To be annoyed with boss

[SaveWaterDrinkMalibu]

Posted in childcare sectioned too

Am a nanny who works term time only

First day back today - walk into work to find the kitchen stacked with about 4 piles of bowls and plates etc etc - couldn't even make my charges packed lunch as no space

Mum boss tells me I need to stay in all day to tidy kitchen and do the washing - I expected 1/2 loads but no she's left me all the last 2 weeks washing and is expecting at least half done today including dried and put away

Aibu to be annoyed

[TerrysNo2]

YANBU

My nanny wasn't doing as much as I wanted her to when she joined and I realised it was because I hadn't been clear enough in telling her her duties. I wrote a list for her of what I considered what should be her responsibilities (tidying kids rooms, doing kids washing, cleaning up communal areas after use). Now she does everything I ask but nothing more (which can be a bit frustrating when she loads everything into the dishwasher except one cup I used).

Maybe you need to flip the tables and tell your employer what you think your duties should be. IME communication is key to manage expectations and therefore maintain good relationships.

[LittleBairn]

Ok then I would speak to her tonight but avoid txting.
What does your contract say? Sometimes they are (on purpose) vague you may want some points clarified and then have it rewritten.

Do you keep a nanny diary? Of so I would list everything you did and how long it took to make it clear how much you have done but also pointing out that time could have been better spent doing something fun/educational with her DC.

[Gigondas]

She is taking the piss. My nanny is a nanny/housekeeper but I only Expect her to do work on house stuff and our clothes as it arises. I still wash and clean when she isn't in and also have cleaner for heavy lifting.

The lack of cleaning materials and nappies is bizarre - are they tight or disorganised?

[SaveWaterDrinkMalibu]

This morning was literally me walk in, she walk out as she did she said stay in do most washing and clean kitchen

[LittleBairn]

Is it your first nanny job too? Learning how to deal with bosses can be a bit of a learning curve, I know I was to keen to please in the early years that I did way more than whats necessary.

I mean this kindly, you have also let the situation become what it is now by allowing it creep up over the last few months.
I would be careful about sending texts of that nature it could be taken wrong being seen as snippy and unprofessional. The time to tackle your boss about it was this morning when you arrived texting now is only going to confuse her if you were fine this morning.
Personally I would do as much as possible today just to keep the peace but I would ask tonight to schedule a proper meeting where you can both discuss your role what your contract says in compassion to what your are doing but also what they SEE your role as being and if that matches with your ideas of it too.

[SaveWaterDrinkMalibu]

Sugar - most certainly won't be going to supermarket and she knows I won't - personal reasons which she understands

Oh and just checked for more nappies and wipes and there's none! I've got 2 nappies and half a pack of wipes!

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

If she thinks this is how nannies work after a 2 week break can you imagine how she'll be during the summer hols....?

[Ionasky]

Agree with littlebairn plus I wondered has your boss recently got a promotion/more money or is working for one? It seems odd to be that remiss unless something else going on. I'd raise all the recent ways you are doing more and ask for an expanded role/salary. If she says no, at least you've made your expectations clear and if you aren't happy with the extra work then at least make it clear you've noticed.

[Sugarice]

Save be prepared for the text from her asking you to nip to the supermarket to pick up new washing powder and she'll reimburse you later.

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

Hope you practise your "You must be joking" face for when she comes home and comments on any washing or dirty crocks still piled up.

[Sugarice]

5alive great news for the dc, freedom at last!

[SaveWaterDrinkMalibu]

Started in Sept so yes new but I'll tell them what I think, have text mum boss saying that
'A had to have school dinner today as no space to make packed lunch and I had no time to clear up all you left by the time we had to leave. Also there's only enough washing powder for 2 washes so won't all be done'

[5alive4life]

yep he couldnt believe it. I just said that his dc is nearly 6 and that they really shouls be able to play for 2 hours after school with their friends and be able to enjoy their own friendships without younger sibling. mum agreed so looks like we will be able to accept playdates

[LittleBairn]

savewater are you new to nannying?
I remember during my early years (I'm 11 years in) that I did way more that what was fair but I never really spoke up about it meaning my employers didn't acknowledge they were taking advantage.
Now a days I'm better at communicating with bosses, personally I found the best solution was to start as you mean to go on.

