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AIBU?

To make my 7 year old coffee

64 replies

McNewPants2013 · 31/03/2013 19:25

I heard that caffine has the opposite effect with children with austism/ ADHD.

My son has ADHD and after googling a bit it has conflicting advice.

Would you give a 7 year old coffee

OP posts:

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icklemssunshine1 · 01/04/2013 09:25

Don't know about the medical research but my DM started giving me coffee (Mellow Birds so debatable whether that's coffee!) at 7 as I suddenly went off tea and she was if the belief all DCs need a good hit drink inside them! I'm now 34 & still hate tea but as a coffee drinker of nearly 30 years I'm fit, healthy & (reasonably!) intelligent! Since having DD I've only drunk de-caff though. Everything in moderation is the key I think! I say give it a go!

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icklemssunshine1 · 01/04/2013 09:26

Ha ha just read back my post - sorry about the typos. So much for being reasonably intelligent ... :)

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minouminou · 01/04/2013 09:34

Adult ADD person here!
Anecdotally, I'm coffee-mad, but when I'm on Ritalin, I couldn't give a stuff for it! The caffeine is a stimulant, which is what you need for ADHD.

A good strong slug of coffee helps me to focus and pay attention, but the meds are better.

If he's seven, it might be worth thinking about Ritalin or similar. For me, it was a revelation.....do you know what....it made me feel better in myself. Calmer, no looking for trouble/stimulation. I could function better in social situations because I wasn't zipping off every few seconds and cutting people off mid-sentence.

Furthermore, being on the med for several years TAUGHT me how to behave better....I got better feedback from people.

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minouminou · 01/04/2013 09:42

You're not failing him. Ritalin or similar isn't like a chemical cosh....it won't zombie-fy him. Neither you nor your parenting has failed.

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KatyTheCleaningLady · 01/04/2013 09:58

No, I'm not defensive. I was just saying that I give it to them sometimes, but not before bedtime.

Also, I didn't read the whole thread before posting, so I have no opinion on adhd. I just think coffee is harmless in general.

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minouminou · 01/04/2013 10:02

I started drinking decent instant (as it were) at around age 11. But just one weak cup in the morning. Tbh, if he'sgot ADHD, he'd most likely need to be quaffing strong real coffee, and a lot of it to get any benefit.
This will not do his heart any good....and I think coffee inhibits the absorption of various nutrients.

On balance, I'd be looking at meds.

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McNewPants2013 · 01/04/2013 10:14

Thank you for the post minouminou.

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minouminou · 01/04/2013 10:18

No probs, my love.
Meds aren't a magic fix (although they will feel like it to your son!). There's still a lot of lessons to be learned and behaviour modification to be done....it's just that you're working with someone that's more like clay than mercury.
Which makes me sound bonkers......

We have a lot of ADD and dyslexia in both families....we have some high achievers, too.

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ThreeBeeOneGee · 01/04/2013 19:22

DS2 said that the meds helped him to slow down and concentrate enough to observe those around him and interpret the social cues they were giving.

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Lueji · 01/04/2013 19:51

Do you ever give him coke or pepsi?

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McNewPants2013 · 01/04/2013 19:54

No, because up till now I have thought that it would make his behaviour even worse and it wasn't a risk I was willing to make.

I am going to speak with his peadatricion about medication.

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minouminou · 01/04/2013 22:27

That's absolutely it, Threebee. It's a massive help. In a lot of ways, ADD people are more sensitive to other people's feelings, but just, quite literally, forget to watch out for and act on their perceptions. You're off and away in an eyeblink..... Slow that three-ring-circus-in-the-brain down a bit and it's like you've got a new person.

The good thing about the meds is that you can reduce/stop them over weekends and holidays.

I also used to (remember I started taking meds as an adult and so was more in control of my dosage) rate events/days out/boring duty-type days as "One, two or three Ritter" occasions. A wedding, for example, was a one-ritter...just enough to sit through the service and the polite BS without misbehaving or looking bored and restless. Then after the service and so on, I could relax, dance and get drunk!

A three-ritter would be a day of admin.

OP, I think you're doing the right thing. Give it a go - your son will be monitored and his dosage/medication adjusted/changed until you're getting the best effects.

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thetrackisback · 01/04/2013 22:49

OP A think you sound like you can't see the woods for the trees. Go see the doctor about medication you don't need to make decisions you can go and get information to make informed decisions.

Whilst your son is on holiday from school I would try some kind of caffeine based drink to see if there is any difference. You could be tying yourself in knots for no reason. It might not have an affect at all. I honestly can't see one or two glasses or cups being that damaging and it might just be what he needs. I think everyone is over thinking it!

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MadamFolly · 01/04/2013 23:18

Seriously OP you would not believe the difference medication makes, I have worked with ADHD children and it is the difference between pleasant, helpful child and a little demon who could be so uncontrollable and unkind. You would not have thought it was the same child.