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AIBU?

To have said something to this awful mother?

34 replies

Nicola19 · 09/05/2013 21:52

I was in the shop tonight round six, a guy was behind me and i noticed a little girl around five walking slowly down an aisle. Suddenly i was startled to death by the loudest 'No!!!!!' and i looked round to see her mum. I expected to see an angry face after that outburst but she looked quite neutral. The girl put back whatever she'd been holding. The guy behind looked at me with wide eyes. The little girl then sidled up to her mum in the queue and her mum shouted, 'i said no, stop asking for things!' and as the girl stepped away from her mum kicked out making contact with her heel, making her knee give way slightly.

I made eye contact with the lady in a fearful kind of way. All throughout it the girl never made a peep. Should i have said something? I used to be braver when i was younger but now dont seek confrontations. Just feel so badly for the poor child! WWYHD?

OP posts:

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SooticaTheWitchesCat · 10/05/2013 11:28

I'm sure I have been really loud saying "No" on many occassions so I don't think that is really a problem. Kicking a child is not acceptable though.

I'm not sure I would have said anything either, you never know how someone is going to react and I am not usually very confrontational.

Goldenbear · 10/05/2013 11:00

I think wide eyes is entirely appropriate if someone is kicking their child. I can't figure out how you would 'accidentally' kick someone in that scenario. How many adults walk around kicking their legs about in shops- not something I've ever seen. I've seen plenty of parents being arseholes though that seem to have no control over their anger when it comes to their own children but would exercise self discipline if an adult made them angry. I have and I would say something about obvious cruelty like that!

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 10/05/2013 10:36

And you gecko, are an idiot.

pictish · 10/05/2013 10:31

To add, British children are so disrespectful imo, they don't get proper, consistent disipline at home.

And the What A Clanger award for the most outlandish comment of the week goes to.....

rambososcar · 10/05/2013 10:24

God help us if we live in a world where parents can't "shout" NO to the poor little darlings occasionally. You would be entirely unreasonable to say something to the parent about that or even to question whether you should. Some children touch constantly, one of mine included, and some parents, myself included, think it's bloody bad manners and bad behaviour. The "kick"? I don't know. It's less clear what the intention was or whether that was deliberate. If it was a deliberate kick it's not acceptable but not the worst thing in the world that a badly behaved child got a tap on the heel "making her knee give way slightly".

NB, "shouting"- do you mean using a stentorian tone? Shouting in a supermarket would be unusual from most people.

ChunkyChicken · 10/05/2013 10:22

Gecko generalising much??!!! If I'd said "the problem with American kids is they only get burgers for dinner" or "the problem with French kids is their parents drink too much", people would call me judgemental, potentially racist and wrong. So how about you keep that particularly judgement to yourself?

OP, this is why, when I walk around shops telling my 3yo DD off about asking for things, I add full sentences for the benefit of every listening judging person in the vicinity: "No DD, I told you, no already, I can't buy that for you because you have 3 at home" etc etc etc However, deliberately kicking a child is unacceptable, and I guess that if the Mum was aware that she'd done that accidentally, she could/should have said "oops, sorry".

freddiefrog · 10/05/2013 10:17

Kicking is never ok, but I have had similar 'no, no, no, for gods sake NO!!!!' meltdowns after I've trailed my way round Sainsbury's hearing 'can I have?' every 2 seconds.

I also whacked my daughter in the face completely by accident once, we were in Sainsbury's one Sunday afternoon getting a chicken and a bag of spuds for a roast dinner, she was behind me nagging to get her ears pierced and I got fed up with hearing it for the millionth time, spun round to face her, didn't realise how close behind me she was and elbowed her in the face. Total accident and I immediately apologised, but I got a lot of dirty looks and tuts

Soupa · 10/05/2013 10:16

The mother kicked her child? There is no justification. I would report to social services and hope it was on the security footage. It awful, horrible behaviour. It does make you wonder what happens at home.

mrsjay · 10/05/2013 10:16

all my advice is in hindsight though It sorts of fades over the years how annoying it was. but I had to ignore her or i would have strangled her got very cross,

MrsMelons · 10/05/2013 10:14

On a good day I can ignore - ah how I wish all days were good days!

mrsjay · 10/05/2013 10:11

was like*

mrsjay · 10/05/2013 10:11

TBH one of mine were like that I just ignored her in the end didnt even speak to her in the shop,

D0oinMeCleanin · 10/05/2013 10:10

It's every time we to go the shop. I detest the fact that she is now old enough to go to the shop alone and often follows me there without even asking.