[SaveWaterDrinkMalibu]

Have sorted the clothes and there's about 6 loads!

Dishwasher is full and still loads left

Charge currently asleep but the second he wakes up that's the washing etc done



As for them being lazy - just sorting clothes and have put a few to be chucked as they have mould spores on them!

[Sugarice]

5alive I knew there was a neurotic dad some poor Nanny on mn had to deal with!

Dad was raging was he, how odd he is, don't suppose things have changed then?

[ThreeWheelsGood]

Legally speaking in the UK I think a nanny is not meant to do housework etc unless contacted. You're a qualified childcare giver.

[5alive4life]

sugar that is my employer and I actually sent charge on a play to friends house right before school holidays. younger charge had gunky eye so i called mum and said older would miss out can I not just pick dc up after tea as I didnt think it was fair to bring gunky eye charge to another home. dad was raging but mum said it was okay!

[Ujjayi]

Okay so if things are slowly creeping in and changing you need to be assertive and put a stop to it now. It sounds like a prudent time to ask for a review of your employment/performance (ie giving you the opportunity to say what you think and feel too).

She is taking the proverbial if she hasn't done any washing for two weeks and has left you with a stack of pots to wash. Sorry to hear you are being subjected to this kind of p*ss take. Some people have an over inflated sense of entitlement - particularly relating to anyone they employ. However, their entitlement extends only as far as the T&Cs of your contract and they clearly need a reminder of that fact.

As others have said, do the DCs washing but do it at your own pace. You are a nanny, not a housekeeper so personally, I would ignore the pots that need washing (unless you actually need them to use today) and clear up after yourself and DCs only.

[LittleBairn]

I'm a nanny I care for the children and only clean up after us. I would not be coming into clean up after them unless I had a nanny-housekeeper role. I make sure the house is clean and tidy for when I leave I expect the same courtesy for when I arrive but I don't mind putting away breakfast dishes, hanging the odd load of washing on the line but I don't clean for them.
You need to be upfront with them to make your role and duties clearer, maybe suggest they get a cleaner.

[5alive4life]

i am a nanny and i do the washing for everyone within reason. mum,dad,and 2 children. Mum puts her and her husbands washing into the empty machine in the am and i add the childrens and put a wash in and then hang the clean clothes up. I unload the dishwasher in the morning and add to it all day,they turn it on at night. There have been times I have come on a monday and its obvious no laundry has been done all weekend but 2 weeks bloody hell thats disgusting!! id wash only childrens washing if I was their nanny today!!!

[annh]

You need to have a chat before this gets completely out of control. First day back after a break is a good time as it is so obvious that they have left an unacceptable work-load for you. I would have a word this evening before you leave and politely point out that you are a nanny, not a housekeeper and quote the part from your contract outlining your housekeeping duties in relation to the children. Meantime, I would work, at a reasonable pace, through the laundry and dishes today. Separating the clothes into the adults and children is probably possible, the dishes less so (who has enough dishes to last that long?) but if you do say 50% of them, I would expect that to more than equal what the children have used and not to have to do the rest tomorrow. Normally, I'm sure you wouldn't be so picky as to not include adult dishes or clothing in "normal" loads but this is taking the p@£s!

[SaveWaterDrinkMalibu]

Sugar - dont think I've posted about that but yeh dad is a bit like that

[Sugarice]

Apologies if I'm wrong, is your Employer the Dad who insists on you accompanying your elder charge when he is invited to the homes of other children to play?

[Spandler]

Sounds like she wants a full time skivvy rather than a nanny. I don't blame you for feeling pissed off