To feel like a failure in not spotting my DS's broken finger earlier?

[JohFlow]

On the last day of term my son came back from school and said that during a football match he had dived for the ball (as goalie) and a friend had landed on top of his hand. I looked at the hand and it looked swollen but presumed it was just bruised. A few days later the bruising went black and I became more concerned but something came to mind that 'you should wait till the bruising subsides a little before having it checked'. This I did. Finger could be moved and my son did not seem in pain apart from the first day. When the bruising started to dissapate - it was much clearer that his finger was deformed.

I have just spend two days in the hospital having it checked out. I have been told that repair is easier in the first 7 days before the bone starts to knit together again shortly after. My DS has signs of some re-setting in the wrong position.

He has to have an operation tomorrow to put everything back in line.

Feel that my slow reactions have complicated things.

[sunshinecity17]

'My arm became dislocated at the elbow, it had happened once before a couple of years previously.

My Mother could not be bothered to take me to the hospital so in the kitchen scullery with sun streaming through the window, I can still see all the teeny bits of dust floating about in it. She pushed my dislocated arm back together, it was bloody agony.'

To be fair 'pulled elbows' often do pop in again quite easily.I remember my brother's used to do this all the time.Oftn by the time we had got to A&E it had popped itself back in, so eventually my mum used to just push it back in.It's a very run of the mill thing.i don't think your mum was neglectful

[ResponsibleAdult]

Easiy mistake to make. You've done nothing wrong.

DP has broken his arm, sporting injury, and none of us spotted it.

I have broken at different times nose, ribs, collar bone (clumsy) and didn't spot it.

Daughter broke both arms, only spotted one of them for the first week. Second at check up, sporting injury.

Only time we guessed correctly was when DS broke both arms, sporting injury, and couldn't get up off the ground attention seeker , joking

Hmm, perhaps we should give up sport in this house [sceptical] oh, and BTW, one of us is medically trained . No one has x ray eyes.

[NobodyLivesHere]

My dd walked round with a sewing needle embedded in her foot for 2 days...she came to me crying that her foot hurt, I looked, couldn't see anything, so gave her calpol, she complained a bit but was fine at school, it wasnt til she got in the bath and her foot was swollen that I took her to a&e, even the doctors were looking at me like a neurotic lunatic until the X-ray came back :/
An operation and 20+ stitches later she was fine!

[minniem]

I have broken many a finger over the years. Some where not apparent for a few days but they are fine now.

DS15 has had a few finger breaks(cricket), they seem to have healed well.

[ExCinnamon]

Don't feel bad, I had this twice.
Both times dc broke fingers at school. First dc I even sent to piano lesson
Second dc: got a call from school to pick him up because he had been sick.
After picking up he seemed fine and hours later told me he felt sick again because the pain in his finger was back. ? Finger?
Broken.

[MiddleAgeMiddleEngland]

I think it happens a lot. Friends of ours failed to notice for two days that their son had broken his arm. The mum is a nurse, the dad is an orthopaedic surgeon. They had to explain to colleagues that they hadn't noticed. (But they had kissed it better a few times )

I'm sure the operation will go well and your son will be fine soon.

[Nocomet]

I've a nasty feeling DD has done something similar to one of her fingers, it won't quite straighten, but she did it several weeks ago so I doubt theirs much point worrying.

She does have previous for going to sleep with both bones in her wrist broken clean through.

[almondcakes]

Do not worry. DD broke her finger, had it xrayed, was told it was not broken. Then I got a letter from the hospital a week later saying the xray had been reviewed, it was broken and to bring her back in. So these things can't be that easy to spot!

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

My DS hurt his thumb playing rugby on the Wednesday. I sent him to school on the Thursday. On the Friday he played benchball and injured the same thumb

The school phoned me to take him to the walk in Polyclinic.
I was but did it and had to explain at reception that he's had 2 injuries.

