I have been holding off on this for some time, 9 years if I'm really honest. My friend has struggled for years. Three DC at home, recently dispatched her DH because of domestic violence and because he attacked one of the children. Social services involvement and courts.
She has been struggling to cope on her own, if anything the situation for the children has become worse. The children stink, there is no food in the house, they do not have coats, their shoes do not fit, there hair is matted. One child is refusing to go to school and has started smashing the house up. When we visited last week there was old food and rubbish all over the floor in the kitchen, no bin, piles of wet washing, no cloths, no clean dishes, cigarette buts all over the sitting room floor, glass smashed....
She has had her benefits stopped and has about 2,500 rent arrears and yet she is running around with an iphone on which she has run up a bill just short of £500 this month.
She is taking men back to the house, sometimes two in one day for hook ups, spending social services loan on travel to meet men.
The final straw yesterday, she rang in tears threatening to leave her children to move in with some man. She had no food for the Dcs and her money had not come through. I offered to feed the children and offered her the use of our phone/pc to try and sort of TCs. She turned up at 6pm, dressed up with an overnight bag. She left her son aged 11 roaming around the streets whilst she got on a train to meet a "date" in London.
I am very concerned about her and them and I don't want to go behind her back. So do I tell her what I am doing or just ring SS and then back away?
Any opinions?
AIBU?
To call social services on a friend?
MiniTheMinx · 07/03/2013 10:44
Yes you must. If in any doubt at all, consider what will happen if you don't, if no one does. Please help those children. 
MaggieMaggieMaggieMcGill
That is what DP suspects. He works with women who have BPD she has suffered terribly so understandable really.
I have just rung SS and I need to ring back at 12.30 to speak to social worker. The lady I spoke to confirmed that the children are known to them. I am sitting here shaking because I feel so anxious.
littlewhitebag
I am going to make a list so I can remember everything. I feel that although they are known the SS who is doshing out the money card and food parcels has got a very partial picture of what is happening.
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Of course you're emotional! She's a friend & doing what needs to be done isn't always easy 
You are doing the right thing though. She can't be certain it was you and those poor kids need it. She may get the help she needs to by the sounds of it.
Mini if she knows you used to work for SS she may actually be hoping you do something on her behalf wrt to contacting them. I wouldn't say anything to her at all, just tell them absolutely everything you know and even the stuff you merely suspect. I'd probably call the school too to try and make sure the maximum number of people with the power to do something are looking out for those kids.
I think you're doing absolutely the right thing. What a sad situation all round and you're a good friend to her and her family, even if she doesn't or can't appreciate it right now for whatever reason
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.