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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To let me daughter put 'no address' letters in the post box every few days? Or is it causing too much extra work for Royal Mail?

123 replies

FiveSugarsPlease · 05/07/2013 21:24

My daughter is 5 and has HFA.

For the past few months, she's been telling me about a teddy bear friend called Jerren who lives in Africa. She likes to draw pictures and letters for him.

For the past few weeks, she's been wanting to post them each time. I agreed to this as i thought there was no harm. It's just 2-3 sheets of paper in the post box each week that can be recycled/put in the bin quite easily, and it keeps a little girl happy.

But posting one of the pictures today, a man and lady stopped me and said i was causing a lot of extra work for Royal Mail by littering the post box with nonsense.

DD tried to explain to the lady about her bear friend, i tried to subtly explain, too. The couple just rolled their eyes and walked off.

I'm now wondering if I'm BU letting dd post these letters? She'll be heartbroken if i make her stop before she's ready or before this phase naturally wears off. But if it's some sort of crime and/or giving the postal workers extra work, I should stop, yes?

Opinions would be very much appreciated.

OP posts:
MynameisKeith · 06/07/2013 10:59

I bet the posties love it. Years ago when I lived abroad my dad's mate was a postie, and he mentioned to my dad that postcards are very popular in the sorting office - breaks the monotony apparently!

After that I used to send the odd one addressed to the "nosy posties" and used to get a reply pushed through my mums letter box, which she would then forward! :)

In my experience, postal workers are not joyless bastards, unlike the couple who told you off! :)

edam · 06/07/2013 11:16

Spermy, the costs of postage have gone up because the government wants to privatise Royal Mail. It is nothing to do with children. And plenty of people who have worked in the postal service have been on this thread saying the posties won't mind or will actively enjoy it.

The miserable bastards were just miserable, nosy bastards.

ApocalypseThen · 06/07/2013 11:28

If you are worried about adding to the postma's workload, just note the pickup times and be there to meet him with this story and a box of chocolates for his extra trouble.

He'll never mind a bit after that.

BookieMonster · 06/07/2013 11:30

OP, if you think your DD might like to hear from Jerren's other penpal, a koala from Oz, let me know. He's not big on conversation, or any other activity, but he can send some lovely pictures.
BTW, YANBU. My DS has just started writing and unbeknownst to me has been writing letters to our neighbours and popping them in their letter boxes. They are all delighted by them and have been writing back with funny stories and pictures.

TigerSwallowTail · 06/07/2013 11:42

she tells me Jerren can't write back because he's just a teddy bear

:o that is hilarious. My son has AS and makes comments like this all the time too, if he's dressed up as Spider-Man for instance and someone says 'oh look it's Spider-Man' he gets all annoyed and corrects them as it's just a costume, this sounds like something he'd say too.

mrsjay · 06/07/2013 11:47

Maybe stick a note from you on the letter to jerren explaining what it is all about, bet it makes the posties day and I probably think they have a little shrine of letters like this at the sorting office

Spermysextowel · 06/07/2013 12:00

Erm, 2 posters know RM workers who have explained what happens to unaddressed mail. No Posties have said it's sweet/amusing. I know the rising cost can't be attributed to children shoving stuff in the post box, tho it's not going to help, but I can appreciate that users of the service don't like to see it abused, which is why I'm sticking up for the 'nosey
beak' couple.

WestieMamma · 06/07/2013 12:10

My dad was a manager at a large sorting office. Every Christmas they employed a casual worker to reply to all the santa letters that came their way. Posties have hearts too.

starsandunicorns · 06/07/2013 12:26

Having worked in a large sorting office as a casual and being placed on the reject sorting frame the frame where all letters are resorted from the large tumble dryer manchine that was mentioned up thread i wouldnt mind postcards are always a good read.
Its quite slow at this time year too

SelectAUserName · 06/07/2013 12:33

This is one of the loveliest threads I have read on MN.

I'm picturing Jerren's fridge (very important in Africa, a decent fridge) covered in FiveSugars's DD's letters and showing them to all his visitors in the slightly showy-offy but endearing manner of a benevolent great-uncle..."From my penpal in England, donchyerknow. Lovely little girl, writes regularly. Postie does a dashed fine job of getting them to me, all sorts of Royal Mail jiggery-pokery"...

edam · 06/07/2013 13:13

spermy, there were at least four before you posted, plus another two since.

TNETENNBA · 06/07/2013 13:20

I wouldn't let my DD do this if I was the OP. I would not want to cause any inconvenience for the postie. I know they have to work really hard.

I would find another way around it. Either by sending real letters or setting up a pretend box.

honeytea · 06/07/2013 13:24

What a lovely story! I send greetings from Jerren's Swedish cousins.

I visited "Santa's post office" on the arctic circle in Finland. There were lots of letters displayed many of the envelopes had "Santa, arctic circle" or just "father Christmas" or "the north pole" it was so touching that postal workers had worked to send those letters with such vague addresses on. There was a lovely envelope which had no writing or stamp on just a children's drawing of father Christmas.

chipmonkey · 06/07/2013 14:05

I think it's lovely and the old couple sound like horrible old killjoys. There's a couple like that on every street.

TabithaStephens · 06/07/2013 14:17

what would happen if every child did this?

IneedAsockamnesty · 06/07/2013 15:08

Apsolutly bugger all would happen if every single child did it much the same as now when lots and lots of them do.

WestieMamma · 06/07/2013 16:15

what would happen if every child did this?

The world would fill up with childhood magic and we'd all live happily ever after.

chipmonkey · 06/07/2013 19:49

And how likely is it that every child will do this?

parkin2010 · 06/07/2013 20:31

Miserable sods! Keep doing it, you sound a lovely mum x

evelynj · 07/07/2013 11:54

Sorry-I missed that you are adding stamps, (unless this has been assumed). Sweet as it is, we do need to pay for RM & the admin costs money of working out what is, (to the RM employees who will have no sentimental attachment to other children's letters), rubbish, from items that are expecting to be delivered. So as long as you're adding a stamp then I think it's fine as this Should cover the extra work as a stamp is pretty expensive now!

Wbdn28 · 07/07/2013 12:40

Agree that finding Jerren a real address would be best all round.

krasnayaploshad · 07/07/2013 14:33

I'm on the fence with this one. On the one hand, what's the harm, it makes a little girl happy. On the other hand, I think what happens if lots of people / children do this kind of thing? Will it put the mail service under extra strain? I know others have said it's no problem, but I still can't help considering that side.
I think the idea of putting a friend or relative's address on the envelope is a good one. Incidentally, Royal Mail will reply to Santa letters if they are sent to a special address. See here for details
www.royalmail.com/letters-to-santa

(apologies if someone has already mentioned it, I haven't read all the replies)

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 07/07/2013 14:40

can you still get those post office sets? I used to have one with its own little stamps and envelopes and a little counter, one of these would be great and yes agree make a post box or buy a toy version for your hallway. if Jerren can't write back as he is a teddy bear could one of his friends? can he draw or send postcards? could he become a travelling bear who sends postcards every week from all over thw world (courtesy of Mnetter's) or is she just happy posting into the big box? can't think it creates too much fuss tbh as it will get filtered out and dumped but a shame to lose her lovely work.

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