To limit kids' time with their grandparents...

[papercliphoarder]

... because I don't like the food they give the kids? General overfeeding, loads of sugary stuff, adult portion sizes, etc. I've asked them to stop but they think I'm just being fussy and controlling. AIBU?

[papercliphoarder]

dreamingbohemian - that's interesting. Maybe this is really common and just needs to be accepted as part of DGP behaviour.

Ragwort - I agree. I certainly don't count calories (I wouldn't know how!), and the kids are very active. But the balance is very different at the DGPs.

[papercliphoarder]

Yes, Smartiepants, and all others who have said this, I'm beginning to think limiting their time is really not at all the right approach.

Thank you all again. This has been extremely useful.

[ZingWidge]

I have a version of this kind of problem - but won't bore you with it.

it really depends on how often they see them.

it's a complicated problem.

[Mumsyblouse]

I used to spend every Sunday at my grandparents and we all ate extra yummy puddings which my gran made plus had the odd ice cream/lovely roast dinner and it is some of the happiest memories of my childhood! I loved being spoiled by them as I certainly wasn't the rest of the time and that was the way it should be- if you are in charge of the kitchen 6 days a week (or 12 days out of every 14), it should be possible to ensure they have a really healthy diet so these constant treats are not the norm.

[stopgap]

My parents know I how feel about feeding my toddler junk food. We allow him pizza and chips on Saturday, and pancakes or waffles in the morning twice a week. That's it. It may seem harsh to some, but if my parents want to treat him, then they can take him for an extra trip to the park etc.

[itsonlyapapermoon]

My children only see my exh's parents when he has contact with them (only a couple of times a year). My exmil completely ignored and undermined me in regards to the children. The kids have various food intolerances (to additives, preservatives, too much sugar etc) and it effects them enormously if they eat these foods. It causes behavioural problems, gives them aching legs, generally makes them feel miserable and ill. Although they NOW listen to me regarding the food intolerances, they overfeed them instead. It's a control thing. When DS9 was about 18 months old, exfil overfed him to the point of him being sick, despite me telling him several times that ds had had quite enough. They killed their own dog through overfeeding it, despite warnings from the vet. When they used to have my neice over after school (she had ADHD) they would buy her a huge bag of sweets and wonder why she was bouncing off the walls. It has nothing to do with ignorance as their own son had ADHD too, and wasn't supposed to eat those sort of things.
The kids spent last week there and came back noticeable chubbier. We were told they were given two breakfasts every day (either two bowls of porridge or two bowls of 3x weetabix) and just generally stuffing them silly. It is harmful I think and as a parent yo have every right to put your foot down if it's causing problems.

[LostLion]

this is not a reason to cause a rift....YABU.

unclench a bit