To ask if you slightly regret having a 4th child? Is it just too much?

[Paperlessy]

Obviously no one would regret having a beautiful child but I just mean, do you sometimes look back and think about how much easier it was with 3? In terms of holidays, cars, money, getting out of the baby stage and perhaps the delay in going back to work? Or maybe not being able to give the older ones attention when needed and help with homework because there's a new baby?

We have 3 and are thinking about a 4th. But the truth is we're just not sure. Both being one of 3 however we hate the idea of there always being one that's left out.

Please give me your honest feelings and thoughts on this. If I'm totally honest, I sometimes have days when I think about how much easier it was just with two. But our 3rd is gorgeous beyond belief and we love him to the moon and back!

Overall I think it's definitely more fun with 3 but when it's difficult and everyone's tired it's also so much harder. I wonder if I would cope with 4, mentally and physically.

[TulipVictory]

Hi I would like to bring up this thread again as I am in this situation. We either have one more or my Hubby is off to get the ✂️. We are really torn. At the moment we have three lovely children, I just don't know if one more will rock the boat too much. Especially going through one more pregnancy. Then again, I know they are all total blessings 😊

[tabsin]

Hi @HopeNoel, in pretty much the same situation as you now with my children at those ages and was wondering what did you decide - Have a fourth or not? Would love to hear your experience.

[ClarasZoo]

What if you have twins??

[burninglikefire]

So, I didn't check the date

ZOMBIE THREAD!

[burninglikefire]

My 4th was an accident and was born when my first was not yet 5. Couldn't imagine life without him.

When he was little, I often felt guilty that I didn't spend enough time on him and guilty because he was always being dragged out to drop off or collect his older siblings. He is in his 20s now and I asked him recently if he had enjoyed growing up being the youngest of 4. He told me that he had a fantastic childhood and really enjoyed having so many people around. Made my day!

[permatiredmum]

I found 3 to 4 to be the biggestjump (apart from zero to one!) It probably wasn't helped by DC4 being a crier and DH setting up a business and being at work from 7am to 10pm each day.
It is hard to keep track of 4 though eg at the park .Much harder than 3

[PigletWasPoohsFriend]

Good luck with your decision. I think you should go for it. You always regret what you didn't do more than what you did.

As the OP is 4 years old I'm sure the decision has long been made.

[livingthegoodlife]

I found 2 a doddle, 3 has been hard work. I'm stopping there even though I loved the idea of four. Expenses wise I don't think number 4 would have made much difference, we already have. 7 seater car and all the equipment.

Mentally though 3 has pushed me. My mum had four and was amazing but I just don't think I'd have the time to give enough to 4.

Good luck with your decision. I think you should go for it. You always regret what you didn't do more than what you did.

[PigletWasPoohsFriend]

ZOMBIE THREAD

[JoffreyBaratheon]

Try 5. That was fun. I dunno though - now the older three have left home at least I still have 2 left at home. House feels empty with only two kids in fact, I don't much like it. I always felt we were a proper family once we got to No 3, and above. The dynamic is utterly different.

[UnbornMortificado]

We have just gone from two to three but DS came early and has ended up on oxygen.

It's not a major thing but it is more work and more appointments etc. I don't regret it.

My mam went from three to four and struggled mostly down to PND.

[recklessgran]

We have 5. To be honest, once you're outnumbered [i.e. on No3] you might as well carry on. We were much better and more relaxed as parents the more we had....chaos mainly!

[samG76]

We occasionally wonder whether the 4th was a good idea, but she's so smiley it makes up for the broken sleep, etc. And it's evened up the fights now that she joins in rather than being the object of the disputes.There'll be no more, though. DH and I agreed on 4 when we got married.

[blackteasplease]

God I often feel that I was mad to have 2. Much as I love ds.

[HopeNoel]

Paperlessy I am in the same boat as you were right now. We have 3 kids (ages 3/almost 4, a 2 yr old & 1 just turned 1). I have as always wanted 4, but after my 3rd I started questioning myself. I had the same feelings that you expressed in this conversation. I am curious what did you decide & how do you feel about it?

[littlejohnnydory]

We have four and I don't regret it for a milisecond. I'd have one more if dh was up for it! But seriously, I found the jump from one to two the hardest, two to three a doddle and three to four slightly harder but not as hard as one to two. Dc4 is five months. After she was born, the stage where she fed 24/7 was hard work - I have one at school and getting everyone out for the school run was a nightmare. It's fine now though but i find it easier in the holidays.

[WandaDoff]

What is it with all the zombie threads this weekend?

[Coffee1234]

Were, not we're!

[Coffee1234]

I have 4 and TBH I've slightly regretted them all at the busy, baby stage. Now that the youngest is a toddler it's great. Going from 1 to 2 was the hardest because DC2 was really hard work, the two after her we're sort of "normal" difficult so not too bad.

People's advice will be partly dependent on their own experience, with their own child. DC4 in our house is generally adored.

[funkyfoam]

I really wanted four but lost my fourth baby, and was told not to have any more. Whilst that baby is always a part of our lives I did realise as the children got older that I had begun to have enough. Enough of homework, exams and school runs and children round to play etc. I hope if I had had four I would have maintained my enthusiasm and interest but genuinely think I may have put less input into a fourth child. They would have been no less loved though. Added to that helping all three of them with university costs has nearly crippled us. That is not some thing I thought about 18 years ago.

[londonrach]

Sister ndn had two then had twins. Shes a fab mum but shes gone from relaxed earth mum to very stressed tried mum. Sister taken older children occasionally. Getting better now due to them growing up. Two is enough! (Mentally remembers that)

[laughingcow13]

I found the jump from 3 to 4 the hardest transition.It didn't help that DH was at the time starting a new business and out of the house for 7am til 10pm to 5pm, or the fact that DC4 was a 'screamer'.Even taking that into account things seemed to go from being (just) manageable to overwhelming for quite a while.
I found it really hard to think for 4 children (I left one in their car carry seat at airport security by accident and the officer shouted after me 'madam you have forgotten your baby!)

[Tiredbuthappy3kids]

Hi. I know that this thread is from a good while ago, but we are considering our fourth and when I read your comments on this, I really agreed with you! So, I would value your advice...to 4, or not to 4!!??

[KobayashiMaru]

you just get on with whatever you have. Personally I think if you make a good stab at parenting the number of children is immaterial, up to a point.