasons, excluded from owning property.

Taking the piss out of our overburdened social housing system is one thing. Two home owners doing it is another.

And you feel so overly entitled you post for help here. Good Lordy.

[burberryqueen]

I think you should stay where you are and make an appointment with CAB or Shelter, oh and change the locks.

[LIZS]

Are you and your dc UK nationals and/or are you eligible to work in UK ? While I'm sorry for your plight (and presumably there is a whole back story) realistically you may not be in position where the LA are able to help. Return to your mum's and then tell HA the property is empty.

[WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo]

There is an awful lot of really bad advice and frankly totally wrong information on this thread being passed on as 'fact' by posters.
Housing Law is very strict, it doesn't matter what you think the Housing Association should do, or if you think that sub-letting is allowed.

Please get proper accurate information from Shelter regarding this situation OP.

[Tabby1963]

I am so, so sorry to hear about your situation, Puff. You must be out of your mind with worry right now. I hope you can get help to be rehoused soon.

[tattychicken]

That's a completely different picture Puff. You could well be entitled to some emergency assistance. Speak to your local authority Homelessness Team, stress that the sublet was only an emergency measure, that you are now back at your Mums which is obviously only very temporary. You may have to be persistent, don't get fobbed off, seek advice and support from Shelter if you don't get help from the LA. Shelter can fight your corner for you, they're great. Good luck and I really hope your husband is found soon.

[BeckAndCall]

I'm sorry you've had such a rough time on this thread, puff - from me included. Posters only go on the details you give us and had we known there were children involved we'd have given different advice, I'm sure.

The legality of your sublet doesn't change but mumsnetters would have been able to offer constructive advice on what help you DO qualify for and how to get it. Someone will know, for instance, on what the local authority's obligations towards you are - you may be top of the list for immediate rehoming, for instance. And you may well be entitled to benefits which you have missed.

If any of those are of interest to you, I suggest you draw a line under this thread and start afresh with this detail about your children and the situation with your DH.

If your DH is a UK citizen, for instance, what help are you getting from the FCO or the consulate? There are channels available to you and I hope you are using them.

[JakeBullet]

Sorry for my crappy post yesterday puff, your situation sounds awful. I really hope things start to pick up for you soon.

Hope your DH is soon found and at home. xx

[PuffandStuff]

Thank you both - don't make me cry .....I've caused all this bad feeling and upset my friend and my girls are trying their best to be brave - think we'll be better off with my mum - need a hug!