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AIBU?

AIBU to think that pets are a luxury?

136 replies

E320 · 31/03/2013 14:57

prompted by a post on another board.
Do people also factor their cost (food, vet's bills, insurance etc.) into the monthly budget or even the weekly shopping (food)?

OP posts:
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DreamingOfTheMaldives · 31/03/2013 18:11

Our dog costs us £25 per month pet insurance and £25 per month in food. I could get cheaper food if I needed to. Worming and flea treatment costs probably £5 per month.

If I got rid of my dog I would be £55 per month richer but my life would be so much poorer. What he has brought to our lives over the last few years I cannot put a price on. He is part of the family and his costs are factored in to the monthly budget. I would eat the cheapest beans on the cheapest toast every night before I would get rid of him.

Although he may cost £55 per month, he is a good source of free entertainment - we much prefer going out walking for the day now we have him. The walks with a dog are so much more enjoyable than without a dog.

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babybythesea · 31/03/2013 18:15

And can I also add, the things I would class as luxuries (wine, cigarettes, trips to the gym, new clothes for me) are things for me. DD does still go to soft play from time to time, although I'd prefer to take her to the beach, she still gets treats in the shopping basket - and she gets a dog! If money is tight, I sacrifice things. Not DD. It's my choice to own a dog but DD still gets the benefit!

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babybythesea · 31/03/2013 18:18

And yes I agree it's irresponsible to get one until you can look after it properly, whether that's in terms of finance or time or whatever.
Which is why i waited more than 10 years before finally bringing the hound home. Same as I waited to have dd. Can't control what happens in the future though.

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TheSecondComing · 31/03/2013 18:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JollyBumps · 31/03/2013 18:18

Our fish are properly cared for and have an appropriate size tank. They cost very little because after the initial set up (about £250 I reckon) they only require food and heating.

They do get cleaned out regularly but our water isn't metered so it just costs us a little heating oil to heat the water we put in the tank.

Our filtration system will require to be replaced next year and this will cost us at least £50 but maybe up to £100.

So really, the costs are minimal.

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float62 · 31/03/2013 18:18

Great to see so many pet lovers here and sorry for those that can't have one but want one and those having a struggle to keep theirs. I think there is a strong correlation between this (pet lovers) and the niceness of all the posts on this thread.

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babybythesea · 31/03/2013 18:27

Going to the beach / on long walks is some thing we can ( and do) do regularly. I like to go for a long walk and then for a cup of tea in a cafe or some cake or pint and plate of chips. Not everywhere thankfully let's dogs in.

I've yet to be sat next to a staffie at the cinema or a lurcher at soft play (thank god) the two activities are not things you can do with a dog. Thankfully. We can and do make MCC use of the local water park, river, park and the dam at Lymm, choosing to wander round there regularly.

Our son is asthmatic, even if I wanted a dog or cat we couldn't have one, plus I hate dealing with shit tbh.



Which is all fine. I'm not sure I understand. I'd like to point out I can also go for the cuppa afterwards - the dog can sit in the car for the time it takes to drink it so having one doesn't prohibit me from doing the things you mentioned, any more than not having one stops you from walking on the beach. I also go to soft play (when i can't get out of it) - the dog stays home. No biggie. Same, when we do go to the cinema, applies there. It might mean i can't stay out for an entire day from early morning until late evening but to be honest I can't remember when we last came up with something we wanted to do that having the dog stopped us doing.
As I said, for me, having a dog is a big part of my lifestyle and something that is important to me and not so much a luxury - I certainly don't find I'm constrained by her presence, and if I don't go to the cinema so much to pay for her, I don't miss it, and dd certainly isn't deprived.

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TheSecondComing · 31/03/2013 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

infamouspoo · 31/03/2013 18:46

Is not going to the cinema being deprived then? Ive never been and I'm ancient as the hills. I reckon I must need counselling or something Grin for my evil parents! As an adult I just hate the thought of sitting with countless others while they eat and chomp so I've avoided the place. DS3 tells me its hugely overloud too.
Mind you, I will admit to not liking dogs very much. I like chickens. They lay eggs and you can eat them Wink

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TheNebulousBoojum · 31/03/2013 18:46

We've got a cat. No walks on beaches.
More snoring on lap.

