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AIBU?

To let baby watch tv?!

134 replies

Wishfulmakeupping · 28/06/2013 10:37

My dd is 5 months.
We do stuff everyday babygroups/meeting friends/family/shopping trips in morning and go for a walk in afternoons as well as playing on play mat for couple hours.
But I do let her watch baby tv for about an hour-1.5 in morning while I'm getting ready sorting out bag etc and and another 30min to an hour at teatime.
Is this so wrong? People have said its too much tv and she shouldn't be watching any.

OP posts:
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issimma · 06/07/2013 06:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ukatlast · 06/07/2013 05:53

Creatureretorts:'And anyway I'm not anti-TV - just think it's excessive having a baby watch tv for 1.5 hours at a time.'

The baby is free to 'check out' and choose to fall asleep or ignore lol.

I think tv is the lesser concern when you think how young toddlers are now given IPADS which were not around when mine were young.

CBeebies (alongside going out to Groups) was an absolute boon for toddler when I was morning sick with my second.

Also agree that it is fine for SAHMs to use Cbeebies etc more since they have much longer periods alone with baby/child.

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Beatrixpotty · 30/06/2013 21:01

I wouldn't put it on just for the baby(bit younger than yours) but he's growing up with cbeebies;it's on for a couple of hours a day for the older 2.
My eldest started watching TV at 19m when I had another one.Before that he wasn't that interested.
Sounds like you're doing plenty of other things anyway,I wouldn't worry about a bit of TV.

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GobbySadcase · 30/06/2013 20:34

That's right, because the tv picture reaches into your baby's brain and re-wires it.

Of course! Crikey why didn't I suss that before?

NB Autism is an organic structural disability of the brain. The brain is actually different from 'neurotypical' people and that is observable on scans.

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formicadinosaur · 30/06/2013 20:07

Why don't you google the studies/research done. There is quite a bit and it will help make up your mind. We have never really bothered with baby TV. Never had the time or interest. My toddler watches about two hours a week. More if he is ill.

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CailinDana · 30/06/2013 20:06

Tv causes asd? Seriously?? Treelula do you even know what asd is?

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Parker231 · 30/06/2013 18:03

When DT's were tiny I had the news on the tv all the time for company. I didn't do baby groups (couldn't stand talking about whose baby could do what !) so the tv kept me sane with adult conversation ! The DT's went to nursery full time from 6 months old and tv ended up only being on for them at weekends. They're almost 16 now and watch what they want - my only rule is no tv at mealtimes.

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monicalewinski · 30/06/2013 17:31

working your post could have easily fitted into any number of threads I have read. There is so much pressure to be perfect, and to be constantly criticised by other mums on top, becomes all too much to live up to. Everything you said I wholeheartedly agree with.

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TreeLuLa · 30/06/2013 16:46

I was very careful to put " in some cases"

Of course I know that most cases are genetic / other.

Apologies if I have caused offence.

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5madthings · 30/06/2013 14:02

If you read the thread she says that 1hr and a half is made up of 20mins here and there as she is doing stuff. Is 20mins whilst she has a shower and gets herself sorted, maybe ten mins whilst she is tidying etc then another bit whilst getting stuff ready to go out..

We didn't have a TV whilst ds1 was little, in fact both he and ds2 hardly watched TV at all, but ds4 certainly watched some as a baby and do did dd (no5). I can't remember with ds3 but no doubt he watched a bit with his siblings.

Its a balance and as long as she talks to and interacts with thge baby etc its fine. If you never talk to them/rarely interact with them then problems can follow.

As Cailin says its the environment as a whole not just one bit of it.

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Harryhairypig · 30/06/2013 13:52

Once again thankful mine were babies before this 'they must not watch any tv for years' research came out so happily plonked mine in front of baby Einstein to get a break with no guilt when necessary for my sanity. And no long term harm. Workings post is wonderful. Just fib if anyone brings it up OP so you can't be judged.

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pigletmania · 30/06/2013 13:26

Sorry gobby I wasn't aiming at you but in agreement with you. Asd has nothing to do with blooming screen time and all to do with generic physical factors

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pigletmania · 30/06/2013 13:24

Yes gobby my dd presented with Asd from birth how do you explain that! Judgy people much

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Thumbwitch · 30/06/2013 12:19

I think it's a bit of a jump to go from too much TV at a young age possibly contributing to ADD, to it possibly being linked to ASD. The first is, I think, quite possible - the latter, not so.
(and I wish that would format properly but it won't so you'll just have to pretend the middle letter is bold in each)

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frissonpink · 30/06/2013 12:14

Hmm. I think my 8 month old watches about the same, feeling guilty now!

