To want to complain about this nursery even though ds left two terms ago?

[Stillhopingstillhere]

Ds started nursery last October (aged nearly 3 and a half). He was only going twice a week and had never been away from me before. The first session he was fine, the second he was wobbly when I left him and the third he cried the entire five hours.
At the end of the third session the SEN coordinator asked to speak with me. She spoke to me in front of my ds and said that he had no social skills, was "clueless", hadn't benefitted from staying home with me (the nursery had most children from six months old) and they would have to "scaffold" him in. I was stunned. My initial reaction was actually that ds was upset being away from me not because he had a problem with his social skills. She hinted that she thought he could be on the autistic spectrum.
I was beside myself. We persevered with the nursery until February half term, but ds never settled really. He cried before he went, he was wet when he was there despite being dry at home for over a year previously and he because quite anxious, carrying around a toy all the time. I assumed that it was just because he'd never been away from me previously. However as time went on I became concerned it was more than that. Ds started to describe himself as "pathetic" and saying that no one liked him. He said he was a stupid baby who would have to go back in the baby room because he couldn't do his zip on his coat. I removed him from nursery and he started at a preschool after Easter with only one term left before starting school this September.

He settled immediately at preschool. They had no concerns. He left with all his goals in the 40-60 months category and some sections he has completed already and is exceeding. He was dry there, he would eat (which he never would at the nursery) and he stopped carrying the toy around all the time. Since leaving nursery he now describes it as the "shouty" place. I do know of at least five other children who have had problems there too. This is an ofsted outstanding nursery by the way.

Anyway I should probably let it go shouldn't I? But I still feel angry about it. Especially being told that my three year old might be on the autistic spectrum after three sessions. It was incredibly unnecessarily worrying.

Should I still complain? And who to? I was a bit shell shocked at the time. The picture they painted of ds was nothing like the ds I know but I trusted them at the time.

[Stillhopingstillhere]

I think like you say the best thing is to write it all down so I don't forget what I want to say, with some rough dates.
Then either post it or read it to ofsted!

[breatheslowly]

Definitely complain. He wasn't getting those messages at home, so they must have come from the nursery.

Don't worry about the term "scaffolding" it is effectively educational jargon for a teacher providing support, motivation and modelling behaviours to allow a child to learn or develop. A nursery should be constantly scaffolding learning, and the implication that it is an unusual additional burden on them is weird.

As an example whew are currently potty training DD and have taken lots of little steps to make her gradually more independent. They include watching me go to the loo, helping her with her clothes so that she can get to the loo on time, showing her how to pull her pants back up. Now she can get her toilet seat on, pull her clothes down, I still wipe (still modelling) and she can get herself dressed again. I have also been motivating DD to do it with chocolate. All of the little steps have been scaffolding her learning to eventually be independent.

[BlackholesAndRevelations]

The lack of record keeping and observations will be very relevant to ofsted- they care about that sort of thing.