AIBU to be surprised that a boy in my 6 year old DD's class........

[ThoughtsPlease]

told her that her shortened name, which she likes to be called, is only 1 letter away from a name for a girl's bottom! I am not sure exactly what term he used, but my DD said this. She then went on to say that she didn't know what name he meant.

It is true, when you shorten her name this is the case, I have no problem with this, I don't really mind that someone has said this to her obviously I knew at some point someone would, but I am surprised that it was from a peer when she was just 6.

Her name is Francesca, and she likes to be called Frannie.

AIBU to be surprised by this from a 6 year old boy?

[thebody]

Ew no fanny is rude. Front bottom please.

To be honest op I would be relived it was fanny and not cunt.

[ShatnersBassoon]

We used to say 'Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, what are these?'.

We actually weren't allowed to refer to body parts by any name at home, not even by proper names. Everything was shameful. I said fanny and willy outside of the home from a young age though. My mum still heaves if I say boobs in front of her. I love all these silly names that people rank and dither about

[trice]

Fanny was the female version of willy in our area growing up and was not really rude. It was seen as a babyish was of saying penis and vulva. I am genuinely surprised that in some parts of the country it is rude.

My ds is now 11 and is regularly brought to his knees with laughter at the mention on the news of Ed Balls. And I like the name Dick and think it is a shame that it can't be used these days.

Although I like the name Franny I would never have called a child of mine a name that was so obviously going to be a source if teasing throughout her life. But I was bullied at school so am probably a bit defensive about such things.

[Wylye]

Tis all interesting!
I too didn't hear 'cunt' until Uni, but grew up using 'fanny' for vulva - in the West Country & East Anglia. It was definitely not offensive, it was a child's term like willy or tummy. It was considered naughty/rude to be talking about genitals in the first place, but fanny wasn't rude in itself.

Had nooooo idea fanny was rude in some areas until MN, and by the same token was a bit to hear that a lot of northerners used 'twat' affectionately - it was a very very bad word when I was younger.

My MIL was Minnie and I've never heard it used for vulva either! Bloody hell, all these euphemisms piss me off! We need a word! I second the cot for fanjo!

[Wylye]

Cot?? vote.

[FinickityCoder]

It was always a Mary here. Fanny is considered crude and not for children round these parts.

[mrsjay]

TBh he is 6 and they think boobies and bums are hilarious, somebody in his life uses the word fanny and he has picked up on it, tbh I think your dd will be teased a lot because of her shortened name it will get worse as she grows older, there is nothing wrong with the shortened version of her name but kids pick up on things and will think it is hilarious to tease her

[ThoughtsPlease]

I don't actually think that it is a problem that her shortened name for now is Frannie. Her name is Francesca, she may like to be known as that or Fran when she is older.

I was obviously well aware that this would happen at some point and as I have said I don't think it is a problem, she wasn't upset.

I was just surprised at the comment from a 6 year old, but it seems clear now that the word fanny is viewed very differently by people.

So next question, do I say nothing to her, she does not know the word fanny, and wait and see if he continues to say it, then explain to her. I would say it isn't her name so it is not really relevant that it is one letter away, it is a different word for a part of the body, but not a very nice word to use.

[mrsjay]

just say to her oh isn't he just silly saying that to you and you have no idea what he is talking about as he is just being silly
. I heard 2 little lads call each other fanny the other day, it is used round here as you are a fanny (idiot)

[ThoughtsPlease]

mrsjay so what about the names William and Richard, have all these men had tormented lives because of their names?!

Kids will tease other kids about all sorts of stuff, it is a perfectly normal name, and given her 'character' I could see her thinking how stupid and still wishing to be called Frannie!

[mrsjay]

I dont think you DD deserves to be teased all I mentioned was some kids could pick up on it I didnt mean to upset you , and Id imagine willie and dick is hilarious to some kids, I am sorry again I honestly didnt want to upset you

[ThoughtsPlease]

mrsjay I wouldn't want to say that I didn't know what he was talking about, if it keeps coming up I will explain. I meant more should I leave it for now until it does come up again, which actually yes I now think is the right way to go.

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

I'd say 'yes, some people do call it a fanny, but I'm not keen on that word', if you're not.

[curlew]

"So next question, do I say nothing to her, she does not know the word fanny, and wait and see if he continues to say it, then explain to her. I would say it isn't her name so it is not really relevant that it is one letter away, it is a different word for a part of the body, but not a very nice word to use."

OK. My children have a hyphenated last name- one element of which is one letter away from a vaguely sexual word. DP has had people being "funny" about it all his life. What we did was as soon as they and their classmates became aware of the word, we said "yes, that will happen- and it is absolutely fine if at any stage you want to quietly drop that part of your name. Nobody will mind- and you can always pick it up again at any time you want to" We made this point particularly strongly when they started Secondary school. So far they have both decided to keep the name. If I were you I would explain to your dd, and give her th chance to change her name to another shortening if she wants to. Obviously she shouldn't have to and it would be fab if she could cheerfully "power through it". But give her the information, offer her an alternative, and let her decide.

[SillyTilly123]

Here in the North East Fanny is a naughty word. When I was small my mam used to call it my fairy or Mary (or sometimes fairy mary) I just call it front bum to my dds as they love fairies (the mythical kind) so dont want to confuse them.

[AmazingBouncingFerret]

Sorry but

[MimsyBorogroves]

I'm originally from the North East, and fanny would be considered crude, on a par with "dick". I don't think we had an equivalent to willy which I wouldn't have been allowed to say at home, either - I suppose girl's bits didn't really get spoken about. At home it was referred to, if at all, by "front bit", which I consider to be less irritating than "front bottom". Interestingly, "fannying about" wouldn't be considered crude.

Now I prefer my DSs to refer to their genitals as penis/testicles or, at a push, "bits". I've used "vulva" when asked about girl bits, but knowing DS1 he'll get that mixed up with Volvo. I hate "willy", as it seems...infantile. In a bad way.

DH (West Country) uses fanny. It makes me cringe, even now. It's not a swear word (I love those) it's just...icky.

[ThoughtsPlease]

Haha Mimsy getting vulva and Volvo mixed up!!

[ThoughtsPlease]

curlew yes thank you that sounds a good plan.

mrsjay it's ok I am not upset

[Wylye]

I have however heard it called a Mimsy

[Rainbowdrop8]

I was on a flight in America recently when the older lady cabin crew said to a guy "Sorry I just brushed against you with my fanny".

I'm 30 but couldn't hold in the giggles. DH was horrified, he thought he meant vagina

[AnnaFiveTowns]

Fanny isn't rude. But "front bottom"? Eww, gross!

[happygirl87]

IME (South East coast, then London) "fannying around" as a verb is like a slightly more edgy/colloquial version of "faffing about"- I say it a lot to friends, but wouldn't say it to boss/MIL.

My Gran sometimes calls me "Fanny-Adams" affectionately, but amongst younger family members (e.g. parents generation), "sweet FA" or "sweet fanny adams" is a euphimism for "sweet fuck all", a very rude/angry way to say "nothing".

Fanny as a noun to me is very crude, not as rude as c**t, but would only expect to hear it in conversation between teenage boys/men in their early twenties/comedians IME. Often used in derogatory or misogynist way, e.g. a smelly fanny, or a loose fanny. Not a word my friends/DM would use if talking about an area of their own body, and def not a word I would teach a future DD- so really interesting for me to see that so many people have it as the equivalent of "willy"!