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DreamingOfTheMaldives · 31/03/2013 18:47

TSC - you suggest that babybythesea is happy to do walks on the beach but maybe her kids are not and would prefer to do soft play etc. Perhaps your children would prefer to have a pet to love, look after and play with rather than the thing you choose for them.

I grew up with pets and if I'd been asked 'go to the cinema once a month or get rid of the dog/cat' I know which I'd have picked - my furry mates without a shadow of a doubt.

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DreamingOfTheMaldives · 31/03/2013 18:49

That should have said cinema once a month or KEEP the dog/cat

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TheNebulousBoojum · 31/03/2013 18:50

We can afford a pet, and food and shoes and the cinema and everything.
If times were hard, we'd cut down on a lot of things before the cat was in the deal.
I think that's all most of us are saying, TSC.

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marriedinwhiteagain · 31/03/2013 19:01

What DD would rather have:

New clothes - nope
shoes - nope
meals out - nope
cinema - OK
theatre - OK
musical - yes
Ghastly music - yes
school trips - some
Party - maybe
Theme parks - yes
Dog - yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

She can have everything except a dog. She is 15 and beyond herself with desperation. DS would love one too. They will both have left home in three years and guess who isn't taking it for walks twice a day - now or then. Guess who looks after dd's cats?

Oh god, how would the cats take it?

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TheNebulousBoojum · 31/03/2013 19:04

Why doesn't she look after her own cats?
Our cat is really DS's, he feeds it, loves it and deals with the litter tray. Only thing I do is the medication, because he's too soft. Smile

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marriedinwhiteagain · 31/03/2013 19:13

Coz I'm soft and needy and they luff me best because I feed them.

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TheNebulousBoojum · 31/03/2013 19:14

Fair enough. Smile
So get a dog only if you want one and are prepared to do everything.

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babybythesea · 31/03/2013 19:23

TSC: Sorry baby, I misunderstood, I thought you said you couldn't/ didn't do the cinema because you were skint? And prioritised pet ownership over spending cash on your kid/heating.

We'll never agree on this one. I said people prioritising pets over leisure for their kids was ballsed up priorities financially. You've said you prefer to walk down the beach with your dog than do stuff kid orientated (dog walking is a chore IMO) it is your choice, not necessarily your kids though is all I am saying.


We are skint and so cinema is one of the things we don't do. But at the moment, as I said, DD is only four and the one cinema trip we tried wasn't successful, so it's us that have our leisure dictated by the dog rather than her at this point.
Soft play - we do from time to time but she's just as happy at the beach and that's free and dog friendly. We don't eat out really, but eating out for us would involve getting babysitters so DD isn't missing out by us choosing not to do this either, or by us not eating a chinese every week. The sacrifices I make are just that, as far as I can see. Mine. No visits to the gym, no magazines or newspapers, and I would far rather have my dog than do this kind of stuff. And why is walking down a beach with your dog not kid orientated? I'd have said playing on a beach is one of the most kid orientated things you could do!

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TheNebulousBoojum · 31/03/2013 19:24

'I'd have said playing on a beach is one of the most kid orientated things you could do!'

Absolutely. One of our favourite things for years.

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crashdoll · 31/03/2013 19:37

When I got my dog, my financial position was much more comfortable. Hopefully, after my degree, I'll be in a better financial position again. I made a commitment when I got him and I will sacrifice for him because I chose to have him. Before I developed an illness that affected my mobility, I adored walking him. It was certainly not a chore. We explored places I never knew existed and I've lived in the same area for over 20 years. Fortunately, I have a supportive family who walk him but when they can't, I pay for a dog walker. That's just the way the cookie has crumbled.

