To ask my OH to clear You Porn from my iPad history?!

[Tinks30]

So I firstly have to say I don't mind if my OH wants to watch porn. We have a good sex life and he's not playing away. I just get so hacked off at switching on my iPad to be faced with a freeze frame of some porn video! This is not the first time he's done this and I don't for one minute think its done intentionally but how can I broach this subject? Get it off my iPad!

[Fairenuff]

Tinks it just seemed a bit strange that you needed to 'pluck up the courage' to talk to him about it if he already knew that you wouldn't mind. Something didn't add up there.

But now it seems that something has come to light that you are not so ok about. If you want support, advice, whatever, just say. Let us know what the real problem is and we'll help if we can.

[SpanishFly]

anyfucker ditto, knew there was more to it than we were being told...

[Allthingspretty]

Tell him to wank and wipe (his search his history)

[AnyFucker]

Are you ok, love?

What has come to light?

I didn't think you were wasting my time, or else I wouldn't still be here on your thread (my flippancy was actually because it was quite clear to me that something was off kilter here)

[StuntGirl]

What issuestinks? Please don't tell me he's thrown the "I don't get it enough from you so you forced me into it" card?

[cantpooinpeace]

Iporn
(Chortle)

[Tinks30]

It seems I've posted this in the wrong forum.
I was looking for support/encouragement. On the most part I got that and I did pluck up the courage to discuss the issue. We spoke again today and apparently it's unearthed some issues that I was completely oblivious to. Sorry, if any of you felt I was wasting your time.
Turns out it wasn't "cool" after all AnyFucker.

[AnyFucker]

OP was nervous about talking to her partner about it, so started this thread for some moral support

Which does seem a bit odd, as everything is so "cool"

[Fairenuff]

I don't understand the point of this thread.

"My dh watches porn which is fine by me. Sometimes he forgets to clear it off my iPad when he's finished wanking. I'm going to talk to him about it and he will be cool."

Which bit was supposed to be the AIBU bit?

[BelaLugosisShed]

You shouldn't save browsing history on ipads/iphones anyway, it clogs them up, even if you regularly delete history, safari saves everything if you don't use private browsing.
The google app saves all searches too unless you turn it off and it also keeps all websites visited via google on ipads.

[AnyFucker]

Could I at least ask you why you needed a thread on MN, and a fair bit of air-punching "I can do this" self-psyching up to broach this with your husband ?

If all is hunky dory, and you just needed a quiet word, why the drama ?

[Tinks30]

Ok, so had the conversation. Very painless....for me at least! He was a bit sheepish and massively apologetic. I can't explain why it doesn't bother me it just doesn't. I'm not making excuses for him but I don't have particularly strong feelings about him watching it. This doesn't make me weak or whatever. I just don't want to see it myself. Thanks for your advice though. I grabbed the bull by the horns and just addressed it!

[Snazzynewyear]

The OP could presumably clear the history herself. The point is she shouldn't have to. If you are ok with him watching it, OP, that's one thing but I don't see why it has to be on your time (as it were) on your device (hasn't he got am alternative?) and certainly given that the kids also use your iPad. For all those reasons, I would be saying that he can no longer use your pad for this purpose. You can draw a line between saying 'I don't mind if you do this' and 'I do mind you using my stuff to do this'.

[Fanjounchained]

And I agree that the OP's partner is being an arse and very inconsiderate for not clearing the history...If you're cool with him looking at it then it should be a very easy conversation to have when you ask him to clear the history.

[Fanjounchained]

What about women that watch it and enjoy it ? (Not necessarily You Porn but porn in general...)

[AnyFucker]

You are not alone, SF

But I am heartily sick of attempting to puncture the denial of women who think their partner's use is a bit of a laugh, just "something men do" akin to forgetting to put the bins out

[SpanishFly]

I dont get the OP's attitude about this at all -
"He'll be cool about it if a bit embarrassed at first."

HE'LL be cool about it?! WTF? HE'S the one being completely unreasonable, so he SHOULDN'T be "cool" about it. And in any case, who cares if he's cool or embarrassed when he's behaving like a child?

[midastouch]

YANBU but i would say that, i do not like my DP watching porn we've had rows about it actually. Plus my DS uses our tablet so if he was to do that id go mad!!

[Snazzynewyear]

Password protect your iPad and say if he wants to watch it he needs to do that on a device of his own. Don't understand why he doesn't do that anyway.

[almostanotherday]

AF got it right IMO

[ChairmanWow]

My DH doesn't watch porn because he actually has respect for women. We're old fashioned like that in our house.

I had an ex who used to leave porn sites open. He was an emotionally abusive misogynist arsehole. Not saying your OH is too, but why the fuck wouldn't you take 2 seconds to clear it? Inconsiderate at best.

[SpanishFly]

Which seems a back-to-front attitude.

[SpanishFly]

I think you missed my point, OP. My point was that you're OK with him watching porn, but NOT OK with asking telling him to be a bit more grownup in the way he does it.

[Tinks30]

No, his is always password protected. We'll have words tonight. He'll be cool about it if a bit embarrassed at first