To disagree with the topic on THe Wright Stuff

[Gonnabmummy]

It was... Do mollycoddling mums create dead beat dads?

I totally disagree, well in my case. My DP works full time so obviously I do everything at home whilst he's at work. When he's home which is late at night around 11pm most days chef does split shifts he will still awaken through the night, tired obviously but no complaining. He takes full charge of bath bedtimes when he's at home and is fully involved. If anything he has a harder job than me not that I would admit to him

What do you ladies think?

[Didactylos]

So men cant even be incompetent off their own backs now?
Somehow its got to be a womans fault?

[CreatureRetorts]

YABU for watching that crap!

[moonmanic]

I only watched a snippet of this debate as I was drawn away by my toddler but I think the argument was actually that if the mother of a father i.e. the grandmother, mollycoddled her son while he was growing up then said boy will grow up believing women will do everything and end up being a bit of a lazy dad when they become parents.

I got the impression from OPs thread that the argument was if a man is married to woman who does everything then he becomes dead beat.

I think people behave as adults and as parents based on how they were brought up themselves so I guess it makes sense that if you were brought up by a mum who does everything for you that this becomes your model of male/female relationships, behaviour etc.

[squeakytoy]

You are possibly missing the point. What you are describing is not mollycoddling.

I have known mothers who are martyrs to their children, and think they can do better than the father, to the point that the father just gives up and lets them get on with it because when he has tried to be involved, he gets pushed away and told by the mother that she knows best.

Mollycoddling is also (from my understanding) doing far more for the child than is necessary, and wrapping them in cotton wool rather than letting them be independant.

I know someone who still cuts food up for their 8 year old... utterly ridiculous behaviour!

[Gonnabmummy]

The lady they used as an example said she was a single mum and worried that by doing everything for her son and him not seeing his dad would result in the boys thinking they need not do anything.
My ds is not grown up so can't say what he will turn out but they portrayed it as the woman just doing everything for the children but not to an extreme if I'm making sense?
Ds will obviously see me doing more in house and does not see daddy doing work but I don't think that leads to dead beat dads..

[Crinkle77]

I wouldn't really say dead beat dads is the right word but think I know where the debate is coming from. My boyfriend is mollycoddled by his mum. She makes his packed lunch, does his brekkie, washes his clothes and cooks his tea. Fortunately he is very hard working and not lazy in the slightest and seems to have been blessed with the tidy gene. He keeps his car, room and all his other possessions spotless. In fact he hates it when I go round and make a mess. He can even sew and iron better than me. I do agree though that at times a mollycoddling mother can produce lazy children of either sex which may continue on in later life but I do think that mothers do tend to spoil boys more than girls. Then when they do get homes with their partners they have no idea how to do anything for themselves.