I would not choose to get a dog now given my financial position but I have him now and his welfare is paramount. Imagine the outrage if I posted on here that I was rehoming my dog because I chose to leave my job and go to university. (Not that I would ever do this!) I'd rather pay for his pet insurance and decent quality food and go without. I don't care if I'm judged for this. It's my choice. It was my choice to get a dog, knowing that good health and good finances were not a given.

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ChoudeBruxelles · 31/03/2013 19:48

Our first dog was ds's 5th birthday presents. He went without pretty much any other non-dog related presents to get his beloved dog. We inherited our other dog when my mum passed away and it's nice to think that we are looking after him for her - rather than putting him in rescue kennels.

We go to the cinema but usually go to kids am at vue which cost £1.50 each and I take a bag of sweets with us rather than buy pop on there.

He enjoys us all going for walks as a family - given the choice of zoo or something else tomorrow he asked to go for a bike ride (the dogs will come too).

TSC you clearly aren't a dog/cat person and prioritise other things - which is fine. Others make different choices.

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D0oinMeCleanin · 31/03/2013 19:50

For some people they are not a luxury. My very ill and depressed father has four dogs, three of his own and one end of life foster. He never meant to have four, he only ever wanted one, he just accidentally collected the rest.

Before he got the first dog he would sleep for days on end, rarely washed, rarely left the house, never spoke to anyone etc.

He now walks for two hours a day, has a whole new group of friends and has to get out of bed to see to his dogs. He can't afford them, per se, but we have an unspoken agreement whereby I pay for any emergency treatment the dogs might need so they save on pet insurance. I also help out with other essentials such as replacing the PC he needed to keep going the business he set up in order to fund his dogs.

Those dogs have literally saved his life.

We are fortunate in that we can afford my dogs without going without, we have a great network of people who provide holiday care for us, although Devil Dog ends up in kennels sometimes, depending on how many arch nemesis he has collected through the year and whether there is space anywhere where won't end up eating or being eaten by another resident dog, we are never short of carers for Whippy or fat cat. I'll happily leave them alone to go to the cinema (not so much soft play, but that is more because I despise soft play) and cab leave them for whole days occassionally knowing that my Dad will come round and walk them for me half way through the day.

We are going away in August, Whippy will be going camping with my parents, Devil Dog may or may not go into kennels, depending upon whether his latest enemy at the foster co-ordinators house finds a home between now and then. We are away again in Sept, that will be more difficult as I will need to fund kennel space for my Devil Dog and two of my Dad's, the other two have their own dedicated babysitters and Whippy can go to our foster co-ordinator, so that weekend could potentially cost me another weeks holiday, but they're worth it to us. The neighbour will feed fat cat and the fish.

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SillyTilly123 · 31/03/2013 19:55

I have a large aquarium (50 + fish) a cat and a dog. I'm not sure what they cost as I get stuff as I need it, don't really budget but if I was not able to afford them anymore, I would get rid of the fish (emotional attachment not as strong with them, though I'd be gutted) but I would never ever consider getting rid of the cat or dog. I would get rid of my car before them (that's the biggest expense we have at about £130 a month)

My dds all love the dog (they're indifferent to the cat as he doesn't do much) and if I said to them we will have to either get rid of the dog or no (whatever) I know they'd choose the dog. (I put whatever as tbh my kids don't do regular things -even before we got the dog- we might go to softplay one week, swimming the next, day at the fair/beach or some weeks we will do nothing more than visit friends)

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midastouch · 31/03/2013 21:29

Thats really lovely D0oinMeCleanin [busmile]

We arent particularly well off but i dont feel that having dogs means my DCs lose out, we may not go to the cinema, soft play but to be fair who wants to? or go on holiday but they have DVDS they get plenty of xmas and birthday presents, we go out in holidays to places that are free or using tesco rewards. Dogs dont have to come everywhere with you they are fine home alone for a few hours.
We would be a lot better off in terms of money but i certainly wouldnt be happy without my doggies and my DCs love them too!

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SandraSue · 31/03/2013 21:33

I think they're as much a luxury as children are. Some people want chiödren, some don't. Some want pets, some dont. Smile

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