He'd fractured it.
He was gloating at my obvious neglect (and still does)
I was

NHS Podiatrist

[canyou]

If it makes you feel better
Both my Ddad and DP are paramedics

Dad left me with a broken wrist for a week apparently it was all in my head
Dad told me sit down next to him and have a hug after he ignored my projectile vomiting blood for an hr as I only had migraine. Fortunately an A&E Dr diagnosed meningitis and treated me
Dp refused to believe I was in labour, ask two of his colleagues who were returning to base to pop in and tell me cop myself on Dd was born in the back of their ambulance We live 8 min from the maternity unit
I am in bed with hay fever/ cold vomiting from the cough Dp and the Dr he is overseas with have prescribed hot brandy and port with two paracetamol and an antihistamine. Yeah the DC will be fine will I get drunk/stoned

Hope you feel better and have some your DR will survive and drag the tale of parental neglect out for the rest of his life next week

[Mitzi50]

I sent my daughter to school with a broken foot - in my defence she hadn't had an accident (but had fallen out of her bed) and was walking around with only a slight limp. Even the doctor at A & E said she didn't think the foot was broken and only did the x ray as a precaution.

[zobey]

Dh was walking round and digging holes (his job) for 6 weeks plus with a broken foot. Not just once though but three times in a year and a bit.

[thebodydoestricks]

Same happened to my dd. I am a trained nurse.

It's life. Don't beat yourself up. Far far worse happens at sea.

[MrsDavidBowie]

Guilty here too.
Ds fell off a climbing frame when he was 2 ata friend's house.

Two days later he said his shoulder hurt....broken collarbone.

[RunnerBeen]

My sister had a broken arm for about five days before my mother decided she wasn't just milking it and took her to hospital. Don't feel too guilty

[Tiredemma]

we did this. Ds1 had a broken thumb for about two weeks before we took him to A&E.

[Lauren83]

Story that really upsets my mum everytime it comes up... I was 2/3 and out Xmas shopping, I had new shoes on and whinged all day about my feet, my mum dragged me round for hours and when we got home a nail had gone through my shoe and into my foot my sick was soaked with blood, she still feels guilty to this day, it happens!

[Lilypiesmum]

I've just searched broken fingers on here, pleased I did as I'm feeling a little better now. DDs finger got trapped in a door at school 2 weeks ago, it only hurt her that day, so I just put ice on it and gave her calpol. She's not complained since, but we noticed it was still swollen and bent in funny position. Trip to A&E confirmed it is broken but has set in an odd position. I'm gutted :( hoping they can reset it, but they've said as there's plenty of movement they won't do much!

[MiddleAgeMiddleEngland]

Friends of ours failed to realise their DD had broken her leg after falling off her bike. Kissed it better and told her it would be ok in the morning. Which it wasn't, so they took her to A & E.

They are both doctors at the hospital they took her to, (Dad is an orthopedic surgeon) felt very embarrassed explaining to colleagues that they'd just kissed it better.

Don't worry, I'm sure it happens all the time. Hope your son's finger mends quickly now.

[happilyconfused]

Guilty as charged. DS ended up having an op on his finger to insert a k-wire. He of course points out that he was in pain for a couple of days before I eventually got round to anything about it.

[JohFlow]

Hi Fair,

Apologies for not responding earlier - just seen your post now.

Have gone for function over straightness. He is strapped up for the next two weeks and will be seen by consultant again at 6 weeks (at my request).

Not dominant hand. So no concerns with writing etc.

Had not thought of the scar-rubbing scenario but that totally makes sense and makes me think that I have made a good decision now.

Thank you for your post x

[FairPhyllis]

Hm. What does he want? I think I would go for keeping the function - will the finger still have the strength it would have had otherwise? Is it his dominant hand? Does he play any instrument that he would struggle with in either scenario?

Don't feel bad for having not spotted it - I broke a finger playing netball at school and the A&E junior doctor sent me home saying it wasn't broken - then we got a phone call from the consultant saying he'd seen the X-ray and actually it was broken.

Scarring on fingers is an issue to think about - I also have scarring all along the nearside of my right index finger (long story) and it is actually a huge pain in the neck because you use that surface of that finger an awful lot - I find it much harder to do things like open bottles or anything where you exert pressure using that part of the finger or knuckle, because the scar tissue is quite sensitive.

[JohFlow]

So update - DS now been seen by 4 consultants. His knuckled clicked back out of place during the healing process. Doctors are unable to do the manual positioning again as the bone has already started knitting into place. Without further surgery; his finger will be permanently deformed - but its function would be preserved. The other option is for a wire to be fitted through the bone. This would result in a straighter finger; but there would be less function and he may not be able to create a fist with his finger bent. There would also be scarring as the finger will need to be opened twice.Seems like not much of a choice.

What would you opt for?