Help me, mumsnetters... So, we're having a tough time financially; like everyone else, the bum economy has hit us hard. Both DH and I do freelance consulting, and this year has been so tough! The overwhelming bulk of the income for the past 5 years (easily 2/3rds) has been mine, and because we've both taken fewer jobs to work around the kids, we've had basically no money coming in since December.
Yesterday, while opening another huge mortgage bill, which I will pay, I say, "So what are your plans for work this year?" And he goes, "I'm thinking about taking a course in kinesiology.... maybe get some clients."
!!!!!
First of all, let me say that DH is a genius. Without exaggeration he is unbelievably smart. He can do the Guardian cryptic crossword in an hour. He outperforms winning University Challenge teams, he speaks fluent French & is teaching the kids, he is a statistics nut who actually understands how the stock market works. When I met him he was doing an economics degree. He's incredibly clever, a good dad, and a nice guy.
"Applied Kinesiology", as far as I can make out, is a kind of alternative therapy where you wave crystals over the body correspondent to different organ functions and that connects to muscle functions. For example, if your foot hurts, a therapist waves a crystal near your liver, and presto, your foot is fixed. I think. I'm not sure how it works, or that it does work; the first 10 searches for "kinesiology" on the web return results that say "quackery". DH had a session last year that he felt helped him, and has had like 5 other sessions since, and now wants to go into it as a career.
I can't support this! I mean, financially, I DON"T MAKE ENOUGH MONEY to be the sole breadwinner while he gets set up, even when he is up and running his income prospects are v-e-r-y l-o-w, and I absolutely cannot get behind a job that I am embarrassed to describe to others. Secondly, I love him, but his people skills are TERRIBLE. He is definitely a back-office type of personality. How can he build a career, support 2 kids when the whole job of a therapist relies upon being good with people? If he would have said "teacher training" or "law school" or even "medical school" I would have been 100% behind him, but I am not okay with this!
Am I being unreasonable? Someone, give me advice please. I am too embarrassed to talk to friends or family about it, and every time I look at him, I feel like I could strangle him, so I am absolutely not in a place to talk to him rationally right now.
AIBU?
DH announces quack job search
MurielPuce · 02/05/2013 07:05
Also, yeah, he did complete the Economics degree (got a first) and yes, I know that my parameters for describing his intelligence are laughable (fluency in French, his prowess at the cryptic crossword, etc.), but please allow this is a message board rather than a letter of recommendation. And yes, I know there is a lot going on in/near our current field and I am working the LinkedIn thing to try to stay afloat and/or examining all possible opportunities, but our family needs him to pull his weight too. Since he is the one with skills of some market value (in fact I have a music degree.... got into consulting by accident), it's making me nuts that he doesn't seem to want to use them anywhere except alternative therapy. 
I've ncd for this - been on MN for a few years, since exH left for the OW = who was more supportive of his bonkers beliefs. She was one of his clients and and they have now set themselves up doing couples counseling I believe 
. Over our 25+yr relationship he had lots of weird therapy and while I was I was generally supportive - he paid for it himself and some of it seemed to help placebo effect
He finally got very involved in something that I just thought was exploitative and bloody stupid and I told him I thought it was dishonest of those who ran that particular kind of therapy to charge people the kind of money they did. This was the relationship killer for him - and was the eventual grounds he used for my unreasonable behaviour in the divorce. Though to be fair I was very happy to be rid of him for that to be the case because I wasn't going to pretend I thought this therapy was anything other than an expensive crock of shit (though with enough common sense good stuff in it to hook people in).
I had lost respect for him when he insisted on pursuing this and it was the death knell of our marriage. He seems happy in la la land with his new disciple and I am certainly happier not having to be non-judgmental about something I judged to be very wrong.
I'm sorry this isn't more helpful OP - but if he is going down this track and you are not it might be a deal breaker.
ovenchips I'm perplexed that you struggle to understand why somebody would find it difficult to continue a relationship with someone they think is stupid.
And how does the amount of stress/worry in our lives impact on that? 
The thing is, if someone came on and suggested their DH was wanting to go and make a living doing the shell-game on street corners most people would rightly be at least a bit about that and question the values the DH had.
Training up in the preposterous and potentially downright dangerous bollocks which is kinesiology is far far worse. It's all terribly fluffy when it's telling people who have nothing wrong with them that they'll feel far better because the magnets and little vials say they should give up wheat, refined sugar, dairy and red meat - you make cash, the victims clients feel better because once you can't eat cakes, biscuits, ready made lasagne etc then no shit sherlock you will feel better as you're eating more fresh fruit and veg. It's a dangerous ball game when some mum brings a kid in who actually has allergies and the magnets don't suggest giving up lupin and the kid goes into anaphylactic shock when they eat some onion rings on a day out.
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