Like a PP said it's almost as if it is instinctual with her, she has to ask for something. When she was two she begged me to buy her a raw chicken fillet in the butchers because there was nothing else she knew the name of

mrsjay · 10/05/2013 10:08

I have even said what is it to the mum mum mummy and it wasn't even my child

MrsMelons · 10/05/2013 10:06

D0oin - I think many of us have been there! Just hearing mummy mummy mummy mummy MUMMY MUUUUUUM some days is enough to send anyone over the edge.

Geckoandthemonkey · 10/05/2013 10:05

To add, British children are so disrespectful imo, they don't get proper, consistent disipline at home.

If a child just won't listen/continues to misbehave? What exactly supposed to do? Fgs!

mrsjay · 10/05/2013 10:04

aww dooin poor you but your post made me want to stroke your hair with a 'there there' but it was

MrsMelons · 10/05/2013 10:03

I shouted at my DS2 the other day in a shop as every shop we'd been in he had been asking for stuff, he had plenty already so it wasn't like I had just been saying no for the sake of it.

At the supermarket check out he picked yet another bar of chocolate and I must say it made me flip. It was the first time in that particular shop but I was at the end of my tether. I snatched it off him (probably a bit too dramatically) slammed it back on the shelf and shouted at him a bit.

I wasn't particularly proud of that as I could have just taken it off him but I am not a violent or nasty parent but it could have looked quite unreasonable to someone else.

Kicking your child is never ok though!

D0oinMeCleanin · 10/05/2013 10:01

I occasionally shout "NO, FGS, NO, go home NOW" to dd1 after her following me round the shop, having already been told I am going to pick up one or two items for dinner and she will not be getting anything, saying "Can I have some strawberries? Mam, can I have strawberries, Mam?" "No" "Some blueberries, then?" "No" "Well can I have a bag of crisps" "No, I have no spare money, you are getting dinner soon" "Can I get a drink then? Mam? Mam? Mam, I want a drink" "no, we have juice and water at home" "Oh, but I wanted Fanta, please can I have Fanta? Please?" "NO, I have no money" "Oooh, look Chapsticks, mam I need a Chapstick, my lips are sore" "No" "Well can I have something? A lolly? Some icecream? Some meringues? Can we get stuff to bake cakes? What about popcorn, can I have popcorn?" at this point all I hear is "CanIHave?CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave? CanIHave?" and lose my temper.

I've never kicked her, though, but I do probably scare the shit out of everyone in the shop when I scream "NO"

Some children need no shouting at them before they get the idea. Maybe she didn't mean to kick out at her, it doesn't sound like she did it with force, she may have just been shuffling her feet in agitation.

Geckoandthemonkey · 10/05/2013 10:01

Yawn... this is why I avoid shopping with dc's... judgey pants like you...

Geckoandthemonkey · 10/05/2013 09:59

The problem with some parents is they just can't say 'no'. Shouting or not, it's called disipline. You can't say who kicked who. So what is the point of starting this thread? YABU.

mrsjay · 10/05/2013 09:59

So you can see how I do get to the point of saying no before she's even opened her mouth at times. I have never been wrong that she's going to ask for what is in her hand either.

this really it is exhausting having to constantly explain why they can't have and some kids just like to touch and pick up stuff so a quick NO is the only way, saying that kicking a 5 year old intentionally is horrible

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DeWe · 10/05/2013 09:57

She may have a daughter like my dd2. She constantly asks for stuff in shops. When you say "no" she'll often come back with a different way of asking. Often the stuff she doesn't need or even really want, it almost like a reflex.
She has pocket money to buy things she wants, that doesn't stop the continuous asking.

By the time I've been in 5 different shops and she's asked for 20+ items in each my patience is wearing very thin. That 5th shop could well be the local supermarket-on the way back.

I will have conversations with her outside a shop that go along the lines of:
"In that shop, I am buying X, and only X. Please do not ask me for anything else because I do not have the money for it. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
Enter shop. Dd2 rushes straight over to the plastic tat...
"Mummy, please can I have this. I'll pay you back when I get my pocketmoney."
"I said I haven't got the money for anything.
"Mummy, please. Emily has one and I need it to play with her. Pleaaaaaaaassssssssseeeeeeeeeee".
"No"
"but mummy...." gives up puts it back, goes to pick up another item
"Mummy, please can I have this, I need it because...."

Repeat until out of the shop.

So you can see how I do get to the point of saying no before she's even opened her mouth at times. I have never been wrong that she's going to ask for what is in her hand either.

mrsjay · 10/05/2013 09:54

I wouldnt have said anything either what can you say ?

mrsjay · 10/05/2013 09:54

do you think she meant to kick her ? awful if she did , but tbh if the girl was touching something the NO was probably appropriate whatelse was she meant to do?

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