Have n/c for this but I am a regular
I've known a friend for a couple of years. I like her and enjoy her company and think we are generally pretty close. Our DCs get on well. We are both 36.
However, she has 2 best friends, whom she calls her 'besties', and she talks about them all the time. She'll say things like 'I'm going to Frankie and Bennys on Saturday with X and Y, obviously it's just the three of us though as we're all besties, so you wouldn't be able to come'. And whenever we chat she mentions both of them, and says 'My bestie, X' or 'My bestie, Y' whenever she mentions them. I'm never allowed to go to any event or meet up where both 'besties' will be. She once invited me round for lunch to hers but then cancelled on the day as the 'besties' asked her out to lunch elsewhere, and she has said they get priority.
On Facebook if the two besties reply to her status she always says things like 'Thank you my wonderful bestie', or if she has met them both then her statuses say about 'meeting up with the besties'
It's fair enough that she has these best friends, and makes it plain to me I'm not a best friend. However am I alone in thinking it's rather odd for women in their thirties to still be calling their best friends 'besties' and for being so possessive over them. Even my teenage daughter and her friends don't behave in that manner!
AIBU?
To think it's really quite odd when grown women talk about 'besties'?
HerLordship · 05/03/2013 08:09
Ive just been going through the very same thing! Known this woman for a good 10 years or so (Im nearly 31, her nearly 33, her dp and my dh are mates and worked together so we were kind of mates because of that) anyway she'd come out with the exact same things - going on about her 'bestie' and like you, not inviting me along to anything where her bestie would be, it was all very seperate. Id suggest daytime things eg going into town, walks, meals etc and she'd agree, but would only want to see me of an evening for wine, or if there was a works do and she needed someone to sit with....
Anyway despite my attempts to ignore being left out, or the snide comments directed at me but in the guise of 'I didnt mean it like that/ you're taking it the wrong way' etc and blatant lies Ive just ended the friendship. I feel a bit mean (though I wasnt mean to her, she plays a very good 'poor me' and I seem to be feeling guilt for finally standing up for myself 
) but I think its for the best. Proper friends want you to be happy, feel good about yourself, and involve you.
I recently met a couple of women who are downright lovely, and within a matter of months the friendship is just how it should be - theres no 'one upmanship' crap going on, and we all involve each other in things or at least extend the invite. I think meeting these 2 gave me the confidence to realise that its really not been me that had the weird issues, but the 'friend' who obviously liked to put me down to make herself feel better.
Sorry for the long post 
but for so long I thought I had a problem and was unable to make friends with anyone 
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
She's trying to exert power over how much you "try" in the relationship in the hope you'll attempt to become a bestie.
These besties may be friends of long-standing, but I bet they feel a bit bullied or manipulated. Does this woman voice a lot "I don't give a shit" type opinions by any chance? I may be projecting slightly , but this reminds me of a vile woman that I once knew.
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