To be funding it hard to bite my tongue re weaning

[HugeFloweryPants]

I accepted a long time ago that a friend and I parent differently and am quite happy with that, horses for courses. I breastfeed and go with the flow and she's a routine queen with 4 hour bottles etc. BUT I'm finding it hard to bite my tongue now we're on our second babies regarding weaning, she's well informed/ educated but has a big baby that 'needs' early weaning...but it's taken to extremes...
7/8 weeks baby rice
8 weeks rusks at bed time (trying to keep 4 hrs between bottles)
now 10 weeks
morning: eg porridge powder stuff
dinner: eg powdered meal by heinz (not seen but described)
tea: rusk

...and today exclaiming he's dropped a few centiles

I know I lentil weave a tad...but give me perspecrive, surely this is outside the norm and not a good idea? Mine would have been unfeedable then due to tongue thrusting.Or am I just not used to this as I've never bought ready made baby food?

[ubik]

That's interesting because when i was weaning my children (3,6,8) the advice was between 4/6 months but hold off as long as you can.

Weaning at 4 months is very common

[Thingiebob]

I'm confused. All the evidence and research says she shouldn't be doing this for very good reasons and the poster is concerned.

So why all the comments about 'keeping her nose out' and 'none of your business' and so on. Why is it ok to let a friend do something which is potentially dangerous to her child and not mention anything?

I probably would say something.

[freddiemisagreatshag]

Why on earth do you care? Not your child, not your business.

[Feminine]

Oh I know , I did 4 months with my eldest (now 14)

I think (in retrospect) it was a bit early.

I only B/fed him for a year as those seemed to be the advice given out then.

[ubik]

I don't think it's "smug" to think that my child will be fine just because they are happy healthy children right now.

Conversely you could argue that it is "smug" to thinkj your child will be fine just "playing" with food for the first year - - advice changes all the time

And in reality it probably matters far more what you feed your child as they are growing up.

[Feminine]

True. ubik I wasn't aiming my "smug" comment at yours btw.

But...(sorry) while digestive systems are developing I think we should be a bit careful. :)

[chocoflump]

YABU

This really pisses me off. What's it to do with you what she feeds her child? I weaned both my children early, they are MY children and it was MY choice. Just like its YOUR choice when to wean YOUR children

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

Because it may not be the best thing for the baby.

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

I wonder if all the people telling the OP that SIBU and should keep her nose out, are also the ones that weaned early.

[ubik]

And there are degrees of poor weaning ...a housing officer friend was at a house recently where the mother was feeding the baby custard in a bottle 'to build him up.'

[Feminine]

ubik goodness.

[chocoflump]

But it's not her baby!!

The mum knows her child best.

[Feminine]

pobble I suspect you may be correct

[Feminine]

choco what does the Mum know?

not all, but mostly I suspect mum thinks she will get a better nights sleep, and its fun to play with ice-cream.

no deeper.

[freddiemisagreatshag]

I was weaned early on rusk in my bottle.

When I had DS who is early-twenties, he was put on hungry baby milk on the advice of the HV at 3 weeks because he was "starving" and then weaned onto rusk and baby rice at 7 weeks. HV advice again.

Fast forward to DD who is 11 and all the advice had changed. She was weaned at 16 weeks and I was lazy so it was a bit hit and miss and a lot of BLW only I didn't know it was called that.

Advice is just advice, it's not the law, and it changes all the time.

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

chocoflump Thu 21-Mar-13 10:58:19
But it's not her baby!!

The mum knows her child best.

Not the OP! I meant the mum!

So the mum magically knows that her baby needs rusks and baby rice at eight weeks? Despite the fact that babies get their calorie intake from milk not food, and that feeding early can cause gut problems. That a baby waking up overnight is normal, they are suposed to, that they dont need baby rice to fill them up so they don't. That larger babies have the same gut maturity as any others. Did her baby reach out for the rusk? I doubt it.

Mums don't always know best. She is either uninformed in which case she needs to see her HV, or she's choosing to ignore any information she was given. In which case she's an idiot. It's about making informed decisions.

[chocoflump]

Feminine do you know this mother? How do u know that?

I didn't feed my children early to get a better nights sleep or because it was fun. I fed them because I know my children and I know they were ready for weaning.

We were all weaned way before the 6 month stage- why have we not all got bowel problems and intolerances?

Intolerances are actually more common now than they used to be.

Anyway- you do what you want to do with your children and don't judge others for their choices. Weaning early does not make you a bad mother.

[Feminine]

no, choco it doesn't make you a bad mother.

How did you know they were ready? what did they do?

Yes, our generation were weaned earlier. There are masses of people of my age group (40's) that suffer from dreadful bowl problems.

We learn all the time. Things have changed massively since I had my first in '98.

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

I've got IBS, so has my Mum. My brother and I both had eczema as children.

I just don't understand how you can tellian eight week old is ready to wean, what are you basing that on?

[MooMooSkit]

I think YABU to say something but I don't think you are being unreasonable to silently judge. Unless you start seeing signs that the baby is not well, not progressing then I wouldn't say anything if I was you.

I don't think as well the whole thing about what was in the past is relevant. I was born in the mid 80's and was weaned from an early age and have no issues aside from epilepsy which is obviously genetic as both my grandads have it but then obviously there are children weaned early who do have issues so no one really knows what causes these things do they?

I waited till my LO was 6 months though (well, with a try of a mushed up rusk 2 weeks before he turned 6 months)

[Feminine]

I think we understand more about food allergy than in previous generations.

We are better diagnosed. That is why there appears to be more.

It common sense that a baby will have an immature digestive system surely?

if not suggested by a health worker then its not needed IMO.

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

I don't think SIDS is promoted as much as it should be. But as for the co-sleeping, research changes and is updated all the time. Now they recommend a dummy and cot bumpers have been taken off the risk list (as far as I'm aware).

It's very difficult to get rear facing car seats for older children.

Basing what you do now on what people did thirty years ago doesn't make any sense. As a nurse surely you want me to do my job based on the latest research and evidence. Why is bringing up a child different?