To find "I'm sorry but..." extremely irritating?

[Tuppenceinred]

So often, when someone has no need to apologise, and isn't actually feeling apologetic at all:
"I'm sorry but I'm not in a position to lend you £100".
"I'm sorry but it isn't convenient to have you to stay next weekend".
If you aren't sorry - don't say you are.

[ImNotBloody14]

i am so with you tuppence

[mercury7]

I realise it's meant to be a nicety, or a way of softening what you are about to say by apologising in advance, but to me it usually sounds unnecessarily apologetic, convoluted and petty, not to mention cliched.

Most of the time it would be better to just come out and say it whatever the thing is
Sometimes it is appropriate to soften a criticism, but something like 'I dont want to offend you but' is preferable

[mercury7]

Or how about
'unfortunately I am not in a position to lend you a tenner'

there's the acknowledgement that the state of affairs is unfortunate for the would be borrower but no admission of culpability on the part of the refusing lender :o

[MrsHoarder]

I do object to the phrase, but in contexts such as:

"I'm sorry [for joking about rape] but I only meant slags"
"I'm sorry [I broke your priceless heirloom] but it was in the way"
"I'm sorry [I hit you] but you were nagging me"

When someone is saying they would like to help but they can't, that is a reasonable use of the phrase.

[AnnabelleLee]

It's called social politeness. Some more people around here should try it.

[Nagoo]

I always say to DH that 'Sorry but' is no sorry at all.

[KellyElly]

It's just a turn of phrase. I'm sorry OP but it doesn't bother me

[Nagoo]

[bearleftmonkeyright]

I'm sorry you feel that way really bugs me and is in no way an apology. If someone has upset you and they say in response I'm sorry you feel that way how is that an apology?

[FruitOwl]

Is it not just a polite English thing though? Like when someone walks right into you because they were texting or something and you automatically say "sorry" even though it was totally their fault? (I didn't do this yesterday and then wonder why, oh no).

I'm sure Kate Fox talks about our overuse of "sorry" in her book Watching the English.

[PipkinsPal]

In work I answer the telephone and people say they are sorry to bother me! If they are that sorry, why did they ring in the first place? They are not bothering me, it's my job to answer the phone and try to resolve their queries.

[badguider]

What's wrong with 'i'm sorry but it's not convenient for you to stay next weekend'?

Unless what you really mean is 'fuck off i don't like you and don't ever want you to stay'?

but most people who say i'm sorry but it's not convenient in my experience are actually sorry that it isn't convenient...

[PaulSmenis]

I'm sorry but

I'm not being funny, but

I am just being honest

These are all 'polite' ways for people to say something that's quite rude.