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AIBU?

My toddler can run faster than me. Aibu to not have expected this?

34 replies

reneaa2 · 02/04/2013 09:20

My 22 month old can now out run me and has no sense of danger.

I am struggling with tantrums about this on a daily basis and am upset that no friends have ever mentioned this!

Am I the only parent who has this issue?

(I am not a particularly slow runner in te first place, although I am getting faster now).

OP posts:

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ElliesWellies · 02/04/2013 12:07

Can he really outrun you? Do you have a disability that prevents you from running properly, because otherwise it really should not be the case (unless you are heavily pregnant or something).

You have to get strict, I think. We live in London. DS is 2y4m - he is not allowed to walk in the street unless he holds hands, and if he refuses then he gets warned once, and then straight in the pushchair. I have a wrist link as a failsafe as am 40 weeks pregnant and if he twisted away he could be in the road before I could get him (though to be fair to him he is usually very good and the threat of the pushchair is enough).

In parks / open spaces, are you sure that you're not just giving him too much of a headstart, i.e. you're not sticking close enough to him? Especially near gates he could escape through.

teacherwith2kids · 02/04/2013 10:57

"Fortunately I can still outsmart him into a corner or bribe him occaisonally as well to come back. "

I'm a bit worried by this, tbh. You are the adult. For his safety, you have to make and enforce the rules - but you also have to create opportunities for him to run - every day, at least, preferably more - where rules are not needed.

If your discipline in this - and his safety - relies on the 'lucky event' that you can outsmart him or bribe him, then you are not sufficiently in charge to keep him safe.

A friend of mine, whose parenting I admired, once explained to me that she saw her role as setting absolute boundaries that kept her children safe, but allowing as much space within those boundaries as possible to give them freedom.

DontmindifIdo · 02/04/2013 10:46

He's old enough to understand rules like if he doesn't want to wear the reins, he has to walk nicely and not run away, so practice now, put him in the reins. Take them off when he's walked nicely holding you hand with them on.

DS is 3, and I am 30 weeks pregnant, he's a lot faster than me, but I'm just having to be really mean with him until he learns.

TheNebulousBoojum · 02/04/2013 10:38

I found lampposts useful as markers, 'You can run to the next lamp post, run to the one near the fence' etc Agree with the training being clear and uncompromising and needing to start ASAP.
Embarrassment? Entertainment?

teacherwith2kids · 02/04/2013 10:34

reneaa2,

Try out those ideas NOW so he is ready for the city. Make absolutely consistent rules, and enforce them every time.

I had a runner (who became a scooterer - and on that he could go WAY faster than me when I was pushing the pushchair with DD in it).

He hated reins, but if he ever failed to stop when asked, or to hold onto hand or pushcair when told to, they went on. We played many games of start / stop / go / run / walk - in our garden, then in our tiny rural lane, before trying it out anywhere where not stopping could be dangerous. We rehearsed the rules - stop at the end of the pavement, stop when an adult tells you to, hold onto an adult or pushchair if on a road with no pavement - so often that they became second nature, but also combined them with [at least] daily opportunities to run free in areas where the rules weren't needed.

Not having rules now, then trying to create them suddenly in a new environment, is likely to work less well than creating, and sticking to, rules now that you will want to use when he is in a city environment.

reneaa2 · 02/04/2013 10:22

Yes thanks for those ideas, going on holiday soon to city so will try them out then too. I already do the wrestle into buggy business when he is being dangerous and not tantruming. Fortunately I can still outsmart him into a corner or bribe him occaisonally as well to come back.

OP posts:

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 02/04/2013 10:10

Wilson

Yes, making a stop-go game is good. I used to chant "we're walking, we're walking' we're walking etc etc STOP". Worked well.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 02/04/2013 10:08

My DS2 (the runner) became brilliant at holding onto the buggy when it was necessary after being with a childminder. It taught be that if he could do it for her, he could do it for me.

