"Your kids are being annoying" AIBU. What is wrong with some people?

[TacticalWheelbarrow]

Yesterday DH and I went to a hospital appointment for myself, we got out of there early and decided to go for dinner. It's been a long time since we have had the chance to eat out because we have been skint and had the kids with us, so we were fairly looking forward to it.

We go to the restaurant and were seated in a booth behind a family with 2 kids ages about 3&6.
We soon realised that this wasn't going to be a quiet meal. I was sitting with my back to the family and the 3yo stood up on their booth bench to peer over at us which we found a bit awkward and irritating because we were trying to eat and have a private conversation. The parents didnt say anything and after a while the 3yo got bored and went away.

The restaurant was a buffet type place and the parents of these kids let them have free range of the place meaning that when us and other customers went up to get food the 2 children were frequently bumbling into people and getting under everyone's feet! I mean surely it is common sense that children running riot and hot plates of food don't mix?

The 3yo was handed a bowl of sweets by the chef at the dessert station that she proceeded to drop all over the floor and walk off. The mum definitely saw this, she got up (to what I thought would be to clean up her kid's mess) but instead just walked passed it and got herself more food. . The 6yo also kept coming and standing right next to our table and just stood staring at us, which again was really annoying.

The final straw was when the 3yo stood up in their booth again and peered over at us, and the proceeded to put her messy, sticky hands in my hair and rub them about! The mum saw the child doing this but just ignored it. So I turned round and said this; "Excuse me, I'm glad you seem to be enjoying your meal but unfortunately I am unable to do the same because of your annoying children. Would you please keep them in control so they don't ruin our meal anymore?"

Well I won't bore you with details but it didnt go down very well and the husband became quite aggressive verbally. They definitely thought I was being unreasonable because after all "they are just kids" and I am apparently also rude.

So MN jury, was IBU?

[TacticalWheelbarrow]

7 years and 18 months

[JedwardScissorhands]

Why does it matter whether the OP has children, which is what the question about their age is really getting at. Are people only allowed to be annoyed at kids' behaviour if they have their own to use as a yardstick? Do the childless have to put up with all kinds of annoyances, just because they have not been clever enough to reproduce?

[Goldmandra]

If I can manage to get a roomful of two year olds to sit at a table to eat their lunch every day I don't think it's unreasonable to expect one set of parents to control their three year old in a restaurant.

Bizarrely, some people seem to think that everyone eating in a family friendly restaurant automatically wants to be their unpaid childminder.

YANBU. If people don't challenge this sort of behaviour it will be seen as more acceptable.

[fanoftheinvisibleman]

I'm not in the least bit strict at the table but I draw the line at allowing kids to peer over at over diners. It happened last time we went to TGI's and it annoyed the crap out of me.

I am gobsmacked that there are people on here who are pulling you up as being rude when you had food rubbed in your hair

[TattyDevine]

The OP was not child free, she said she had the kids with her.

[TattyDevine]

Unless she meant "because we had been skint and had the kids with us" as a reason for wanting to go out. Sorry maybe not clear.

[youarewinning]

YANBU.

I for one love and have memorised for future use your speech.

[KirjavaTheCat]

that speech sounds like the sort of thing people make up in the car afterwards and wish they'd said

I'm so glad it's not just me who thought that

[giveitago]

YANBU for saying something but I would have probably not said what you said.

[SilverOldie]

YANBU

In fact I think you were remarkably restrained - I would have dipped my hand in my food and mixed it thoroughly in the child's hair in return. Then the parents would really have something to be upset about.

[TacticalWheelbarrow]

Silveroldie

[Cherriesarelovely]

You were not rude in the slightest! There is no excuse for letting children roam around a restaurant annoying others like that, no excuse at all. Selfish gits!

[drmelons]

I shit you not tactical - it was at the cheaply Saturday morning show (not that that should make any difference) I was almost impressed at their audacity!

[Lweji]

Whatever the venue, even Pizza Hut, you were not being unreasonable.
And I am very tolerant of children.

[Kat101]

Oh dear, my 2 yo is a roamed around restaurants like Frankie and Bennys. We don't go now, I think we annoyed the waitress when he kept playing with the toilet door

Any tips on how to get a 2 yo to sit nicely in a restaurant, pass them on. Mine would scream and struggle within a minute if I tried to pin him in a booth with crayons and paper. Would love to know how to get one of these kids who sits nicely. Maybe the parents find similar (admittedly the hair crossed the line).

[Pimpf]

If you can't get them to sit still, don't go, it's that simple. Try again in another couple of years. It's part of being a parent.

Seriously, why. Would anyone think its ok for a child (no matter how. Old) to wander around a place where hot drinks and food are being served. Not only. Could they get hurt, but there actions can cause accidents where others get hurt. It's not rocket science

[helenthemadex]

Tactical and Silveroldie I want to go out for a meal with both of you visions of eating peacefully while tactical tells parents off and silveroldie rubs food in toddlers hair

OP you were great and I want to know the boring details after your verbal hand grenade exploded

[idiuntno57]

YANBU but why go and attempt a child free meaning in a child friendly venue? I run like the wind from such places when I am on a rare child free night out.

[idiuntno57]

meeting not meaning

[frogwatcher42]

YANBU. I am so impressed with you. Well done. Kids peering over seats at me when I am out is one of my real bug bears.

Kat - don't take them out if you cant control them. Why should others suffer because you cant control your child? If a 2 year old cant sit still then one of you takes it for a walk around the car park until the food is ready and then it sits and eats and then off to the car park again!! Thats what we did anyway. No way would I allow my dc to annoy others in the restaurant.

[Hassled]

Kat - your answer is just that you don't go to restaurants until you're reasonably confident your child will behave for at least the majority of the time you're there. And yes, that's shit - but far less shit than inflicting a "roamer" on people who have saved up for their rare meal out/are celebrating an important life event. I'm not without sympathy - my youngest was monstrous in restaurants, so we just stopped trying until he was more reliable. And yours will get there.

[wherearemysocka]

And yet there are still those who wonder why some people prefer to host child free weddings.

[MrButtercat]

If I could make 3 under 15 months behave themselves in restaurants then anybody can.

In short if you haven't trained them you leave,other diners shouldn't suffer.

Boxes of raisins,high chairs,aqua draw and tiny handbag toys alongside taking walks outside whilst holding hands did the trick.

[BrianButterfield]

DS is not a naturally quiet, compliant child but we've taken him to eat out at least once a week since he was born. You don't go at 'starving' time or if it's late, give a snack first. You bring little toys like cars and trains. You find any little thing that is quiet and entertaining (DS likes to play with pennies from my purse) and keep chatting away. At one point today I was feeding him teeny spoonfuls of hot chocolate across the table which took up a lot of time and made him laugh! No 2-year-old really wants to sit still and they don't have to sit like statues, just not be annoying.

[Tamdin]

YaNbu