Foolish parents and very young children in car parks

[NorthernLurker]

So today I've been to the farm shop. It has quite a big car park and is very naice. It also has a petting farm/playpark place. Lovely. Very popular with families. As I came back to my car I saw a family parked nearby getting all their stuff together obviously for a trip to said playpark. They had got their very young son out (maybe 18 months at the most) and they got their pushchair and they got out a ball. Which they gave to him, he dropped and ran after and they sorted of carried on milling around. In no way was he under their control to be safe from traffic. Finally dad felt the pushchair was sufficiently laden and they set off towards the park in a straggly row of three with child completely free range - in fact he nearly walked in to me coming the other way and I sent him towards parents. Then a HUGE car drove in to the car park and they work up a bit and picked him up. He screamed. Car passed and dad put him down to continue his free range rampage. When last seen they were at the end of the car park, mum out of sight and dad at least two metres away from and in front of the child - who was walking right next to the boots and bonnets of the parked cars. None of the drivers of which would have been able to see him at all. All they would have seen is an adult male walking along two metres away.
AIBU to think these parents were fools who will be spending time in A&E with this child as a result of an RTA at some point. I really wish I'd said something to them Were we the only parents to have 'carpark rules' - always hold hands, don't walk right behind cars, stand very still whilst I unlock the car and if you're too young to do that you get held on to.

[OneFingerSjupesUpTheYoni]

Dd is 8 and i put my hand stretched out over her chest whilst i walk just in front of her or i hold her wrist - i do it to dp, my mum, my friends etc too it's an ingrained habit from when my mum did it to me still does 99% of the time i do it in car parks and on roads it's better to have a whinging/embarrassed child than the alternative :(

[OhDearNigel]

Wash, stupid autocorrect ! Gives me the Heebie Jeebies !

[OhDearNigel]

Yanbu. I may be a horrible, wrist gripping disciplinarian but hopefully it will stop Dd being run over. Toddlers running loose on pavements gives methe Henie jefe bird

[Startail]

YANBU

DD does dances, one of her classmates little sisters will never join them. She was killed by a reversing people carrier.

[NorthernLurker]

Well it comforts me enormously to know that there are so many of you out there with 'carpark rules'

[crashdoll]

I'm 24 and when I sit in the front of the car with my mum and she brakes suddenly, she puts her hand out of stop me jolting forward. I did say I've been able to support my own head for almost a quarter of a century, so I think I'd manage but she says it's a reflex.

[Armi]

I'm 38 and my mother still holds my hand in car parks and when crossing the road!

[SanityClause]

My DC would probably all chorus together "being in a carpark is like walking on a road" if you asked them my what my stance on this was when they were younger. In fact, DS, who is my youngest, and is now 9 is still a bit dippy about carparks and roads, and still needs some supervision.

[crashdoll]

I love all you hysterical car park rule parents.

Just today, a boy of about 5 or 6 was meandering by himself in the middle of a fucking car park. It's a car park known for twatty driving. You can hear the beeps from about a mile away as drivers act wanky and get told off about it. There was really no excuse. Someone must have called him over because he suddenly legged it and he was inches from my car, really quite scary.

[ShadowStorm]

YANBU. Very careless behaviour on the part of the parents.

DS (20 months) is only allowed to walk on pavements next to roads, car parks etc if he's got his reins on and we're holding his hand as well as the reins. If he starts trying to wriggle free and run off then he either gets picked up and carried or put back in his pushchair.

He's not happy about being picked up or put back in the pushchair, but I'd rather have a tantruming DS than one under a car's wheels.

[YoniTrix]

YANBU. There's a space at my DD's nursery where you have to reverse really close to the nursery door to get out of it. I'm always ultra aware about watching for people coming to the door.

I was half way out of the space when I saw a parent and his child of about 2 come to the door. I stopped and the dad walked behind my car and over to his. No sign of the child. Clearly I didn't move until I could see the father had the child.

What sort of lunatic lets his toddler walk behind a reversing car without holding its hand?!?!?

[Freddiemisagreatshag]

My dad grabbed my hand the last time we were out in town.

I am 45.