WilsonFrickett · 02/04/2013 10:08

The back packs are less 'rein' like and if you're moving to a city and you can't catch him, it's not optional I'm afraid, he'll just have to be bribed get used to them. You can start practicing 'stop' too - make it into a game that he can run or walk but he has to stop the minute you say stop (or 'whoa', we did it as a horsie game) in a big voice. Make it fun for now, but it will be useful when you are in traffic situations.

Mumsyblouse · 02/04/2013 10:06

I had one runner (the other had to be tipped out of her pushchair aged 4). It was awful, I used to look at the other mums with children trotting nicely beside them and think 'how do they do that?' In the end, I went with reins when near busy roads, or being in the pushchair nicely then let out in park and then when a bit older I let her hold onto the pushchair and walk, with the penalty that if she let go/refused to behave nicely, she went back in the pushchair. We walked everywhere and she still loves running/cross-country now. It is not necessarily a bad thing to have an active child but it is tiring.

Notquite · 02/04/2013 10:06

Lassoo.

If he keeps it up, get him into an athletics club when he's 8.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 02/04/2013 10:05

If it is imperative he doesn't run off and he won't hold hands, warning that he must hold onto you/the buggy, and then into the buggy of he doesn't comply. Be consistent.

I had one who was a runner, and the other who was a dawdler, stopping to inspect every dog poo and discuss it in great, loud detail.

SolomanDaisy · 02/04/2013 10:04

I've amazed myself with just how quickly I can sprint small distances when I spot DS running towards danger. If he gets any faster I will need some sort of fitness regime.

crazydrunkevilhamster · 02/04/2013 10:02

Gollum
I can't take my Ds4 anywhere without his little life back pack & he hates wearing it but I gave him no choice as he loves to run in to on coming traffic

CitrusyOne · 02/04/2013 10:02

pickled I am bf dd and have just spat with laughter at gollom.

TheNebulousBoojum · 02/04/2013 10:01

Mine had reins with bells on and loved them.
But if you are moving to a city, then I'd definitely go for reins and make sure I was ready to sprint. Be grateful, DS has AS and I was having to pursue him on occasion when he was 10. He could really shift.

TastesLikePanda · 02/04/2013 09:56

PickledInAPearTree · 02/04/2013 09:54

My ds writhes around like gollum hissing with reins on. I tried in a shopping centre and he writhed in circles on the floor until they were off.

It was very embarrassing!

reneaa2 · 02/04/2013 09:40

I have reins, he hates them and behaves like a puppy straining to escape, screaming at the same time.

We live in a rural area at the moment and he has plenty of open spaces to run in. We will be moving to a city in a few months and not sure how he will be without the chance to run free. Although I can't help but think that maybe all the space here has helped him get so fast.

OP posts:

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 02/04/2013 09:36

Yabu and unfit. Get training! A toddler should not be able to outrun you. Compare the length of your legs to his. Join a gym.

LindyHemming · 02/04/2013 09:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrustratedSycamoresRocks · 02/04/2013 09:33

Yabu for expecting friends to have mentioned it. Not every child is a runner. (Dd1 never ran, dd2 is still a runner at 4)
You need to be constantly aware of the posibility that he will run, you might even find that there are triggers (standing still talking for too long),
You have 2 choices, invest in reins, or put your trainers on and ride out the storm.

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Lovelygoldboots · 02/04/2013 09:33

God this has upset you. Youve posted it twice

HollyBerryBush · 02/04/2013 09:31

This is what gated parks were invented for. Take one toddler to park. Release toddler. Sit down, open flask of coffee. Watch toddler vaguely whilst enjoying your ears freezing off. Collect toddler when collapsed in heap and exhausted.

This may take at least 2 hours. On the bright side, they sleep a lot better

PickledInAPearTree · 02/04/2013 09:27

Bloody hell, YANBU.

Look on the bright side he could be the next bolt!

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