quick survey- aibu or is DH?

[hoochycoo]

When DH came home from work tonight the post was still on the hall floor. I normally pick it up and put in on the unit in the hall. I don't open his mail. I hadn't today

He had a letter from his car insurance saying they'd cancelled his insurance. He didn't know why so he rang them and they said it was because he'd missed payments, and that they'd written to him twice to tell him this. apparently he'd given them the wrong card details, which is why the payment hadn't gone through.

He went and looked for the letters on the unit in the hall. So therefore it's apparently also my fault as I picked the the letters off the floor and put them there. Apparently i should have told them they were there and noticed that he hadn't opened them. Apparently he didn't know I put mail there.

I don't drive and the car and insurance are in his name. He deals with the car stuff, I've never had anything to do with it.

Is this partially my fault too?

[dontyouwantmebaby]

another thing OP, what if you had picked up today's post and put it on the unit in the hall. He'd be none the wiser about the insurance being cancelled, would he?

how long before he'd realise he wasn't paying out any money for it or would that be all your fault too.....

[Emilythornesbff]

Do you manage the finances at home?
I only ask because I don't. I check my own current account (usually , and with reminders om DH) but he handles most of our money [phew]. If your DH is a bit like me he might need help .
Although YA still NBU.

[NotAnOstrich]

Hi OP,
Just wanted to send some sym

[NotAnOstrich]

Sympathy even! Stupid fingers / phone.

We can't agree on a place to put post in our house. We have a basket for letters - but sometimes it gets full with bills which need to be filed - so DH ignores it.

DH often says similar - why didn't I notice a letter he was waiting for had arrived? I point him to the letters basket. Frustrating.

[NorksAreMessy]

Your DH, for example, is being an arse.

Not your fault, not your responsibility, not your post.

[BadgersNadgers]

DH overlooked the letters from our household insurers for six months. He only realised that the insurance had lapsed when he flooded our downstairs neighbours and their ceiling fell through.

It was our wedding anniversary.

At least he had the good grace to look ashen and apologise. Your DH is BU, he's lucky he found out the easy way.

[Dixiefish]

YANBU(That said, I am a very good secretary and open all DH's mail - it's all business stuff, nothing personal - and tell him when he needs to do something. I've found it saves trouble in the long run.)

[hoochycoo]

thanks everyone, apology chocolate has been forthcoming xx

[NotYoMomma]

My dh got caught speeding going to the postbox for me once...

Which made it all my fault.

laughed at him and he was very sheepish lol

[marriedinwhiteagain]

I think you both are a bit. The hall unit sounds a bit of a mess with mess being dumped on undealt with mess. We have a hall table and every day we put the post on it; the difference is every day we open our own post and deal with it. Never been an issue in 23 years.

[Thumbwitch]

Glad he's apologised for being an idiot! Of course it was entirely his own fault and he knew it, didn't like the feeling so tried to shift some of the blame onto you so he felt less foolish.

Glad he's accepted it was his problem.

[Idocrazythings]

I think you're both to blame. Even though its his car do you go for drives in it?. If you're picking mail up off the floor and noticing who it's addressed to, then I'm sure you know who it's from as well. It wouldn't hurt to point out he has mail.

[Idocrazythings]

[firesidechat]

Op, we have a similar system in our house. Post arrives and gets put in a particular place. It seems to work and I've never had to "inform" my husband about where that place is. It is also his job to open any post addressed to him, I open post addressed to me and, whoever gets there first, opens post addressed to the both of us.

Therefore your DH is BU.

[pictish]

He's just desperate to blame you for his mistake, plain and simple. He does know the mail goes there. You are not his mummy, chacking his schoolbag for letters ffs.

Don't take his nonsense on. He's pissed off because it's a hassle, and he jut wants to take it out on someone else.

Tell him to fuck off.

[lottiegarbanzo]

Are you his secretary?

No, you always put the mail in the same place, he picks it up, this was his mail, the end.

His dopey behaviour dosen't match his superhero self-image, so he's looking for an external explanation. You'll do, because it doesn't matter if he sees you as a dozey mare, because you're not as important to him as he is.

[lottiegarbanzo]

...in that moment of frustration at least!

Glad he's got over it and apologised.

[pictish]

My dh has the odd stab at this sort of it-can't-be-my-fault nonsense, but he gets the full on face before the words are even out of his mouth, and he thinks better of pursuing it...muttering "Yeah yeah you're not my mother...I know the script."
He hates it when I say that, you see.
Because I'm right.