[cocolepew]

YANBU. DH shouted at 2 boys over Easter in an underground carpark. They were maybe about 7 or 8 and were running around it. There was hardly any room for 2 cars to pass but cars were still going too fast.

DH shouted at them to watch there was cars and the parents who were way in front and around a corner, called to them. When they got to the parents they started to shout at them so DH went to "have a word" with them too.

[passthetequila]

YANBU. I still tell my nearly 15 yo to be careful when dropping her off in the car park for guides/clubs. She does the 'oh mum' face but I can't get out of the habit

[stillfeel18inside]

Totally agree, it makes my blood boil to see this, and there's something arrogant somehow, rather than just naive, about the parents that do this. When my DC were small, I had friends hinting that I was too protective as it was so important for children to "learn about danger" - er, not by letting them run around near cars. They're not going to "learn" much if it ends up being the last thing they do. I just can't understand this mentality.

They all learn how to cross roads etc by the time they're 8 or 9 or so, which is before they usually need to be really independent (ie going to school on their own, going into town with friends etc)

[SarahAndFuck]

I shout "car park rules" at my DS (age 4) as well.

I am amazed at how many people I see wandering out of our local shop and straight across the road, while a tiny child dawdles behind them. They don't hold hands, they don't even seem to look at their child behind them on the road, and it is a busy one with a parking bay and a bad layout that means there are three corners right by the shop so it's hard to look to see if anything is coming.

[TiredFeet]

Yanbu. My rule with ds near roads/in car parks is 'hold my hand or I will carry you like a baby'. He knows it is non-negotiable. Only downside is sometimes he decides he wants to be carried like a baby.

It is also the reason I always reverse into parking spaces and drive very slowly in car parks. I am shocked at the speed some parents drive intot the nursery/primary school car park near us. Absolutely shocked. Everyone has a responsibility to keep children safe

[IsThatTrue]

YANBU I still hold both kids hands in car parks/crossing roads, the oldest is 8.

[BabyMakesTheYoniGoStretchy]

My mindees and DC are a bit older than the tot in the OP but we have a hands on the car rule for car parks. When each child gets out of the car they put both hands on it as I take the next child out. Then its hold hands.

When out walking on paths I use red/green. They are allowed to go so far ahead and then I shout red,which means stop. When I catch up I say green. There's also no running allowed because of the very busy roads here. If someone breaks the rules they must walk with their hand on the pushchair. For crossing the road its all holding hands.

[Crikeyblimey]

We always say "car park rules apply" and have done dice ds was able to walk. He's 10 now and still I insist he holds my hand or walks next to me on a car park. No compromise on that rule ever. He also used to believe that the car engine wouldn't start till everyone was buckled in (he knows this is not true now but never once tried to wriggle out of his carseat. Some rules just can't be broken.

[Pozzled]

Good point about the driveways, not sure who mentioned them. Where we live, every second or third house has a drive or paved front garden, and I find it really hard with my 4 year old. She's perfectly able to run or scoot ahead and stops well back from roads, but if she stopped at every driveway there'd be no point in taking the scooter.

[StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes]

DS is 17 and I still try to hold onto him near roads

[phantomnamechanger]

I have actually hit a child in a car park .

Totally his fault - he was 11 and running in and out of parked cars messing with friends - he ran out from behind a van (so I could not see him coming)straight into my car! luckily he was OK enough to run off when a passer by came to assist me, we got his name address and school from friends and reported it to police just in case his parents tried at a later point to track me down for ££££ - but by God it shook me up.

Mine have all used reins - sick of people saying "I wouldn't put my toddler on a lead like a dog" - the simple fact is, if you are walking a dog in a public place you DO keep them on a lead for safety, so why ever not do the same with your DC. Lady at school has preschool twins who she lets run on ahead of her, crossing driveways, alongside a busy road full of parked cars - she could not grab them both at the same time if she needed to, makes my blood run cold TBH

DS is 8 and I still regularly point out that he must walk right by my side as with all these taller cars he still could not be seen by a reversing driver. I have also taught all mine to look for cars that have someone in the driving seat/the engine running/reversing light on as this means they might be about to move off and they do not always look for pedestrians