Just a question though..

She will happily sit and play on her playmat though, and play with her toys.

Is is so wrong for the TV to me on for me to watch? Or are those anti TV people saying the tV should never go on in the house at all whilst a baby is awake?

Because if the TV isn't on at all, I'm sorry, I don't have the money to be out of the house all day! We go out for a walk in the pram most days. Tesco food shop one day a week. One baby class a week (that's honestly all we can afford)

People seem to forget that it costs money to go out!

Anyway. I grew up watching TV and have zillions of qualifications, so can't say it did me any harm ;) I do talk to my DD all day. I think that's the most important part.

Surely the anti tv officials mean, don't just leave your baby in front of the TV with nothing else going on?

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GobbySadcase · 30/06/2013 12:03

I know. "My kid's perfect because I'm a perfect parent. Those kids have ASD therefore the parents did something wrong".

Lovely, that.

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hobnobsaremyfavourite · 30/06/2013 11:59

ASD linked to watching tv dear God I've heard it all now.

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lola88 · 30/06/2013 11:53

letting them watch Jeremy Kyle is bad letting them watch some cartoons is fine, I watched lots of tv and it didn't do me any harm

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GobbySadcase · 30/06/2013 11:53

My kids had ASD from birth. No amount of TV or not would have made a difference and I find it offensive that people seek to blame parenting. Genetic causes are frequent, as in our case.

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Thumbwitch · 30/06/2013 11:34
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Mycatistoosexy · 30/06/2013 11:10

Well done working good points well made

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Pobblewhohasnotoes · 30/06/2013 11:00

Well said.

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working9while5 · 30/06/2013 10:30

I think the more crucial thing here is that children do not need you to be perfect and make near perfect decisions and offer near perfect input all the time.

Most people put on the television for their children because they need a break. I totally agree that no baby needs that much stimulation but to be honest, I think we underestimate typical children's ability to self-select what's best for them to attend to in the environment.

A 5 month old isn't going to have the attention span to attend to 90 minutes of television, whether broken up or not. So while "watching television", they will also be looking at the lights, tracking you moving across the room, playing with their fingers, looking at the carpet etc. They are not going to be glued to the television. I've seen family members who have those Baby Einstein things etc and their babies don't sit transfixed. They tune in and tune out of that stimulus as they do with everything else.

I think to be honest it's a bigger issue when they're older and it can become addictive. When I was unwell with depression my 3 year old son got a lot more television than I would have chosen in my right state of mind and I could see the hook it had on him, even though he was doing other things: having time with me colouring/baking/going out/playing duplo/going out on his bikes. Yet I'm not going to beat myself up about having been where I was - I didn't choose it and when I was well we took steps to change it.

Everything in life is about balance. You're going to do certain things as a parent out of a need for your own space and that's not a sin or a travesty because actually self-care is a crucial factor in mental well-being and allowing you to be present and fully attuned the rest of the day. Kids used to be allowed wail in a playpen for hours, we don't do that now. At one point in history babies were put up on pegs! Every generation will have its "not great but not abusive" type of non-human "babysitter".

One of the hardest things about being a mother these days is the endless and relentless critical analysis of every single decision. This isn't mentally healthy and is its own suffering and detraction from being the mother you want to be. I wonder do people hear themselves when they start the Monty Python Yorkshiremen sketch: "well I had 7 under 5 and no husband and no money and severe depression and cancer and a disability and I managed to be a better mother than you by never putting on half an hour of television". Bully for you, lovies. Yours is the harder path, I see.. but my life is happening to me as Larkin said.
We're not mothers in Auschwitz or in the dumps of Brazil, it's true.. but that doesn't mean that we have to be self-flagellating every time we make a decision that wouldn't be made by The Perfect Mother. It's only a bit of television in a warm and loving stimulating environment with plenty of cuddles, kisses, naps and good food and an interested and loving mother. Honestly. It isn't heroin in the baby bottle.

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pigletmania · 30/06/2013 09:17

I was reading a story about a 9-10 month with cancer and downs syndrome. She could only be soothed by watching Micky Mouse,, and it used to make her smile, so watched a lot of it when she was really ill. Would you judge!

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pigletmania · 30/06/2013 09:02

Sonshines you pick your battles, if your baby is crying 9-9 you are sleep deprived, and baby cannot be soothed a little tv will not hurt fgs! Ido those things for my ds who is not fussed about tv but for dd (asd) it did not wrk, the soothing strainers of Mick Mouse used to calm her. Now at 6 she hardly watches any tv, preferring to make stuff or play in the garden.

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